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Preparations - 1/21/2006 5:00:02 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I thought this might be a light hearted fun but valuable post---I am 2 weeks away from boarding a plane to finally meet the boy. We have communicated constantly, via IM (daily), emails and long scheduled and spur of the moment phone calls---My journal has the first set of expectations--the second set will be delivered this week--what I'd like to hear, is what some of you do to prepare for that first meeting---(btw we hope this will lead to an LTR)-- what are some of the commands you issue? what are some of the things you require ready for you? what are some of the things you do or think of to mentally prepare? what are some of the special activities you believe lead to success?

Inquiring minds love to know---thanks!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 8:07:16 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I thought this might be a light hearted fun but valuable post---I am 2 weeks away from boarding a plane to finally meet the boy. We have communicated constantly, via IM (daily), emails and long scheduled and spur of the moment phone calls---My journal has the first set of expectations--the second set will be delivered this week--what I'd like to hear, is what some of you do to prepare for that first meeting---(btw we hope this will lead to an LTR)-- what are some of the commands you issue? what are some of the things you require ready for you? what are some of the things you do or think of to mentally prepare? what are some of the special activities you believe lead to success?

Inquiring minds love to know---thanks!


Well... I not one to issue alot of commands ... or any commands for that matter in the courting phase of relationship. However, that was alot of things I suggested to kyra before she came to see me. In fact, I held kyra off from coming to see me for about 3 months before I told her that I would meet her. Up to the point, alot of the things I need to learn or could learn from phone calls, emails and chat was done already. It was about 3 months of confirming these thoughts and also preparing of the meeting. I was very very focused on making her stress and fear levels being minimized. It was suggested that she take alot of precautions for safety.. Now I know that she wasn't endanger in anyway.... BUT, she didn't know that. What she needed to know that was that she had control of the fears of meeting me for the first time... that she could protect herself! She took precautions some I was aware of... and some that I wasn't. She had my personal information... she did a background check on me... she took alot of steps to prepare herself. I knew things was going well when she told me that all this is a waste of time! But, still I wanted and needed her to take all these steps. She was going to have alot of emotions... and fear of me was not going to be one of them!

well... the week or so before she came to me she asked was there any specific instructions on when we meet... This is what I gave her...

1 Don't talk until I give you permission to speak. or unless it is a emergency or an immediate need! also, any questions I ask will be yes or no... and she will nod to answer

2 I wore sunglasses as she approach me thru the airport doors and walked the some 40 feet to me. I didn't take them off until first I look into her eyes for a moment or two.. and then I let her look into my eyes. and then I went to the next step

3 I asked her how she would she like to feel my first touch to be. it was determined that my first touch would be my finger tips on her right cheek. I remember that well... my hand was actually shaking slightly as I gently touch her flesh for the first time.

4 I then gave her a kiss and held her tightly for what seemed forever but was likely only about 5-10 minutes.... I just enjoyed her buried into my chest and aaaaaaaawww the smell of her!!! I took it all in!!! SAVORED it for it was the first moment!

5 As discussed, we walked to the coffee shop down the airport... about 100 yards away. we sat there... It was there I told her that I loved her! I just took her hands into mine looked at her and told her I love her.

6 still not being allowed to speak... I asked her if she was ready to go to the hotel and if she want to take a taxi! by herself... well she nodded yes to the questions.

7... well I think the rest is somewhere else on the board but I can't remember which thread that was... suffice to say that she never recieved permission to speak until we actually were in the hotel room. where she told me " I want to be Yours!'


just a few thoughts

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 8:20:22 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

1 Don't talk until I give you permission to speak. or unless it is a emergency or an immediate need! also, any questions I ask will be yes or no... and she will nod to answer

2 I wore sunglasses as she approach me thru the airport doors and walked the some 40 feet to me. I didn't take them off until first I look into her eyes for a moment or two.. and then I let her look into my eyes. and then I went to the next step

3 I asked her how she would she like to feel my first touch to be. it was determined that my first touch would be my finger tips on her right cheek. I remember that well... my hand was actually shaking slightly as I gently touch her flesh for the first time.

4 I then gave her a kiss and held her tightly for what seemed forever but was likely only about 5-10 minutes.... I just enjoyed her buried into my chest and aaaaaaaawww the smell of her!!! I took it all in!!! SAVORED it for it was the first moment!

5 As discussed, we walked to the coffee shop down the airport... about 100 yards away. we sat there... It was there I told her that I loved her! I just took her hands into mine looked at her and told her I love her.

6 still not being allowed to speak... I asked her if she was ready to go to the hotel and if she want to take a taxi! by herself... well she nodded yes to the questions.

