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NeedToUseYou -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:49:40 AM)
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Rampant unjustified jealousy is one thing and I wouldn't endure it.
But alot of people use jealousy as a way of diverting the blame on the person suspecting bad behaviour of the other. In order to make them think there is something wrong with them, and they should put a cap on there intuition. Most common would be cheating. I've seen this several time and have experienced it myself.
In my parents relationship, my step-mother suspected something was wrong, and that my dad was cheating. Well, he would say, oh your being jealous, I just have been working late etc..... And laugh it off. Well, a year later, it was discovered that he had been cheating, and divorce. That appeared as jealousy, but since it was correct it wasn't. I was seeing a girl in college and she started hanging out with this other guy more than normal, I said something about it, Oh your just being jealous, she said. Well, a few weeks later it was found out. Anyway, it's about 50/50 from circumstances I've seen when people that were displaying jealousy, were right on the money. So, just writing it off as a personal issue isn't always the case. And my golden rule on the subject is if someone does just right off a feeling I might have, it is more likely my feelings where correct than not. Why would someone write off something like that, unless it was true?
So, since jealousy is only jealousy when it's not found out to be true, otherwise it's called being observant of strange behaviour in your partner. So, I've displayed jealous behaviour, but to this day it's never been unjustified. So, now, if I have those feelings, and explanations aren't given for the weird behaviours, that prompted those emotions. I'll quickly get out.
That being said there is a difference between normal jealousy, which is just questioning what you'd perceive as odd unexplained behaviour that implies something is not right with the situation and leads you to ask questions like "Where were you after work last night". And extreme jealousy, where every phone call is monitored etc... Though sometimes in those circumstances there is a history between them, that isn't readily disclosed to outsiders. I wouldn't never endure a long-term jealous relationship, but a small bout of jealousy, is normal.
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