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Poloboi234 -> About being a Straight Domme/public private life (11/29/2012 6:07:03 PM)
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Hey, to all.
I have been interested in the BDSM lifestyle for the last couple of years, and have done a lot of reading and research (here, books, etc...) but I am a bit strange when it comes to the dynamics of BDSM (r0les of people).
I have always been a dominate type guy, even when I was younger leader of the group etc... I had a different type of perspective as I just liked to "Dominate Males" mainly straight males, (Gay etc...) I have a different take on this as I have studied human sexuality, write and am trying to understand the psychology of it. Which I feel that many of my "subs" have liked it.
My first question of advice and just questions of the lifestyle are these. If I was to get into the S/M Lifestyle (Clubs, events, people etc...) is there a lot of camaraderie within this world? In the sense of honoring a person’s private and personal life to their role within the community? (I know it's on a case to case basis but just a generality of the people). I may be going into a very public field (entertainment) and I don't know if this life style would go well with that situation. (I'm not an actor or anything, just working in the field etc...)
My other question is the thought process and issues surrounding a straight master. I'm straight, I know this. (Have experimented and realized not gay at all, sex with a man doesn't do it for me, or anything of that nature.) But I like to dominate other men. I don't care if my slave is straight or gay, but I prefer a masculine, burly mountain man type slave. (I grew up with many people of this nature, friends, family etc..., Is this strange within the dynamics? Also is it rare to have a Male straight Dom that is into only dominating men? (It doesn't really get me to have sub females,) but I have worked with another sub female, as well as had a sub male that I was there to control.
I try my best to understand the psychology of this lifestyle reading different psychology and sexual desires, fetish and the triggers to give my slave's the exact experience they desire, as well as their fulfillments.
Another question to all the Dom's is that is it hard to have a slave obey request's from long distance, or if they have a
Vanilla lifestyle" to maintain? As this has become an issue with me with many people that request me as there master. I always felt that having the slave submit to me via "chastity" is the perfect way to start the relationship, as well as assert the start of my control and dominance.
I also can't take on any slave, I feel bad that I turn down many slaves that ask for my guidance, but I need a personal connection as well as have to like the physical attribute for me to understand what to do in terms of training the slave. I adhere more with masculine, burly, football player type "straight males" or even Masculine "gay males" (same build) as I know the world they came from, the friends, mannerism, as well as what was humiliating in the straight/jock world to use as trigger's to get them to their "sub space"... I know this was all over the place but I would love some thoughts from some Dom's and advice, as I think I would like to pursue the lifestyle more. (Even though many would never think I was in it)
I would love some advice on my method of "training". I am more a dominant master in a more... I'd say... fun and nice type of way. Let me explain. I look at the Dom/Sub situation with my slaves within the context of middle school/high school or Senior/Freshman, or like things we went through during schooling (U.S.), spanking is more within the context of "Paddling" (haze, frat, football world and role playing) and within that context. I'm not as into the whips, chains, and typical s/m looking or clothing. I more often look at it as long as I can get the same psychological triggers (humiliation, pain, love, jokes etc...) its fun for my slave, as well as reinforces the concepts or area we are going to. I know this is different, but some in S/M are taken "aback" or dare I say "frightened" by the clothing, whips, chains, and more medieval aspects of S/M.(I don't mind it, but I am mainly a Dom, to Masculine straight males). I guess do to the slaves I've had, I kind of tailored scenario’s to what they had been through, and come from. I wish there was more light hearted BDSM movies, or vids with a more "suburban, All American" type feel to it, as I find that many of my slaves want to relieve these fantasies or situations to get them "off" or they were turned on by being the kid that was "Picked on" in the past, or teased or belittled for there "weight" etc... And they missed those days, or have a sexual attraction to those situations.
I find it hard to have some "gay" Slaves. As they want me to eventually get into a sexual situation with them, or get "feelings" for me. (I don't mind the love) but my goal is more of a humiliation, or taking away "manhood" from a masculine male sub, or awakening or feminizing a masculine male. (Which many seem to love, that another man is feminizing them and proclaiming his "Alpha Male" status.) this is what I like and live for. I guess this was all over the place and I apologize if any of you could give me advice on experiences with this, or with the lifestyle, or if you are a Male Dom to a Straight sub, etc... What have you done? What works? Also are they hard to find? I mainly am able to get my straight subs, to perform acts (homo erotic etc...) with other males etc... as I have them so horny, willing to please me, or just to release from chastity that they will perform for my approval, or the ability to watch me with a woman, or to get with a woman or being allowed to mate with their GF or wife etc... I just would like to know if anyone deals with this? As I don't seem to see my scenario, style of role play, or straight male/ straight sub/gay sub etc... Thanks, and I hope all is well...
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