7... well I think the rest is somewhere else on the board but I can't remember which thread that was... suffice to say that she never recieved permission to speak until we actually were in the hotel room. where she told me " I want to be Yours!'

just a few thoughts


AWWWWWWW! {tear}

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 8:31:48 AM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

is what some of you do to prepare for that first meeting---(btw we hope this will lead to an LTR)-- what are some of the commands you issue? what are some of the things you require ready for you? what are some of the things you do or think of to mentally prepare? what are some of the special activities you believe lead to success?


my situation is different as i was generally meeting people who lived nearby or certainly within driving distance and so i had serious problems with those who would say that they were looking for ltr, but acted as if we were ready to scene on the first face-to-face meet. it made me think that they were more interested in a play partner/sex toy than there were in getting to know me and giving me the opportunity to get to know them. as a result, i don't do orders and such things on an initial meet.

while i believe that the kinks have to match, compatibility of the individuals is far more important when trying to sort out all of the parts that must come together to equal budding relationship.


newflowers



(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 8:35:19 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		KnightofMist

That's pretty awesome. Isn't it funny how sometimes, You just know! Your words to her were "I love you" Hers to you "I want to be yours" Your first time together.

I have yet to experience that but my fingers are crossed, along with my balls.....which is very uncomfortable.

In the mean time....daily communication....daily affirmation....daily smiles thinking of "the one"!

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to justheather)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 8:44:57 AM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I thought this might be a light hearted fun but valuable post---I am 2 weeks away from boarding a plane to finally meet the boy. We have communicated constantly, via IM (daily), emails and long scheduled and spur of the moment phone calls---My journal has the first set of expectations--the second set will be delivered this week--what I'd like to hear, is what some of you do to prepare for that first meeting---(btw we hope this will lead to an LTR)-- what are some of the commands you issue? what are some of the things you require ready for you? what are some of the things you do or think of to mentally prepare? what are some of the special activities you believe lead to success?

Inquiring minds love to know---thanks!



I haven't had that many first meetings, but I do like to require a certain item of clothing or apparatus, could be visible or underneath, just to show that there was preparation for this first meeting. I just have to say that K of Mists approach seems damn near perfect, and I really hope that things work out for you.

best,
Smythe


_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 8:53:29 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

KnightofMist

That's pretty awesome. Isn't it funny how sometimes, You just know! Your words to her were "I love you" Hers to you "I want to be yours" Your first time together.

I have yet to experience that but my fingers are crossed, along with my balls.....which is very uncomfortable.

In the mean time....daily communication....daily affirmation....daily smiles thinking of "the one"!

Peace, Kevin


becareful with the crossing the balls thing!! back in 86 I went into emergency because I had a situation that they lamely called...TWISTED TESTICALS.... NOW THAT IS PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! they gave 10 cc's of Demeral, which was great instead of feeling like an elephant was stepping on my balls... it was a Rino! I don't wish anyone that kind of pain.. *G* mmmmmmmmmm well maybe a few *G*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 9:05:20 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

what some of you do to prepare for that first meeting---(btw we hope this will lead to an LTR)-- what are some of the commands you issue? what are some of the things you require ready for you? what are some of the things you do or think of to mentally prepare? what are some of the special activities you believe lead to success?


First Meeting.

1. I expect them to be there.

2. I expect to have a few supplies. Snacks, massage oil, and toy or two, and some drinks.

3. Mental preperations: For them I go ahead and tell what the scene will be for the first part. This will help set the masochist at ease in knowing where the limits are for this first encounter. Things can go further in future meetings.

For me, I shower, clean up, have my toys/tools ready, and make sure not to forget anything. I then have a back up plan just incase I am stood up. I take my vitamins and stay calm.

Activities for success: Scene, Sex, and Communication/talking come to mind. Also get out of the bedroom/hotel room for some recreation that you both like. You can see his manners, how submissive he is in public, and find more common interest. Putt Putt, bowling, pool, movies, eating, etc... are things that can help bring you closer together.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 9:14:40 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

well... the week or so before she came to me she asked was there any specific instructions on when we meet... This is what I gave her...

1 Don't talk until I give you permission to speak. or unless it is a emergency or an immediate need! also, any questions I ask will be yes or no... and she will nod to answer

2 I wore sunglasses as she approach me thru the airport doors and walked the some 40 feet to me. I didn't take them off until first I look into her eyes for a moment or two.. and then I let her look into my eyes. and then I went to the next step

3 I asked her how she would she like to feel my first touch to be. it was determined that my first touch would be my finger tips on her right cheek. I remember that well... my hand was actually shaking slightly as I gently touch her flesh for the first time.

