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House Rules - 11/2/2011 7:54:24 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		Here's a  working list of "House rules" I've had since the first time I invited a woman to live with me; about a decade ago. Since then, she left and two others have come and gone, all stuck around for 2-3 years (yes I know it's a pattern, I'll address that in later posts) Let me know your thoughts.  
 
My promise to you

I am here for you, to adore and endure you.

I will stay curious and discover any way I can make your life better.

You mean more to me than any metaphor can express.

I am a poor communicator when I am stressed, but I’m working on it.

You have a space in my heart that will never grow cold.

I invited you to live with me because I love you deeply.

I intend to give you a happy, healthy and safe place to live.

I will stay curious and open minded about your mental and physical needs.

I will communicate honestly and openly with you.

I will help make this space a home for us.

Our Quality time

Make sure music, food and drink are ready for my homecoming.

Express yourself openly, but always respectfully.

Request permission to leave when you have need, make lip to skin contact if granted.
“May I go pee”, “May I go to work”, “May I check on dinner”

Your Binder

Keep your binder in the middle drawer beneath the fish tank.

Write titles and guides in block letters.

Write content in script.

Practice exceedingly neat and elegant penmanship.

Illuminate  each page after I review it’s content.

Type and email me each page of content.

Keep a list of Home Rules.

Journal daily, 250 word minimum.

Keep an evolving section of best practices that we make up together.

Your Communication

Speak freely, but respectfully.

Observe courtesies in all phone and written communication with me.
“only if it pleases you”, “not unless it pleases you”,  “your obedient servant”, etc

Lips to foot, verbally surrender your mind and body each morning.
“I love you -------. My body and mind are yours. Your wish is my command.”

Grant me all that is yours each morning.
“As I am yours, all that is mine is yours.”

Your Correction

Recognize that I am correcting behavior, not the inner you that I’ve grown to love.

If my correction causes physical or emotional distress, express this in a respectful manner.

Bear corrections with grace and dignity.

Your Dress and Hygiene

Shave your body daily

Wear a red bracelet on your left wrist when menstruating.

Wear a brown bracelet on your left wrist when you are having colon trouble.

House clothes have an open bottom, no panties unless menstruating

No street clothes beyond the curtains unless company is present

Paint all your nails the same.

Mark “POMS” on your body daily.

Your Household duties

No dirty dishes left overnight.

No garbage in the home overnight.

Do laundry as soon as there is a full load.

Hang our next days apparel out the night before.

Write the next days weather forecast on the bathroom mirror in dry erase.

Tables, counters and floors are clean and clutter free before bed.

Keep a grocery list on the refrigerator.

Plan meals in advance.

Make the bed each morning.

Iron my clothes immediately after wear (if not soiled) or wash.

Make coffee each morning. Pour one cup and one thermos full.

Your sexual duties

Find ways to stay curious.

Maintain absolute availability.

Maintain fidelity, whatever we decide that means.

Recognize the cycle of our sex drives as they rise and fall.

Offer oral sex more than twice daily.

Attempt good morning and good night, blow-jobs daily.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:03:43 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		There would have to be an enormous increase in what you provide to begin to get me to consider what you would expect provided for you.
Before you take offense, remember, you asked.


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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to revmick82)
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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:09:12 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		This was actually an issue with the 2nd girl living under the list. Though she could not articulate. There was also a contract and the best practices section of the binder, those included more of my duties. Think of this as the executive summary or a stand in for a lease.

Can you be more specific what you would need? 

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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:09:35 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		this seems really complicated. at the same time, though, i'm fascinated by people who make this kind of seeming complexity work.

a guy posted a similarly complex list of rules for dishwashing on the Domestic Servitude group on Fetlife -- i imagine if your list is so complex, you are equally patient when it comes to the other person learning the ropes?
how do you keep this from becoming stagnant and mechanical? i would rather say "i love you and i'm yours" to someone because i mean it and feel it, not because it's in a list of rules i'm supposed to follow.

This sounds like a stay-at-home situation; I don't think a working woman would have time for all of this. It does seem like if you have such lofty expectations, you must offer something pretty big in return.


< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/2/2011 8:10:09 PM >

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:14:55 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		The patience while training is part of the fun. This is an all inclusive list. If she's working lots get's subtracted from the list. If she wasn't, most stayed. There were very mechanical parts to all three relationships. But overall, novelty seeking and exploration was the rule. 

