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RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:37:10 AM   
DemonAngelSW2010


Posts: 36
Joined: 4/22/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:




Of course, again, this may only be my view on it.


It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps.



Ok if I was feeling particularly bitchy and childish today I could go back to the whole thing where you totally got on people's cases for shortening your quote since that is what you just did to mine. However, I just don't feel like doing that so...

No, it really doesn't help since she did not mention her husband, you dragged him into it still...which was the whole point of that post that you are quoting one section of. Again you still could have only involved her, you didn't. Therefor you were still doing exactly what I said.

Then again I think this whole thread is rather bogus since it seems to be built on the assumption that just because your relationships work a certain way that everyone else's must too... but hey I enjoy watching it for now.


_____________________________

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(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:37:35 AM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:


To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one?


Because they are not normal? amirite?

...they would want a 'normal' relationship because they were 'not normal'?

I think you've got muddled somewhere.


Um, no... Read it again.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:39:45 AM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:




Of course, again, this may only be my view on it.


It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps.



Ok if I was feeling particularly bitchy and childish today I could go back to the whole thing where you totally got on people's cases for shortening your quote since that is what you just did to mine. However, I just don't feel like doing that so...

No, it really doesn't help since she did not mention her husband, you dragged him into it still...which was the whole point of that post that you are quoting one section of. Again you still could have only involved her, you didn't. Therefor you were still doing exactly what I said.

Then again I think this whole thread is rather bogus since it seems to be built on the assumption that just because your relationships work a certain way that everyone else's must too... but hey I enjoy watching it for now.



I disagree and think you misunderstand with much of your post. I'm glad you're enjoying this thread though. :)

(in reply to DemonAngelSW2010)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:41:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

That then begs the question:  how are you defining normal?


Obviously he's defining it as anyone who doesn't have what he has, a relationship that doesn't satisfy him because he's got too many issues to have a healthy, mutually satisfactory one.

Basically he's defining normal as being abnormal.

I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I'm done feeding this troll.


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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:42:15 AM   
DemonAngelSW2010


Posts: 36
Joined: 4/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:


To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one?


Because they are not normal? amirite?

...they would want a 'normal' relationship because they were 'not normal'?

I think you've got muddled somewhere.


Um, no... Read it again.


Nah, I think they had the right idea the first time. You got muddled somewhere. If someone enjoys a D/s, M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic over a normal one then they aren't going to care if their relationship is considered normal. Again you are basing this off your own issue. If you don't like D/s, M/s or DD/lg then stay away from it. Don't come to a site with these things if you are just going to hate on it. It really is quite simple. If you want more structure in your life, I'm sure the military would be happy to oblige. Then again, I'm sure you will have some kind of snappy come back for that suggestion as well.

_____________________________

"Do you think I've gone round the bend?" - Alice

"I'm afraid so. You're mad, bonkers, off your head but I'll tell you a secret...all the best people are." - Alice's Father

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:47:21 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:




Of course, again, this may only be my view on it.


It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps.



No, sad to say you are doing a bit of creative interpretation there... assuming insult when none is intended.

So, as it turns out you don't really sub, do you?
You bottom.

You find no joy in serving a dominant partner, it is just the sensation you crave from time to time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A lot of people have partners who can't satisfy their BDSM desires.  There's no shame in it.  No fault of hers that she's not the Domme you want.

Have you had her read "When Someone You Love is Kinky"?



Ha, again why would anyone who can have a normal relationship want a domme or dom except as roleplay? It would be ludicrously wearing.



To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one?



Because they are not normal? amirite?


Ummmm.... no.
(Hint: I did just explain all this and was quite nice about it.)

A quick question that I am puzzled about: if your girlfriend is so fulfilling in your mostly vanilla bedroom, then why are you here looking?
That is what your profile does currently indicate.

Do you even know what it is you are looking for, aside from a non-pro domme?

Perhaps if you got your girlfriend the book you wouldn't need to look outside your relationship for it (whatever it it is that you are seeking).

edit: clarity

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/27/2011 5:09:07 AM >

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(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 5:09:32 AM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:




Of course, again, this may only be my view on it.


It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps.



No, sad to say you are doing a bit of creative interpretation there... assuming insult when none is intended.

So, as it turns out you don't really sub, do you?
You bottom.

You find no joy in serving a dominant partner, it is just the sensation you crave from time to time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A lot of people have partners who can't satisfy their BDSM desires.  There's no shame in it.  No fault of hers that she's not the Domme you want.

Have you had her read "When Someone You Love is Kinky"?



Ha, again why would anyone who can have a normal relationship want a domme or dom except as roleplay? It would be ludicrously wearing.



To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one?



Because they are not normal? amirite?


Ummmm.... no.
(Hint: I did just explain all this and was quite nice about it.)

A quick question that I am puzzled about: if your girlfriend is so fulfilling in your mostly vanilla bedroom, then why are you here looking?
That is what your profile does currently indicate.

Do you even know what it is you are looking for, aside from a non-pro domme?

Perhaps if you got your girlfriend the book you wouldn't need to look outside your relationship for it (whatever it it is that you are seeking).

edit: clarity


No one is looking, my profile is old and needs changing.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 5:21:35 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Been married for 26 years(vanilla) and in a BDSM relationship for 13 with two different chaps, I adore his wife too,
Take that as you please



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(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 5:28:58 AM   
PetiteOralSub


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/21/2010
Status: offline 		The word NORMAL always draws my eye,
and out of curiosity I must come see what the hub-bub is.
I usually see this word a a part of some close minded or labeling or ignorant (the true definition of the word) statement.
And I was not disappointed again.

