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anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 4:09:37 AM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline 		The literature on this is sketchy and doesn't always agree with itself so I'm asking here.  I'd love to hear from people with experience.

Is a condom necessary for anal sex?
 
I realize this is quite a loaded topic and likely depends a lot on several variables.  Here are some facts in my own situation:
 
- my girl was a virgin before me, has only been with me, and I have only been with essentially one other person before her (my wife), and we are both STD free
- my girl is on birth control (the patch)
- my girl is nearly able to cum from anal stimulation alone and can fairly comfortably get a finger in when she's turned on
- neither of us have tried anal sex but we look forward to doing so
- I'm allergic to the lubrication found in most condoms and generally don't get enough stimulation through the material to fully enjoy sex
- we've never used a condom before for anything, and hope to not have to (for the reasons mentioned above, and also because of the psychological effect of having something between us)
 
I'm a health care professional, so if your reply is simply going to be "I think bums can be dirty!!!" then you can skip it - thanks.  :p
 
We're going to be together sometime in June (I can't wait) and I know she doesn't intend to keep any part of herself from her master - and I don't plan to get back on that plane without having all of her this time.  :)  I won't be packing condoms unless I determine I'll definitely need them for anal sex.  Yes, I've seen porn, and I realize they almost never use condoms for anal sex.  But I'm also aware that the actors in such films are tested for STDs regularly.
 
Anxiously awaiting any and all replies, and thanks in advance!  Tips (lube is good, of course.. but what kind is best?), experiences, stories, ideas... please share!
 
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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 4:36:10 AM   
Taik


Posts: 307
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline 		We use them just because it makes clean up easier. Just peel it off and rinse a little. If you're not worried about cleaning up easy, then I don't see why you can't skip them. It's a monogamous relationship and you're both clean, so I can't think of a reason to.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 6:46:44 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Even though STD-free, a urinary tract infection is a possibility due to bacteria normally present.
 
Non-lubricated condoms are available, though vastly outnumbered by the lubricated variety.
 
Tasha

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 6:59:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		For me, yes, condoms are necessary for any sort of penis insertion.

But, if you've both gone through the testing process, and you both are completely monogamous and you both really trust eachother to stay that way, it might be a reasonable risk for you to take.  Though I find it odd that this is something you're planning on for a first meeting.

I always base my sexual limits practices on MY behavior, I just don't need the stress of wondering about others and case by case issues.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 5/11/2006 7:00:08 AM >

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 7:04:33 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		If you're both totally, perfectly safe it's ok. 

But if you're both first-timers at it, go REALLY slowly and make sure she's ready - a small vibe inserted for a few minutes works well for easing the way.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 7:13:55 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Two books: Anal Pleasure and Health and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.

Even if there are no STDs present most authorities recommend condoms for anal insertion and I have noticed a significant increase in the use of condoms for anal play in porn movies in the last five or so years.

What lubricant?  The one you aren't allergic to.  I prefer silicone based ones but if you use a water based lube, you might want to keep a hand sprayer handy.  The anus is hydrophylic so water bases lubes get sticky when used there faster than when used in the vagina.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 7:15:25 AM   
darq


Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline 		Well, I have a question ...

Is your cock the size of her finger?

If its not, you're going to need to get her a bit more relaxed before you try to stick that bad boy in ...

Anal sex, if done properly, feels *AWESOME* ... If its done wrong, like trying to stick a cock where it won't quite fit yet, it hurts and generally isn't much fun unless your girl is a masochist. As a health care professional, you should know this anyway ...

As far as condoms being absolutely neccessary ... Get tested.  See the test results. If everyone is negative and you still feel totally comfortable with it, I reckon you're old enough to make your own decision.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 7:19:05 AM   
alwayshis


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		im not in health care, but from my reading, if you want to go from anal to other aspects, you need a condom.  if you do not use one, you need to wash before you go to oral or vaginal.  you can get urinary tract infections, among other things, if you go from anal to vaginal without cleaning.  just my 2 cents

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 9:01:59 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		I'm single, so I use condoms...should I have sex with anybody.  If I'm in a live-in relationship with someone I...I don't use them at all.

What I'm curious about is WHY you are alergic to condoms.  Could it be the germicide or spermicide some use in their lubricant?  Many men (and women) are sensitive to that stuff... 

If you decide to use condoms, try the ones without Nonoxynol-9, which seems to be the biggest culprit with regard to irritation.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 10:28:42 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay; then lube, lube, lube; followed by, take your time.

Spend time relaxing her, oral works wonders to relax that area and to get her in that 'zone' where things will be relaxed and not as difficult or painfull. Take it slow, this isn't a race and since both of you are anal virgins, let this be a learning and bonding expereince for the both of you.