4 I then gave her a kiss and held her tightly for what seemed forever but was likely only about 5-10 minutes.... I just enjoyed her buried into my chest and aaaaaaaawww the smell of her!!! I took it all in!!! SAVORED it for it was the first moment!

5 As discussed, we walked to the coffee shop down the airport... about 100 yards away. we sat there... It was there I told her that I loved her! I just took her hands into mine looked at her and told her I love her.

6 still not being allowed to speak... I asked her if she was ready to go to the hotel and if she want to take a taxi! by herself... well she nodded yes to the questions.

7... well I think the rest is somewhere else on the board but I can't remember which thread that was... suffice to say that she never recieved permission to speak until we actually were in the hotel room. where she told me " I want to be Yours!'


just a few thoughts


Once again KoM is proving that he is NOT a hardass! LOL!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 10:19:05 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119

Once again KoM is proving that he is NOT a hardass! LOL!



D'OH

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 11:29:51 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		awwwww, that is so romantic KofM----your tenderness and respect always shines through your posts...

Well I gave boy a list of things to prepare--he should be wearing black and carrying a white rose. I am arriving so that we can go somewhere and have a leisurely dinner--since he knows the area, he is to choose--he knows My likes and tastes--I have also asked that we mix lots of vanilla time with the other time---

quote:

That's pretty awesome. Isn't it funny how sometimes, You just know! Your words to her were "I love you" Hers to you "I want to be yours" Your first time together.

I have yet to experience that but my fingers are crossed, along with my balls.....which is very uncomfortable.

In the mean time....daily communication....daily affirmation....daily smiles thinking of "the one"!

Peace, Kevin



The butterflies, the nerves, the cold sweat, the butterflies, the visual reality of all the daily affirmations-----and you people think Dom/mes don't get nervous---

hmmm, East Coast/West Coast--might make the northern lights pale by comparison!



< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 1/21/2006 11:30:38 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 11:43:58 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Thank You, KoM.

i suspect that not only do You and your lovely Kyra have something very rare and precious, but that you are the rare individual couple who appreciate it and take good care of your relationship and each other.

best regards,
jimini

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 11:52:47 AM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		MADAM met me where I work for the first time. We decieded it was best for both of us to meet in public, with her husband, and without knowing too much. She did have me wear my first pair of Mary Janes, to see if I can follow instructions, and to make sure it was me. How many guys wear Mary Janes in a busy place anyway?

After that, it was to meet at her place. where I was picked up at the bus stop by her husband, who had orders for me to use Handcuffs on my Ankles and Wrists. After that is was History and a great sessions and friendship.

Now the post of Knightof Mists, was the right way to do things.

BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 12:21:33 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
I know this is not too lighthearted, but to me the real question I have about your project is: How do you bring this boy home?

I'm somewhat awful this way. You could top KoM, have a perfect meeting, fall in love, discover a dream connection. But wait, SHIT, you have to step on a plane and leave. You have to fly 3000 miles away. This is going to suck, BIG TIME.

So, how do you bring this boy home?

If you cannot bring him home, heartache looms.

So, this time with the boy, IMO, needs to be geared toward getting that long term answer.

So, assuming the boy needs permission to speak in the beginning, I might just hand him an envelope, say during the coffee phase of KoM model.

You would say this "Boy, please complete this card and return it to me by X time/date. I will open in on the plane ride coming home, no sooner. You are to open this card first thing tomorrow morning and consider and respond to what's within."

Written in the card would be:

Directions: You are not allowed to discuss the content of the card while we are together. You are simply to search within yourself for the answer. Please fill out one of the two sections below:

Check here ______. "I boy, do hereby pledge my full submission to you, MH, and in accordance with this pledge I vow to close up my life here in "X" and relocate to you by ______________ date. I am fully committed to you and to making our relationship work on a FT basis. I plan to make you my first, most important priority, and to this end I promise to inform you of each detail involving my relocation, including the sale of my house, the retainer of a real estate broker, notice to my employer, puchase of plane tickets, and all other such related matters."

Check here ______. "Dear MH, I cannot relocate to you."

-------


***Upside, no awkward conversations about relocating but you get an answer to this vital questions.

***Downside, it might freak him out by trying to nail him down. It might compromise your time with him.

***Upside, you address this topic in a definitive manner, clear cut manner that give you a very, very specific answer.

***Downside, this might be the kind of thing that needs working out.

***Upside, it seems like a nice D/S way of doing things. The card is even sexier without the second option attached at all.

