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Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:02:02 PM   
olinkalex


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline 		Sorry to ask, but I've been having hard weeks and I just want to know what I'm doing wrong.

I've send tons of messages to alot of girls that I realy want to talk to, but no matter what I do they just don't reply. I've check my inbox and they say that they have read my message, but they just won't reply to me.

I don't say anything rude or sick, I messages aren't short nor long, and I do send them a picture of me.

I don't know what else to put on here, but I guess I'm just asking can anyone please help me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:04:32 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		your journal doesn't help, and with several billion folks on the planet some folks are still alone....it's just hard man, that's all, and you want her to cook and drive, when thats outta the way, whats in it for her, besides tying her up? 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:25:52 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Your profile needs to convince her to reply, as does your initial email. You've got to sell yourself, man! What's in it for her? You seem very sweet, and honesty is a very attractive quality so I like that, about you... But what do you have to offer a woman, specifically?

Don't spam women. We hate that, and it will get you ignored and blocked. Make sure every introductory message talks about something specific in her profile so that she knows you've actually read it. Talk about what you have in common with her. Vanilla stuff.

Also, read the FAQ thread at the top of the Ask A Mistress section. The stuff you need to know is there, even though you are not seeking a domme.

And be patient! You haven't even been here two months. Give it time, and you'll do fine.



_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:27:25 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		Read this thread.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3399115/tm.htm

If you want, read my profile too. (Not that I'm using it for anything besides reference material. )
I'm nothing special, but I'm human.

Your profile leaves me with not a clue in the world as to who you are or what you are like as a person...

And when you have that many interests listed it's hard to tell what you're most likely to end up doing tonight.

Edit: Or leave milk and cookies.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/23/2010 3:15:23 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:33:17 PM   
olinkalex


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline 		What is concider Spam? So I don't end up putting that on my messages

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:39:56 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Women will not respond to all the messages they receive here. They might respond to 5% of all they get. In other words, it's not easy to not be in the 95%.

Edited to add: you say that you would really like to talk to these ladies - do you match what they're looking for as well?

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 9/23/2010 2:43:34 PM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:50:06 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Does anyone have a link to that massive thread Stephann started?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 2:51:43 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/key_profile/tm.htm#1717756 

even the vaguelycurious should find that easily thru the search feature.

LOL.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 3:00:37 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		She's just delegating tasks to her minions.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 3:13:46 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		Hello, olinkalex!

i don't know why girls aren't talking to You, but i can give a few pointers:

1. read the thread links above

2. fix the spelling errors in your profile. People are crazy for spelling on collarme.

3. There are lots of people on this site who have Aspergers. But they don't put it on their profile. i would hold off on saying that until You've exchanged a few emails, at least. Let Your personality to the talking. Asperger's is not the most important thing about You, is it?

4. Be prepared to explain in greater detail what Asperger's is, when You do tell her. Your profile merely states that it is a form of autism. You're going to want to be more specific than that. Can You function on Your own? Do Your own laundry and cooking? Drive? Hold a conversation? There is a whole spectrum for autism, and Asperger's is on the high functioning side, right? You're going to want to explain that- basically Your a normal guy who happens to have a disorder.

5. Your profile sounds a little young. Sorry if that's harsh. It almost sounds like You're not a grown up. i would re-write the whole thing, focusing on Your strengths and using a confident sense of humor.

6. Particularly: avoid complaining about fakes and scammers, and girls that won't message You back.

7. You sound like a sweet guy. Good luck!

pam

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 3:51:24 PM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline 		Well, Sweetie you are paying for the sins of the million other try hard, would be if they could be, dead beat arseholes who have come before you.
The other side of CM (the profile side) is a jungle where any female regardless of orientation is considered any man's meat.
Of course we're going to be defensive.

The others are right about your profile.
It's ..MEH.

Look at it this way..you are launching a new product (you) into a new arena with a new possible consumer base (us).
In this market place there are quite literally thousands of similar products for your would be customers to chose from.

Now let's be honest now....how well do you think you went in marketing yourself?
You might be the "second coming" and the sweetest nicest guy on the planet but how would we know that by looking at your profile?

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 4:22:04 PM   
toxic66


Posts: 47
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline 		There has been some really good advice already given (spell check is your friend), I would add one thing. One of your journal posts makes you sound desperate. You never want to sound that way. Most women (and most men for that matter) want to feel like they are with someone desirable and special, especially with a Dom. When you come across as desperate you sound like no one else wants you and that does not make you attractive to the person reading your profile. You should also talk about some vanilla interests and what you would do for her (what are some of the responsibilities of the Dom to the submissive?).