No need to use a condom, unless you want too. You can find some that are not made out of latex, if you are worried about that. Suggestion, make it a 'last stop' when you are having sex, a warm washcloth after its all over for both of you or a hot couple's  shower is a nice way to cap things off.  

Since she is already that far into things, it should not be a hard transition; you can always try using butt plugs [start with small and work her up way up slowly until she is able to relax and its comfortable] to streatch her a bit and to teach the muscles to relax if you want to take things slow. It can take a week to several for her to work her way up to the large or to having you inside of her.

I have had some very bad expereinces before one man [he knows who he is], got me so relaxed that at the end of our weekend together I was begging and desiring it [according to him]. After that weekend, I was hooked. Now its an obsession at times.

Good luck.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 11:26:01 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I would only not wear one if there was a monogomous M/s relationship that was ongoing. Other then that exception, I would always cover up the hitch before backing the trailer on to it.......I hope that didn't sound Assniine? winks, Kevin

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 12:37:29 PM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Though I find it odd that this is something you're planning on for a first meeting.

Butt, butt, butt!
It's our second meeting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
If you're both totally, perfectly safe it's ok. 

Hmm, so far, this seems to be the concensus.  And yes, we're both completely healthy and disease free.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
I prefer silicone based ones...

Okay, thank you for your input.  (No, that's not meant as a bad pun... )

quote:

ORIGINAL: darq
Is your cock the size of her finger?
If its not, you're going to need to get her a bit more relaxed before you try to stick that bad boy in ...

Understood!  She may be a masochist but I don't think pain there is exactly either our ideas of a good time.  And no, my cock isn't the size of her finger.    I only mentioned that to give people "all" the known variables for our situation, ie: she's definitely turned on by anal and wants to have me there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
If you decide to use condoms, try the ones without Nonoxynol-9, which seems to be the biggest culprit with regard to irritation.

Good suggestion, thanks.  I do believe it IS the Nonoxynol-9.  Terrible, terrible pain after being in contact with it.  It seems to "get up in there" if you know what I mean.  I have avoided anything with it for a few years now, and when I researched alternatives, was basically told "there really aren't any".  So un-lubricated non-spermicide condoms would be the way to go, if I were to use one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
Spend time relaxing her, oral works wonders to relax that area and to get her in that 'zone' where things will be relaxed and not as difficult or painfull. Take it slow, this isn't a race and since both of you are anal virgins, let this be a learning and bonding expereince for the both of you.

Yes, definitely plan to start slow, use lube, and work her up to it.  As much as I'm sure she would gladly welcome a forceful attack (until it actually happened), I'm not going to do so.  I want her screaming from pleasure, not "OMFG! HELP ME, I'M DYING!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
...a hot couple's shower is a nice way to cap things off.

We love showering together so this would definitely be the plan.  And like someone else mentioned above, if doing anal without a condom, you have to wash before doing anything else anyway.

What do people think about starting with regular sex for a while, to get both of us worked up, relaxed, and in the groove... and then start anal play?  I notice when she's on webcam sometimes about "half way" she'll start letting her fingers "accidentally" go there... hehe.

Thanks for the replies so far - I'd love to hear more!

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 2:33:23 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

What do people think about starting with regular sex for a while, to get both of us worked up, relaxed, and in the groove... and then start anal play?


You certainly can't go wrong with that approach.  Just take your time, and like others have said....lube.  How does she feel about butt plugs or a dildo there (don't forget the lube here too)?  Those can be used to start stretching her a bit, while you play with the regular sex foreplay stuff.  Just a suggestion.

spelling edit


< Message edited by KatyLied -- 5/11/2006 2:34:42 PM >

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 3:07:02 PM   
Badkitty0810


Posts: 223
Joined: 2/18/2006
From: NH
Status: offline 		Granted, you both may be disease free but that doesn't prevent bacteria from her anus getting pushed up inside your urethra. That can cause a urinary tract infection which is highly unpleasant. For that reason alone, I'd advise you to use a condom. Probably the only way to go without is if she's cleaned herself out with an enema first.

As for lube, good ole Astroglide works for me.

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 3:30:32 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
If you decide to use condoms, try the ones without Nonoxynol-9, which seems to be the biggest culprit with regard to irritation.

Good suggestion, thanks.  I do believe it IS the Nonoxynol-9.  Terrible, terrible pain after being in contact with it.  It seems to "get up in there" if you know what I mean.  I have avoided anything with it for a few years now, and when I researched alternatives, was basically told "there really aren't any".  So un-lubricated non-spermicide condoms would be the way to go, if I were to use one. 


Your welcome.  I'm not sure if I understood what you meant...but there ARE condoms without the germicide.  Go to Google and search "condoms + Nonoxynol-9 + sale"  You'll find both information and places to order them online...should you be interested!   LOL

Have fun...