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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:17:38 PM   
lelloy


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/11/2011
From: One end to the other, US
Status: offline 		A bit too high protocol and I'm afraid I have to agree with Aynne88.

Also, while I recognize most would probably disagree with me, I think it's a bit unreasonable to pre-determine sexual practice and frequency without taking into consideration each individual partner. To me that says you're hand-patterning a desired fantasy lifestyle more than a sustainable living arrangement.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:25:59 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		I tend to favor protocol (military experience). This was the version the last girlfriend lived under. Details changed with each person. The fantasy is vaguely 1950s. The execution has varied wildly.

(in reply to lelloy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:27:28 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I'm sorry but, the day my relationship gets put into a binder is the day it's no longer a relationship. It seems more like a job.
I talk to him like a normal person. I interact with him like a normal person.
And yet we've managed to make a power exchange work...like normal people and not like citizens of Castle Realm.



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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:28:09 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		I read the list and see basically a 1 sided want list and do me list. Nothing in that list describes a happy relationship between 2 people.

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:31:32 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		And the brown bracelet thingy is really weird.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:33:11 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		It was basically a want's list in all three instances.

"Hey can I move in?"
"I don't know, I like my privacy and you XYZ"
"What would it take"
"Well let's make a list"
"Ok, but I want some items on that list too, to keep it fair"
"Ok, what do you want?"
"Deal?"
"Deal!"

(in reply to mummyman321)
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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:37:12 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		too complicated and busy for me.

We just interact like two normal human beings with the exception that what he says goes. If I had to follow all of that we'd never have time to have any fun.

Why not just try being a couple and letting things flow naturally? How do you keep up all day long with that long a list??



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:40:29 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		She never moved in officially before the relationship was six months to a year old. Over that time I'd very genitally coach an item or two at a time until it became a habit. The transition to a formal list was never a huge challenge since we were already basically living it.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:43:27 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: revmick82

genitally coach



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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:44:16 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		If possible, can we move past value judgements (too long, lopsided, don't like numbers) and move toward ways to improve the concept (don't let her move in that quick, I'd want you to do XYZ and ABC before I'd agree to that, do your relationships fail for reason DEF?)

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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:47:38 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		No really, I don't want someone who in not on board, carrying a hot pot of coffee near my sleeping head, or blowing me, or signing on in the 1st place. 

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:50:06 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		As I read your list, I'm thinking "Where's the spontaneity?" And the asking for permission thing....not so much for me.

Maybe it's not very subby of me, but your communication section would get old too. Constantly saying those things, and calling someone Master, or your title of choice, would just be something meaningless after a while. It's like saying "I love you" to excess.....after a while, they are simply words that are said out of habit, not out of the emotion. You will know that I am committed not by my words, but by actions.

The journal is a good idea, however, handwriting it out and then having to e-mail it to you is a bit excessive. I myself have kept one in the past and it's been great for opening up avenues of communication. And if you truly do welcome open communication betwen you and her, then kudos! It's one thing to say it, but again, words are easy, actions are the real test.

The weather report on the mirror got a pretty good sized *snort*.....big enuf to startle the cats! C'mon, really???? You can't look out a window? Weather.com?

I'm sure that your list has worked for you, but as far as me, I'm with Aynne. You'd have to fall into the expectations of my list also. Too many men I've interacted with at various levels have had lists and rules, but let me mention anything about what MY expextations are, and suddenly, I'm a bad sub. If being happy in a relationship makes me selfish, well, then, I move on.....this IS a two way street!

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:50:58 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		what kind of discussion are you looking to have about this? you posted a complicated list of rules, but you want us to comment on how you can improve on your situation? you're moving in too quickly with people? well... don't do that. =p
only the person who is potentially accepting these rules and moving in with you can make an offer of exchange... we're random people from across the globe. i'm not sure what you want...?


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:52:42 PM   
revmick82


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline 		That and conditioning does not work so well if you know you're being conditioned. So some things have to be subtle. You're right though, some other things do need a strong hand.:)

(in reply to revmick82)
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RE: House Rules - 11/2/2011 8:52:58 PM   
ummmmNo


Posts: 100
Joined: 11/21/2010
Status: offline 		It seems like a working arrangement and not a relationship.

Also, why can't she just tell you she has a period or colon problems? A bracelet? Really? You're a grown heterosexual man, you know that women menstruate.

(in reply to revmick82)
Profile   Post #: 20
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