(in reply to BentUnit)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 4:44:39 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Wonderful advice thus far. What I'd like to add:

Erase everything except your main photo...profile content, journal entries, second photo...and start over.

Ask yourself what you have to offer a woman....what makes you any different from the oddles of other "doms" on this site?

Did you incorporate any of the advice from your previous, similar, post http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3390940 ? If not...why?

In looking over your past posts, along with your current profile which mentions wanting someone to cook, drive, assist and take care of you, I'm left to wonder what you plan to offer a woman besides a young man who is "very Dominanting" and "crazy on making love".

You'd be surprised at how much a person will read between the lines. What are you trying to say and why should a woman listen?

For the record....one look at your profile and I would take you for a very young man who has his head full of fantasies and little to no experience. If the lack of experience is true, so be it. What are you doing to advance yourself as a person...a dominant man? Keep in mind...this question has nothing to do with sex.

Good luck and be patient.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 9/23/2010 4:48:00 PM >

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 6:36:28 PM   
wanderingsoul65


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline 		For starters, ditch the reference to Aspergers in the profile. You can discuss health issues after you've established a relationship. Ii is far easier to convince someone you are capable of behavior that meets societal norms and full relationships AFTER they have seen it first hand. Also, get rid of the driving/cooking reference. It's a bridge to be crossed later.

No offense, ( as I actually know what autism is, and understand the driving reference), but as it stands now, your profile translates into "Slightly handicpped man seeks live in home health aide. Must be willing to provide kinky sex."

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 6:41:21 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		For a profile pic, use a statue of a big assed white rooster. (Huge hard cock pic). Just kidding although, I get a lot of emails from women appreciating the sense of humor.

Seriously. there are a LOT more men than women here. You need to stand out. After you post a profile, go back and read it and ask yourself. "If I was a picky female, would I respond to this?"

If the answer is no, do some honest soul searching and ask yourself WHY?

Fix the prob and repeat.

Keep ya chin up and remember. Masculine and MACHO are opposites.

One implies confidence, the other SCREAMS insecurity. I'll leave you to figure out which is which

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 6:50:20 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		I am also not fond of your white-ish T-shirt.

You can only make a white T-shirt look good if you're going to dance in it (with the hinted possibility of it coming off)! Or if it says:
"I was cool,
then I ran out of mana."

Oh goodness, your most recent journal entry is like 3 reasons for why you shouldn't "become a master".

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/23/2010 7:14:11 PM >

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 7:22:51 PM   
LadyRian


Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Hello, I would like to add that I had a lot of trouble even reading your profile at all, because the colours you chose actually hurt my eyes and the words were pretty difficult to read.


The suggestions others have given you are excellent.


_____________________________

"Dodging bullets since 2010"

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 7:38:00 PM   
rulemylife


Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline 		I would tell you but I don't really want to talk to you.

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 7:43:01 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: olinkalex

Sorry to ask, but I've been having hard weeks and I just want to know what I'm doing wrong.

I've send tons of messages to alot of girls that I realy want to talk to, but no matter what I do they just don't reply. I've check my inbox and they say that they have read my message, but they just won't reply to me.

I don't say anything rude or sick, I messages aren't short nor long, and I do send them a picture of me.

I don't know what else to put on here, but I guess I'm just asking can anyone please help me.


Greetings olinkalex:

What happened to the new slave girl you own that took you “ a hole day to draw” as you stated in your thread that can be found in the link below. Just curious? AND searching for clarity regarding your dilemma regarding " Why won't anyone talk to me?" Perhaps I missed something of importance. I welcome clarity prior to replying with any further comments.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3307025/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3308994

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 8:03:08 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Spam is a pasted message that generally goes out to whomever the spammer can see is online at the moment (but not always)- its sending everyone the same message. A mass message that doesn't mention anything specific about the person you are addressing.

... So that even if you're not spamming: if a woman gets a message from you that doesn't talk to her in a way that shows that you have actually read her entire profile (ie. "hey, I read your profile, and noticed that we both like x, y and z" - or somesuch) then she will likely assume you are indeed spamming whomever is online- and she'll likely be turned off by that. And then you're likely to be ignored or blocked.

So no one- liners, or generic messages.

For your initial message: talk to a woman in detail, about specifically what you like about her and have in common with her, and why you feel you might be a good match for her, and what you have to offer.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 20
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