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 5:27:28 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, Nonoxynol-9 is a known irritant.

Not to hijack the thread and open another can of worms, but almost everyone tests positive for some form of Herpes. The tests used to be hard to come by, but are now slightly more available. I doubt you two tested for that because for both of you to be Herpes free would go against the odds. Should you choose to be tested for Herpes, my guess is one or both of you will have it as somewhere between 50-90% of all adults in the U.S. have it (esp. simplex 1) - I assume the same figures for Canada. What I get from that percentage is that if one of you is actually negative for Herpes attempting to pursue only Herpes free individuals is a joke as you would be limiting yourself to some 10-50% of the adult population, most of whom may or may not have it and may or may not even know about it as asymptomatic carriers. Your best bet is maybe to find out and then take precautions should you deem them necessary. Oral herpes is what most everyone has and protecting yourself against it is like saying you will not have oral contact with the carrier - so no kissing, no oral sex, etc. It's a real pickle...

I will now shut the fuck up.



< Message edited by Chaingang -- 5/11/2006 5:30:20 PM >

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 7:21:42 PM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
How does she feel about butt plugs or a dildo there (don't forget the lube here too)?  Those can be used to start stretching her a bit, while you play with the regular sex foreplay stuff.

She'd go for it if I wanted her to, although our time together is in about 3 weeks, and she's got no access to sex toy shops (too young) and there's no time for me to mail her something.  We could buy something together and play with it before actual penetration, but that hardly seems worth it.  I think a plug is a better idea for real-time couples.  Thanks though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Badkitty0810
Granted, you both may be disease free but that doesn't prevent bacteria from her anus getting pushed up inside your urethra.

So.... bums are dirty?  Okay...... thanks for the tip!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang
Not to hijack the thread and open another can of worms, but almost everyone tests positive for some form of Herpes. The tests used to be hard to come by, but are now slightly more available. I doubt you two tested for that because for both of you to be Herpes free would go against the odds. Should you choose to be tested for Herpes, my guess is one or both of you will have it as somewhere between 50-90% of all adults in the U.S. have it (esp. simplex 1) - I assume the same figures for Canada. What I get from that percentage is that if one of you is actually negative for Herpes attempting to pursue only Herpes free individuals is a joke as you would be limiting yourself to some 10-50% of the adult population, most of whom may or may not have it and may or may not even know about it as asymptomatic carriers. Your best bet is maybe to find out and then take precautions should you deem them necessary. Oral herpes is what most everyone has and protecting yourself against it is like saying you will not have oral contact with the carrier - so no kissing, no oral sex, etc. It's a real pickle...

Like I said in the OP, I'm a medical professional.  Your information is misplaced and incorrect.  "Just about everybody" doesn't have herpes.  Additionally, my girl was a virgin before we got together and had not even kissed another person.  I indeed have been tested, even though there's almost no possible way I could have contracted herpes.  Lastly, condoms are known to be only 50% effective in preventing herpes transmission, so I'm not sure what you're getting at here anyway.  Don't worry - neither of us have herpes, but thanks for your concern! 

< Message edited by CanadianGuy -- 5/11/2006 7:22:26 PM >

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 9:05:55 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_virus

"Also, since 60-90% of the population is seropositive for HSV-1..."

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 9:22:05 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Taking you at your word, I would say condoms are unnecessary in your case.   I would still think condoms a good idea for the ease of cleaning after the fact, and because it's not impossible for you to get an urinary tract infection from anally penetrating her without a barrier.    M

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RE: anal sex and condoms - 5/11/2006 10:27:56 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy

Yes, definitely plan to start slow, use lube, and work her up to it.  As much as I'm sure she would gladly welcome a forceful attack (until it actually happened), I'm not going to do so.  I want her screaming from pleasure, not "OMFG! HELP ME, I'M DYING!"


Hey, have you been reading my off-site blog, how did you know that I have said that before. Having someone 'attack' my ass without being prepared hurts like hell. That's one reason why I gave up onit for so long, until someone came along and 'eased' me into it and got me to relax, then it didn't hurt and was very very enjoyable. I will admit, when I was 'attacked' I did take a swing at the jurk who didn't give me any warning and was overly aggressive, I thought I was splitting in half. It hurt almost as much as giving birth.

quote:

What do people think about starting with regular sex for a while, to get both of us worked up, relaxed, and in the groove... and then start anal play?  I notice when she's on webcam sometimes about "half way" she'll start letting her fingers "accidentally" go there... hehe.


Regular sex is a great way to both of you relaxed and connected. That way her body is relaxed and when you 'start' she won't tense up, thats what can make things painfull. Sounds like she is already relaxed with the idea, soon she will be like some of us, she will go into subspace, fun stuff.

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