quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



There are a lot of terms and definitions in this loaded topic.  Sex, sexual intercourse, sexual release, sensuality, sensual power - really, all (and more) could fall under the umbrella of "sexuality" to people.

For me, I don't use sexual intercourse as a carrot. I don't use *my body* as a reward system for men I am not emotionally intimate with already. I do use sexuality and sensuality as motivators to get a man to surrender to me.  Men are sexual, sensually responsive creatures and I do whatever it takes to get him to that point that he will do things that are not comfortable for him.  While I find that *ego* is often a good motivator to get a man to his knees, sometimes sensuality is more effective.

The landmine here is whether or not that becomes "all" he is about. If he's a one-trick pony, he's of no use to me.  If he can't understand how sensuality and power work on a higher level for me, beyond simple orgasms or his erection, we won't get far.  He needs to understand that sexual energy is just a small piece of the puzzle. 

I also gravitate toward men whose sexuality is more drawn to pleasing a woman rather than pleasing himself, AND is not limited to what he's eroticized as a woman's sexual pleasure.  IE, I want a man who wants me sexually satisfied *at all costs* and despite his own sexual satisfaction, but he's not merely obsessed with one sexual act - ie, "worshipping my pussy" or "licking my ass" or "going down on me for hours" -- he has to have a broader, more selfless view of what my *sexual contentedness* looks like.  And know that as a woman, my sexuality is much more complicated than an orgasm, which I can easily achieve thanks to my vibrator minus the baggage if he's got a huge ideal in his head about what my sexuality should look like. He's got to be more driven to understand how to please me on a sexually emotional level, which can be (and should be, for me) very demanding, often degrading and ultimately selfless.


Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

quote:

ORIGINAL: naiveguy
I wonder what you think about using your sexuality for control only, and not have sex?

Jesus, dude, I think they figured that one out around the time we men got our first boner.


And we have been trying to talk them out of it ever since.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

I dont have sex with a sub until we are in a actual relationship that I feel may last,no exceptions! And I dont walk around trying to be sexual to control a sub,as a matter of fact I may not even be there WHEN they serve! To each there own

quote:

ORIGINAL: naiveguy
Madam, I hear you. I am not demanding any thing from dommes, that they should do this or that. I am simply asking what they think about being sexual in their domination, even if it's with their eye-candy sub of choice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I pretty much said it all over here, but I'll copy over the salient points.  If a man is dominant, his power supposedly comes from what he does, or is capable of doing. He is strong, active, competent, a responsible leader and caretaker. If a woman is dominant, her power supposedly comes from what she wears and what her body looks like. She's hot and she dresses in uncomfortable clothing that shows off her sexual desirability and makes her a sex object.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sighdream
Women have been doing it since the before the dawn of recorded history.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naiveguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



There are a lot of terms and definitions in this loaded topic.  Sex, sexual intercourse, sexual release, sensuality, sensual power - really, all (and more) could fall under the umbrella of "sexuality" to people.

For me, I don't use sexual intercourse as a carrot. I don't use *my body* as a reward system for men I am not emotionally intimate with already. I do use sexuality and sensuality as motivators to get a man to surrender to me.  Men are sexual, sensually responsive creatures and I do whatever it takes to get him to that point that he will do things that are not comfortable for him.  While I find that *ego* is often a good motivator to get a man to his knees, sometimes sensuality is more effective.

The landmine here is whether or not that becomes "all" he is about. If he's a one-trick pony, he's of no use to me.  If he can't understand how sensuality and power work on a higher level for me, beyond simple orgasms or his erection, we won't get far.  He needs to understand that sexual energy is just a small piece of the puzzle. 

I also gravitate toward men whose sexuality is more drawn to pleasing a woman rather than pleasing himself, AND is not limited to what he's eroticized as a woman's sexual pleasure.  IE, I want a man who wants me sexually satisfied *at all costs* and despite his own sexual satisfaction, but he's not merely obsessed with one sexual act - ie, "worshipping my pussy" or "licking my ass" or "going down on me for hours" -- he has to have a broader, more selfless view of what my *sexual contentedness* looks like.  And know that as a woman, my sexuality is much more complicated than an orgasm, which I can easily achieve thanks to my vibrator minus the baggage if he's got a huge ideal in his head about what my sexuality should look like. He's got to be more driven to understand how to please me on a sexually emotional level, which can be (and should be, for me) very demanding, often degrading and ultimately selfless.


Akasha

Thank you Madam for your nice reply :) I understand the emotional needs of a relationship too, and the need of a sub to be selfless.

Madam, I am curious about your talking of ego to bring a man to his knees. Can you explain it a little bit more?

quote:

ORIGINAL: naiveguy

Ok, excuse my list of replies. I wanted to reply to each post.

In conclusion. I want to say that no matter what, sex is a great motivator for men. It is selfish and short-term , but it is how nature made men. But women want more of emotions, love, loyalty - they want men to be driven by these things, and sex comes later, or as a part. It's the same in vanilla relationships too. Therefore, it's a job for men, to work towards being more emotional, and wholesome for women. And honestly, I find love and emotions more heart-warming, despite being a man. But I can't help being curious about sex. I blame mother nature :)

Thank you very much again Ladies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naiveguy

Ok, excuse my list of replies. I wanted to reply to each post.

In conclusion. I want to say that no matter what, sex is a great motivator for men. It is selfish and short-term , but it is how nature made men. But women want more of emotions, love, loyalty - they want men to be driven by these things, and sex comes later, or as a part. It's the same in vanilla relationships too. Therefore, it's a job for men, to work towards being more emotional, and wholesome for women. And honestly, I find love and emotions more heart-warming, despite being a man. But I can't help being curious about sex. I blame mother nature :)

Thank you very much again Ladies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naiveguy

Sorry, I certainly didn't mean it to be sexist. I called men selfish and women more loving. I am not saying at all that women should be chaste and all, if you're thinking along those lines.