FourQ
Posts: 1370
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Dear Wife,
I am writing this letter to you to tell you I am leaving you forever!
I have been a good husband to you for the last seven years yet I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been pure hell and when your boss called me today to say you had quit your job, it was the last straw.
Last week you came home, didn't notice I had a new haircut, I had made your favourite meal and was even wearing new silk boxers. You ate you meal in two minutes and went straight to sleep!
You sit all night watching your soaps, you do not tell me you love me any more and never want sex. Either you are cheating on me or you just don't love me any more. Whatever the case it's to late I'm gone, for good.
Signed your EX husband
PS, do not try and find me, your SISTER and I are moving away to start a great life together.
Dear Ex Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than coming home to find your letter.
While it is true we have been married for seven years a good man you have never been.
I watch my soaps to try and drown out your constant moaning! Too bad it never worked.
I did notice you had a new haircut, but because I was brought up to say nothing if I could not say something nice I kept quiet, though I did think you looked just like a girl!
When you cooked me my favourite meal you must have confused me with my sister as I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those silk boxers, I turned away because you still had the £49.99 price tag inside them and I prayed it was a coincidence as I thought about the £50 I had lent my sister that morning.
You see despite it all I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds I quit my job and bought two tickets for Jamaica, you know you always wanted to go there.
Still everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you enjoy your life, my lawyer said once the court reads your letter you won't get a penny of my winnings. So you take care now.
Signed your filthy rich ex wife.
PS I don't know if I ever told you but my sister Carla was born Carl, I hope that's not a problem x
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