RE: Sensual Dom (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 8:21:31 AM)

Thanks, Lilly. [;)]

One of the things that annoys me is that when men read the responses from the women who claim, sensual? nah, too wimpy for me, it is bound to perpetuate the stereotpyical hard ass, cold behavior, insensitive imagery that a "twue Dom" should have.




FukinTroll -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 1:17:01 PM)

quote:

stereotypical hard ass, cold behavior, insensitive imagery that a "twue Dom" should have.


HEY NOW!

It's all about me an there will be nuthin sensual about it. Lemme paint you a picture lil trollop!

Your thighs around my shoulders, my tongue buried in the depths of your divinity... teeth nipping, lips sucking, using you like the piece of SLURP MEAT that you are. A fine sheen of sweat beading up over your body, thighs trembling, shuttering, shaking and your breath catching in ragged gasps of OPPRESSED passion. My right arm under you, your slippery silken back sliding side to side over my forearm, my hand wound tight in your hair pulling your head back as my nails also bite into the nape of your neck. Eyes locked at the wall behind you, seeing nothing, devoid of sight... in the stunning stare of la petie mort, the fine pressure of your hair draggin your head back, your neck stretched taught making that bated breath so much sweeter as the cool air finally gets snatched into burning lungs. My left arm curled and coiled around your ass, woven over your thigh, my hand applying that YUMMY pressure to your mons... that terrible, tumultuous itch digging and tugging deep inside you, threatening to collapse you inside yourself... at last explodes! Your mind becomes fog and fuzz... the surreality of your body humming, vibrating, vaulting against orgasmic ecstasy... MADDENING!  There is no hope, there is no escape... slipping into the sweet surrender of oblivion as your breath fails you and your eyes close shall not stay my task. You are MINE slurp meat, and the night has just begun.

WTF is sensual about that? If that isn't evil sadism I don't know what is.

YMMV
SLURP~



porcelaine -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 4:38:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

One of the things that annoys me is that when men read the responses from the women who claim, sensual? nah, too wimpy for me, it is bound to perpetuate the stereotpyical hard ass, cold behavior, insensitive imagery that a "twue Dom" should have.


I'm going to go to bat for my sadism loving sisters. I've had more than one gentle/sensual/whatever he wants to call himself contact me when I'm very explicit in my posts and profile (over yonder) about what I'm into. And the remarks go in both directions. I've read disparaging comments about women that enjoy pain from men that can't or won't deliver it as if there's something wrong with them for feeling that way.

Do I consider them wimpy? No. But I have seriously questioned if he's deluding himself by looking in my direction. While I don't want a constant block of ice, I do enjoy cruelty and coldness when it's well balanced. But I don't get annoyed if someone isn't into getting their mind messed up or having a delightful smack down. Their preference has no bearing on what I do or enjoy.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



sexyred1 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 5:03:23 PM)

FT, you cut and pasted that from the other thread, but it is still smoking hot. :)

porcelaine, I never said anything against sadism and those who seek that, nor did I say that sensuality has nothing to do with sadism. There are many gradations of each and they can co-exist.

I was speaking about the either/or, black/white opinions, that is what I disagree with. As well as calling sensual men weak, I think that is nonsense. They may not be enough for you or someone seeking an intense sadist, but they are not weak.

The same if a stone cold sadist approached me, I would not label him crazy, I would just politely say that I am not into that level of sadism.




FukinTroll -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 5:25:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

FT, you cut and pasted that from the other thread, but it is still smoking hot. :)




Check the time stamp baby. I actually c/p'd the other way.

SLURP~



porcelaine -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 5:25:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I was speaking about the either/or, black/white opinions, that is what I disagree with. As well as calling sensual men weak, I think that is nonsense. They may not be enough for you or someone seeking an intense sadist, but they are not weak.


That's what I'm saying. Perhaps it is black or white for someone and they sincerely view that as weak, less than, etc. Look at how the strong versus doormat debate often unfolds. Some cannot see both positions as good. They view one aspect as preferred and the other to be avoided. And while we can exercise tolerance and believe the differences are alright and whatever floats your boat, more than a few cannot. :)

Namaste,

~porcelaine



Arpig -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 6:46:25 PM)

quote:

Wow I'm actually really surprised to read some of the negative opinions of being sensual!
Or maybe they just aren't into that sort of thing



Arpig -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:13:54 PM)

quote:

To me it just indicates not sadistic. Interested in power, in sexuality, in sensation play, but not just giving as much pain as possible.
Sadism isn't about the maximum amount of pain possible. Very often the smallest amount of pain applied to the right body part at the right time is enough. Pinching a nipple causes pain...but I bet most of you who are not into pain enjoy that. Sadism, or at least the brand I indulge in, is about exploring ways to merge the pleasure and pain into one indistinguishable whole. Sometimes this involves a lot of pain, sometimes nothing more than a really rough cervix-bumping fuck.

As to the OP's question..I don't really know. I guess non-sadist. By the various definitions offered here, I am a sensual Dom as well as a sadist. To me its all a matter of degrees, its all sensation play...pain is a just another sensation. As angelikaJ so nicely described...pure pleasure, if it is intense enough can be a form of painful.