***Downside, It could make or ruin your plane ride. Even if he makes the pledge, he could still just back out anyway.

------

Free Advice ---- it worth what you paid.....

Addendum:

Section one, of course could be rewritten thusly:

Check here ______. "I boy, do hereby pledge my full submission to you, MH, and in accordance with this pledge I vow to close up my life here in "X" and relocate to you by a date of your choosing. I am fully committed to you and to making our relationship work on a FT basis. To this end, I delegate and release all decisions involving my relocation to you, including the sale of my house, the retainer of a real estate broker, notice to my employer, puchase of plane tickets, and all other such related matters. I now consider myself yours, and I give you full authority to take me in the manner and time frame most pleasing to you. With all my love and submission, I patiently await your instructions."

(This is very D/S, but maybe not too practical.)

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 12:32:36 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		There are a few instructions that he missed...

I was required to have a safe call and a back up plan in case things didn't go as expected at the airport. My comfort and security were the primary focus for this meeting. I had to attend events in my local community. I was also to be in a skirt and heels, weather permitting of course.

One thing I have learned about my Lord is that he is very deliberate in his actions. He rarely does things without full consideration of the risks and rewards. His description of our first meeting is rather romantic, but there were some very practical reasons for all that was done as well.

No speaking - He knew from experience how nervous I would be and he didn't want me worrying over what to say and he wanted me to only focus on the moment, so no speaking.

His clothing (dark sunglasses, long leather coat, hat) - Easy to spot him in a crowd

First touch - that was negotiated so there would be no surprises for me and I knew exactly what was going to happen and when.

Smell – that was very deliberate on my part, he now cannot smell vanilla without thinking of his kyra.

Coffee shop - this was my request, not so much that I thought I needed it, but it served two purposes. One to see his reaction when I requested something designed to give me a little security and two to give me a little time process the events before going and doing something else.

The rest was just both of us being ourselves. One thing that many don't see about him is what a big heart he has. It is so very apparent in his interactions with alandra and I, but most people never have the privilege of seeing it.

MHO - I hope your first meeting is as memorable and special as ours.

Knight's kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 1:18:52 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		wow--I don't know what to say--this is a marvelous post and kyra's as well, so filled with love, passion and to Me the meaning of the commitment--whew, ok I need to breathe for a few--

this is very powerful stuff--and I feel as if I take each of you with Me--I am sure as he reads this he feels the same--

I will respond later, these have just touched My soul--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 1:20:32 PM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:


becareful with the crossing the balls thing!! back in 86 I went into emergency because I had a situation that they lamely called...TWISTED TESTICALS.... NOW THAT IS PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! they gave 10 cc's of Demeral, which was great instead of feeling like an elephant was stepping on my balls... it was a Rino! I don't wish anyone that kind of pain.. *G* mmmmmmmmmm well maybe a few *G*


How can you not like someone who admits he once had twisted balls?

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 1:32:42 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I know this is not too lighthearted, but to me the real question I have about your project is: How do you bring this boy home?

I'm somewhat awful this way. You could top KoM, have a perfect meeting, fall in love, discover a dream connection. But wait, SHIT, you have to step on a plane and leave. You have to fly 3000 miles away. This is going to suck, BIG TIME.

So, how do you bring this boy home?

If you cannot bring him home, heartache looms.

So, this time with the boy, IMO, needs to be geared toward getting that long term answer.



Having never actually been in this situation, but thinking I was going to be at one time, I certainly understand your ideas here. The only thing I would want to add is that I am not sure that one visit is practical to determine the longevity of the relationship. In my opinion, I think the first visit will most likely still have some "dreaminess" to it, meaning, everyone is putting on their best behavior. I think it would be easy to determine whether there is a connection, but to decide to relocate would, at least for me, require another visit or two.

In any case, I wish Mistress Hathor and her boy the best!

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 4:05:45 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
If I had to criticism myself here I would say:

How sensible is it to expect one person to relocate to another after having only spent one small piece of time together? A more patient and deliberate approach might be wiser.

Still -- the note - decision model could be modified any way you like.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Preparations - 1/21/2006 4:08:49 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

The only thing I would want to add is that I am not sure that one visit is practical to determine the longevity of the relationship. In my opinion, I think the first visit will most likely still have some "dreaminess" to it, meaning, everyone is putting on their best behavior. I think it would be easy to determine whether there is a connection, but to decide to relocate would, at least for me, require another visit or two.[:)


I was just thinking the same thing, but there's something sexy about going the other way. It has a D/S fairy tale element to it, one that I must confess, would be fun to believe in. Maybe MH can make it true for all of us.

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 20
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