My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 6:35:59 PM)

AND....there's some Russian chick that REALLY fucking wants me.

(I've seen her picture and she has some really nice titties).

Anyway....I may be away for a while....seeing as how I can make my dick bigger (by "47%"...with nominal effort).

So all you chics that might be offering me something "Grand".....lemme tell you sumpin....I have emails that blow your fucking doors off......you ain't got shit.

My dick is going to be HUUUUUUUGE (it costs $29.95.....a fairly nominal amount, all things considered)....AND.....these chics from Russia are HOT (several have written to me PERSONALLY......yeah....that's right....they want me....).

So.....here's the deal.....I may be gone for a while because....

A:  My dick is going to be (shortly....poor choice of words but)....HUUUUUUUGE....and....

B:  These Russian chics are hot and they TOTALLY fucking want me.

(And you think I'm just being sotted up in all this....no....I know what's going on......check it out.....gonna have a Huuuuuuge dick....and....hot FOREIGN chics want a 53 year old, balding guy.....yerrr gawwwwdamn right).

(Oh....I forgot....my mortgage rate is going to drop to negative 40% {they're fucking paying me to borrow money}...and if you think I'm gonna miss out on that well.....).

I'll be back later.

Life is good.

J



LadyHibiscus -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 6:48:48 PM)

WHERE IS MY CAPYBARA??



ShaharThorne -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 7:09:13 PM)

I WANT MY WINECOOLER (and Santa under the tree)!!!



LookieNoNookie -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 7:13:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

WHERE IS MY CAPYBARA??


Fucking whiners.



Hillwilliam -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 7:15:30 PM)

Be careful about those penis enlargement programs you buy on the internet.

I paid $29.95 for some black paint and a magnifying glass.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 7:55:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Be careful about those penis enlargement programs you buy on the internet.

I paid $29.95 for some black paint and a magnifying glass.


You bought the bullshit stuff...this is the real deal.

It's a vacujack......you just keep pumping the thing (inside the Plexiglas case) until your dick is the size of a small mansion within 2 or 3 blocks of Rodeo Drive.

I've heard some horrible things happening.....blood splattered all over the wall....guy (well....actually....corpse) sitting there with eyes wide open....dead....(somewhat embarrassing if it's your staff that finds you).

But I'm careful.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 7:57:58 PM)

Catz. Just saying.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 8:03:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Catz. Just saying.


I haven't seen that show....I apologize....but I need to focus on the hot Russian chics.....I need to give my all (which, I might add, has grown to exponential proportions).



OttersSwim -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 8:49:06 PM)

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico, so there...



tolovetolaugh -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 8:49:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico, so there...


Why are you bigoted against cavemen?



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 9:08:15 PM)

This thread is funny. [sm=rofl.gif] And I just updated my profile.



Rule -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 10:30:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
....I may be away for a while....seeing as how I can make my dick bigger (by "47%"...with nominal effort).

....my mortgage rate is going to drop to negative 40%

Life will be even better if you manage to drop all of them dots in your posts as well. Let me know if ever you succeed and I will lift the by me soon to applied Hide from your posts.



Termyn8or -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 11:20:24 PM)

I = interest

I= penis inches ^6/3.3-21+X^2/0+1 X 0 + prime or LIBOR plus spread.

See how simple math can be ?

T^T



MadAxeman -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/28/2011 11:36:19 PM)

I got a spam asking if I wanted my penis to be 12"
Am not folding it in half for anyone.



Termyn8or -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/29/2011 12:01:38 AM)

Twenty four ? You're in luck.

24/Y=EADGBE.

T^T



outlier -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/29/2011 12:18:01 AM)

Well,  Are you sure your too small?
You can go here and check  Penis Size Map

Do you drive one of these? 

[image]local://upfiles/186959/6D97157D557B454AA973D03B02671241.jpg[/image]



MadAxeman -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/29/2011 12:28:54 AM)

At least you're in tune Termy.
I can't drive outlier.
Not easy when you need a wheelbarrow just to walk anywhere.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/29/2011 2:12:55 AM)

Can't you get the russian girls and penis enlargement in a package deal? I saw an offer of only 127 small payments of $19.95 - that's a good deal!



GimpinDenial -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/29/2011 3:14:04 AM)

That's ok... Soon, I'm going to be a multi-millionaire.

Yup, my buddy Fahrid from South Africa has hooked me up with this sweet deal
I already paid the 2k in taxes and now I am just waiting for the cash to flow on in to my bank account.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: My penis is too small, I'm paying far too much for my mortgage.... (11/29/2011 3:18:32 AM)

I'm waiting on my winnings from the online Australopithican Lottery. Alls I had to do was pay a little fee for validation and currency exchange! Lucky me! I don't even remember entering!



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