Arpig -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:19:17 PM)

quote:

One of the things that annoys me is that when men read the responses from the women who claim, sensual? nah, too wimpy for me, it is bound to perpetuate the stereotpyical hard ass, cold behavior, insensitive imagery that a "twue Dom" should have.
You know, men have brains too. Anybody who tailors their dominance to appeal to another is in my books not a dominant to begin with,



sexyred1 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:22:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

FT, you cut and pasted that from the other thread, but it is still smoking hot. :)




Check the time stamp baby. I actually c/p'd the other way.

SLURP~



LOL. I was just teasing you babe. Either way it was mucho caliente.



sexyred1 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:25:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

One of the things that annoys me is that when men read the responses from the women who claim, sensual? nah, too wimpy for me, it is bound to perpetuate the stereotpyical hard ass, cold behavior, insensitive imagery that a "twue Dom" should have.
You know, men have brains too. Anybody who tailors their dominance to appeal to another is in my books not a dominant to begin with,


You and most of the other fab men on the boards most definitely have brains and are not in the target market I referenced.



Arpig -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:36:51 PM)

Yeah, I know, it just rubbed me the wrong way. I toned down my reply...you wouldn't have liked the 1st draft at all.[:)]



sexyred1 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:39:03 PM)

Oh? Well, don't hold back on my account.

I don't exactly back down when people dislike my opinions.



Arpig -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 7:47:17 PM)

Nah it was just rude and insulting on a broad basis....a lot of my posts start out that way. Then after venting, I erase and start over



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/16/2011 8:21:19 PM)

i don't believe sadism is always about the maximum amount of pain possible, either. i like sadists, but i agree with sexyred1 that there does not always have to be this big "either/or" thing regarding sadism and sensuality -- sadism IS a kind of sensuality.
people have this idea that sensual means soft massages and feather boas and chocolate bonbons, blah blah blah -- but the dictionary definition that was posted earlier is what it is for me; it's about indulging the senses, indulging the physical, carnal nature in all of us. that's all.


p.s -- Troll needs to start writing smutty, smutty drool-inducing slurptabulous fiction.



porcelaine -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/17/2011 7:08:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

people have this idea that sensual means soft massages and feather boas and chocolate bonbons, blah blah blah -- but the dictionary definition that was posted earlier is what it is for me; it's about indulging the senses, indulging the physical, carnal nature in all of us. that's all.


I don't think they're confused about sensuality, it simply isn't something they associate with kink or what drew them to it in the first place. They're looking for a different edge. I probably fall in that crowd. I can get sensual anywhere. But there are elements of what I deem sadistic that your average Joe won't provide. And I wouldn't want it from him anyway. It's the packaging that turns me on the most.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



MercTech -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/17/2011 10:34:38 AM)

Hmm, to paint with a few broad strokes, thinking of what a dominant gets for himself from a scene...

The sadistic dominant receives validation from the acts he is performing.  It is the act of creating pain he craves.

The control dominant receives validation from the very act of controlling the actions of the submissive.

Now what is a sensual dom?  One who wants to be in charge in the bedroom and pick how and how often he has sex? 

For myself, I know that it doesn't really matter WHAT I'm doing but I get a true thrill of playing a symphony of intense sensation on a willing, eager, instrument.

Stefan



sexyred1 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/17/2011 10:49:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i don't believe sadism is always about the maximum amount of pain possible, either. i like sadists, but i agree with sexyred1 that there does not always have to be this big "either/or" thing regarding sadism and sensuality -- sadism IS a kind of sensuality.
people have this idea that sensual means soft massages and feather boas and chocolate bonbons, blah blah blah -- but the dictionary definition that was posted earlier is what it is for me; it's about indulging the senses, indulging the physical, carnal nature in all of us. that's all.


p.s -- Troll needs to start writing smutty, smutty drool-inducing slurptabulous fiction.



I agree that sadism can be sensual in some ways. When I read how Kana, for example, describes what he does, even though he sounds very sadistic, there is an energy and an intensity that he uses that makes it sound sensual. He has made me swoon on more than one occassion. And others have as well who are self described sadists.

It is all about context and the passion of it is expressed.

And I agree, there is never enough Troll smut. [;)]



leadership527 -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/17/2011 11:19:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
Anybody who tailors their dominance to appeal to another is in my books not a dominant to begin with,

That'd be me *chuckles*

Interestingly, I'd see it as the other way around. Anyone who expects to just move through the world, unchanging and unchanged by the people around them... especially the people they are leading... is living in a fantasy. At least what I mean by "dominance" and "submission" is still a relationship and accordingly it must be bi-directional to work.

My "dominance" ... or if you don't think I'm dominant, then my "leadership" is individually tailored to every single person I lead. My goals change to encompass theirs. I build teams and I'm just as much of the team as anyone else.



kalikshama -> RE: Sensual Dom (3/17/2011 1:49:38 PM)

quote:

You know, men have brains too. Anybody who tailors their dominance to appeal to another is in my books not a dominant to begin with,


I know several HNGs who are deliberately vague in an attempt to appeal to the widest possible pool. (This approach does not work with me.)



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