BDSM is normal for some people, vanilla is normal for some people.
Normal is a useless term in reference to generalities about human beings that cannot be verified by statistical analysis.
Amost annoying word!

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Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 5:48:52 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010

why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one?



Because they are not normal? amirite?


Who is to say what is "normal"?

You have a profile in which you are (or were) seeking a dominant woman, dominant couple, or a poly household.  All while also maintaining a vanilla relationship with a woman who you seem averse to introducing to kink because it would somehow make her abnormal.  Just how normal does that sound?

Frankly, it sounds to me like someone who has internal conflicts that they need to deal with.

BTW, your writing style and the way that you argue sounds strangely familiar.  In fact, you are extremely reminiscent of someone who has had multiple incarnations on this site.  But of course, that's just a coincidence. 

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 5:56:49 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

PhilSlave,

Let me attempt to enlighten you.

1. Take everything you know about day to day LIFE (hold those thoughts for a moment).

2. Take everything you think you know about BDSM (hold those thoughts for moment).

3. Now merge these two thoughts together and you will have REALITY. ;^)





You see as someone who wonders if we are merely a 3D hologram of 2D Space/time, I have issues with this.
Whether this is true or not doesn't make it any less of a pain in the ass does it?

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 6:18:49 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

That then begs the question:  how are you defining normal?


Obviously he's defining it as anyone who doesn't have what he has, a relationship that doesn't satisfy him because he's got too many issues to have a healthy, mutually satisfactory one.

Basically he's defining normal as being abnormal.

I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I'm done feeding this troll.

Phil, nobody can resolve your mixed emotions for you, that's reality, holographic projection or otherwise.

If you're trying to make it logical, you're pissing up a rope: emotion is not logic, it isn't required to display consistency, one can and does often entertain two completely opposite emotions, and it doesn't make either of them any less valid, you can do that because it's not... logic.

To satisfy emotions, you have to satisfy them or learn to live with not having them satisfied, that's it, and although you may employ logic to this end, the end result need not be logical from any external point of view,  because it reflects a subjective existential, hermetic, emotional need - even if the need is to put your emotions on the back burner.

< Message edited by xssve -- 5/27/2011 6:19:46 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 6:50:35 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		 
What is vanilla smile,I have been in this ls since the age of 15 a few few vanilla relationships,I am in one now with a beautiful young woman and yes its hard to keep from grabbings her by the hair and dragging her to my cave,Some can switch between vanilla and bdsm relationships with ease but to admit the truth it is hard for me..Bounty

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Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 8:19:54 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

BTW, your writing style and the way that you argue sounds strangely familiar.  In fact, you are extremely reminiscent of someone who has had multiple incarnations on this site.  But of course, that's just a coincidence. 



Exactly. Which is why I just won't even bother taking the time and effort for a serious discussion with the putz.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 8:52:53 AM   
diablarosa


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I find I migrate to bdsm after vanilla relationships because I desire structure for a while with less emotion. Is this what BDSM is?


I don't know what bdsm really is... its a huge effin mess that's like, one click away from "freaky" vanilla sexcapades. it's a meaningless term for me. FYI, I can find and cope with vanilla relationships just fine... they just bore the shit out of me.

And as far as less emotion, well, I'm not sure what planet you're on there.

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 2:48:24 PM   
TheCabal


Posts: 291
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: Lots of different places
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Because they are not normal? amirite?


What's "normal"? 

I'm sure there are a very few boring, uncreative, dull-witted, anti-social, simple people out there without any real kinks at all.  Probably working as accountants or engineers or somesuch.  However, most people (indeed humans as a species) are complex - and that includes their sexual desires.  Most repress these kinks, either because they can't face themselves, or because they're afraid to share them with their partner because of the possibility of rejection. 

Once this is understood, it becomes clear that BDSM is a normal, healthy activity.  And that means those who consider it abnormal are either a) very dull, or b) completely out of touch with themselves. 

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 3:20:56 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships?

Does a vegetarian find sustenance in sinking their teeth into a delicious zuchini
instead of a t-bone steak simply because they can't work out the utensils?

Actually, I believe a relationship with any BDSM dynamic in it takes much
more effort to sustain it as a happy one, as opposed to most vanilla ones.



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Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/27/2011 4:46:13 PM   
popularDemand


Posts: 228
Status: offline 		works for me

pD

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Small talk stinks.

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Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/28/2011 9:39:41 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		It's just not worth getting into it with someone who's after his own agenda and won't pay attention to what anyone else tells him.  And the thread is fun to read, but it's got nothing to do with you, it's with the other people who are posting and seeing everything go whoooooooooooooooosh right over your head.

'Nuff said. 


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Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with no... - 5/29/2011 3:06:50 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		Look, I understand your protests, I really do. In the words of the bard "methinks though dost protest too much". On the subject of what is normal... That really doesn't have to be explained as most people realise equality is normal for the majority of people.

Guys who keep trying to make this about me.. It's not about me.... It's about you. I explained my position in the op. I get you want to read more into it to justify yourselves.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 120
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