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If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:12:17 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		I've been doing WIIWD for a long time now. I was around pre-internet explosion, when it was much harder to find the organizations and other people into what we are into.

Thanks to Lord Colm and jade, we were all alerted that 'submission is a gift."

Ok, well, if submission *is* a gift, then what is Dominance? Seriously, while my 'sisters in submission' and I roll our eyes and laugh our preverbial assess off and compare notes about our 'gifts' it occured to me that Dominance doesn't have something so wholly assinine associated with it.

So here I am, with all the humility I can possibly muster, asking the Doms and Dommes, the Masters and the Mistresses to please let us all know, if Submission is a Gift, what is Dominance?

Kassie

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:18:18 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Why, it is a gift too, of course!

*smile*

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:19:06 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		Whatever it is that you are; by being honest with yourself and seeking your own fulfillment you become the gift you give to yourself.

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:21:13 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		A much more sincere and serious answer than my facetious reply.

Well said too.

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:21:18 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

Why, it is a gift too, of course!

*smile*


Thanks Shade, for clearing that up for us ~grin~

Nice to see you back by the way!

Kassie

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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:22:51 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		I never bought into the whole "gift" thing. For me its an exchange... I've called it a symbiosis, each providing something the other needs in a mutually beneficial exhange.

Comparing your "gifts" aye... would that be your lovely lady lumps?

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:28:52 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

I never bought into the whole "gift" thing. For me its an exchange... I've called it a symbiosis, each providing something the other needs in a mutually beneficial exhange.

Comparing your "gifts" aye... would that be your lovely lady lumps?


LOL....lovely lady lumps huh? No, my friend and I were basically whining about the fact that we can't get out of domestic chores without a valid excuse. Apparently, as I discovered today, a throbbing headache does not get one out of ironing His dress shirts. Go figure...

I never bought into the 'gift' thing either. It just is so over romantacized for my tastes. That is not to say that there isn't a good amount of romance in my relationship; but for heaven sakes, there's other things to do besides tie me up and ravish me. There are shirts to be ironed and other assorted tasks... ~grin~

Kassie

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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/5/2006 11:59:49 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		LOL...but I like 'gifts'...for me I agree that it is a symbiotic exchange, perhaps more synchronistic than symbiotic, but that's just wordplay huh? I can appreciate the ironing though <g>
C.

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 12:08:24 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He enters, smiles to all............

EASY PEASY.....Submission is a Precious Gift.......Dominance a Sought Blessing.

My 'Wild' declares, I am her paintbrush, she is My canvas.

To Padriag, yes, I certainly agree on the symbiosis,


Smiles to all

Paul, Sir to Angel and Wild

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 12:11:58 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

So here I am, with all the humility I can possibly muster, asking the Doms and Dommes, the Masters and the Mistresses to please let us all know, if Submission is a Gift, what is Dominance?


I think that the group who view submission as a 'gift' do so not as a noun, but as a transitive verb.

Main Entry: 2gift
Function: transitive verb
1 : to endow with some power, quality, or attribute

It's a beautiful theory and if it works for some, go for it, but for me, I didn't endow anyone with anything. Himself took it ::my power:: because he wanted it and had the ability to do so. Pure and simple.

Since I don't, personally, view submission as a gift, I guess I can't answer the question.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 12:14:01 AM   
cacodylic


Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Ok, well, if submission *is* a gift, then what is Dominance? <snip>
So here I am, with all the humility I can possibly muster, asking the Doms and Dommes, the Masters and the Mistresses to please let us all know, if Submission is a Gift, what is Dominance?

Kassie

Hmmmm, I guess as a sub then I shouldn't comment? Well too bad, I will anyway. I do view my submission as a gift... It's clear from their profile info that a lot of dommes don't [want to] see it that way. From the right domme, I'd also see her dominance as a gift to me, but once again it's clear from their profile info that a lot of dommes see their dominance as some kind of bleepin' divine right....

Guess I'm just a 'do-me sub' LOL
c

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 12:15:11 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		i used to think of my submission as a gift, now i see it as a curse.

"a gift ungiven is no longer a gift, but a burden to the giver"

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 2:07:15 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		"Submission is a gift" that only tells part of the story. Lets face it, what happens to most gifts we are given. They amuse for a short time and spend the next few years at the back of the cupboard, ignored and forgotten till we get round to ditching them at a charity shop!

Submission isn't just given, it is earned through the building of trust

The other side of the coin is the Dominant accepting RESPONCIBILITY for that submission, for that to hapen it should also be earned in exactly the same way, with the building of trust.

Both people should be getting something out of it and both people need to be putting in the work to make it happen.... D/s relationships are no diffrent than any other kind of relationship in that respect.

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 2:47:23 AM   
MarinaBlack


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline 		Is symbiosis not also a gift?

Anything of value is a gift.
Neither dominance nor submission should be granted lightly. Both have value.

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 2:55:35 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

"Submission is a gift" that only tells part of the story. Lets face it, what happens to most gifts we are given. They amuse for a short time and spend the next few years at the back of the cupboard, ignored and forgotten till we get round to ditching them at a charity shop!


Not to mention the implications of those who "regift" a gift. Or the gift that keeps on giving. :)

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 4:02:58 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I never bought into the 'gift' thing either. It just is so over romantacized for my tastes. That is not to say that there isn't a good amount of romance in my relationship; but for heaven sakes, there's other things to do besides tie me up and ravish me. There are shirts to be ironed and other assorted tasks... ~grin~

Kassie


If submission is such a gift, why do so many subs try to "force" this gift upon someone? A conversation I had last night...he wanted to "gift" me 2-3 times a year when his "ribbon" itched, it seems. Alas, I wasn't interested in unwrapping that package.

I've always felt that if submission is a gift - it's only a gift to oneself, to accept this part of themselves, deal with it in a constructive manner, and be at peace with it.

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 4:20:14 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		If it is a gift, it is one submissives need to give. What is a gift worth if no one wants it? It is worthless, even a liability.

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 4:37:41 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Sub, Dom, top bottom etc etc.
These are roles, not "gifts".

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 4:51:32 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Alot of things are *romantized or sugar coated* so that it has greater marketing appeal, particulary with females. What better way to promote boring domestic chores then to make it look like a beautiful scene from some movie? She stands there in her black PVC french maids outfit with the lacey apron and 7 inch stiletto heeled shoes on as she is doing the dishes when the *One* walks in. He see's her , smiles at his obedient and wonderful *lil one*. He walks up behind her, kisses her on the back of the neck and then pushes her over the sink and begins to smack her bare ass until she squeals like a monkey.
REALITY- She's hot, sweaty up to her elbows in dirty dishes and she's wearing sweatpants, a tshirt and tennis shoes. She's worked all day and housework, contrary to popular belief, is neither fun nor easy, she's run a bunch of errands and has waited on his ass all morning. Her head hurts, she's tired and she really wishes that sometimes he'd get off his lazy ass and help do something around the house when he walks in. He's grumpy because he had a bad day at work and traffic was just a bitch. He walks up behind her looks at her and then at the dishes she's doing. "Why isn't my dinner on the table? Its 6 o'clock."

So if submission is a gift, I'd have to say Dominance is a responsibility. It is my responsibility to see to it that my sub performs within my set of rules and that I adhere to the standards I have set for myself for taking care of them.

Lashra

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RE: If Submission is a 'gift', what's Dominance? - 3/6/2006 5:21:13 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		If submission is a gift, then Dominance is plainly God's gift to women.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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