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Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/29/2007 8:33:11 PM   
andyskayla


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		Thread on aftercare got me thinking--if we're busy and he spends five minutes stroking my cheeks and hair, I'm generally together enough to deal with the world, even if I'm not confident and together.  Do you find anything that is quick and effective for those 'too-little-aftercare' moments?
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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/29/2007 8:35:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		For the most part, sure. 

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/29/2007 11:18:13 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Some people are genuanly fine with that kind of aftercare or lack there of and others such as myself simply need more time after to collect ourselfs and come back down to earth. I tend to need physical contact with Master untill Im safely out of subspace and He does generaly know when I have reached that point and usualy with hold me or just keep himself within reach of me for quite a bit longer then that. He usualy waits untill I have had enough.. we have found through trial and error that I am not always able to pull myself back  down to the ground, more so after an intence scene, and lack of after care can lead to days of me not feeling my greates emotionaly. Its a problem that is really rather easily avoided with some snuggle time and reasureing physical contact. Ill be the first to admit that I am more needy in that department then a lot of slaves. So personaly no I need him to be there for me in the aftercare department untill Im fully ok sometimes yes that is only five minuts and in those cases five minuts is all I need befor aftercare can end, but those times that I need more I need more and five minuts is about as useless as none in those cases.. it varries greatly from person to person like I said I am more needy when it comes to aftercare.


Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
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before the devil even knows your there.


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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/29/2007 11:40:03 PM   
smilingjaguar


Posts: 271
Status: offline 		I find aftercare in all but the most extreme circumstances rather irritating.  I went after the pain, I went after the humiliation, and I went after the objectification, so I tend to just soak it up and enjoy it for a while.  It's usually me going after the drink and such.  The only exception is if I really get pushed physically past my breaking point I get the shaking chills and just want to get tucked into a warm bed and told I've made him happy.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 5:59:20 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		It depends on the physical activity and the mindframe it puts me in. 

Generally, stroking my hair, letting me kiss his feet, a gentle makeout session are all things that can ground me more quickly than just a cuddle-for-half-a-hour thing.  I like coming down slowly, but if he chooses to spend five minutes on aftercare I can handle that too.


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"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 6:55:07 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'm typically up and moving around after 5 or 10 minutes. And during that 5 or 10 minutes I dislike anything other than just being held. It distracts me from my "buzz" which I like to just enjoy for a few minutes. Once I'm up and about, the only requirement is that there's a piece of fruit or a cookie nearby. For some reason my blood sugar plummets during a play session. Then I'm a little sub-spacey for a few hours.....and very very happy.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 8:13:54 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you guys want to discuss aftercare, it might help to describe what the scene was first.

2 hours with a bunny flogger is going to require a lot less than 20 minutes of drinking piss from three different men.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 8:19:43 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I am often left exhausted and semi-worthless afterwards.  But whether he hangs out for a long time or leaves right away, I am fine with resting quietly by myself until I am ready to get up and around again.  Recently he had someone attend to me - to bring me water, put the toys away, and massage my feet while I rested.  It was divine!!

For the most part, I just love touching him. Whether it is laying at his feet and rubbing them (a joke of a massage at that point) or suckling from him, or just curling up close enough so that I am touching his body, I am quite content.  Those times I am unable to do that, I go to the place within myself where he resides in me, and find peace there.

In short, I love his attentions afterward, but I am fine with none, either.

(in reply to andyskayla)
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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 9:38:08 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I don't need a lot of aftercare (but i love it) i always need some.  I love laying thet with him curllrd up sgsinrt him while he strokes my back or playes with my hair.  That is all i need to be with him close enough to touch.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 10:12:59 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		It seems to depend greatly on the situation like SimplyMichael mentions. How much adrinealen (sp?) was i dealling with, how far was the push, or was it just a nice night of spanking and nibbling. I also usually don't need after care until the drop which usually doesn't happen the day after. Most the time just a connection is enough. This could be even just a phone call.

Mostly i use self care which is a beautiful LONG walk. It helps me reground and think logically.

< Message edited by CrazyC -- 3/30/2007 10:14:50 AM >

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/30/2007 7:14:35 PM   
Urza


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/8/2005
Status: offline 		a 2 hour long caning session would need possibly more than five minutes aftercare than say a 2 hour long footworship session or mild CBT session.

It's dependant on the session and the individual. Personally i don't need much aftercare, but i appreciate any i get.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 3/31/2007 4:49:31 PM   
sabis


Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline 		my Owner and I don't generally play in public, but when we do, we adjust our scenes significantly, to remove a lot of the sexual element.  When he's worked me over pretty hard, nothing soothes me as much as some small bit of sexual connection. Whenever possible, I'll curl up and snuggle my face on his lap, as near to his crotch as I can politely get, given whatever situation/location we are in. Being able to drink in the scent of his musk, his arousal, his pheremones, is very soothing for me.
 
In His service,
 
~sabis
Owned by Cumulus
 

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/1/2007 5:53:22 AM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		The one thing that means the world to me is to stroke my hair... i only let my other half do that. Once my ex tried to do it & I went for him. Its so personal and it soothes me and makes me feel wanted and reminds me that I am protected & loved.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 12:42:53 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I generally curl up at my Master's feet with my head on his knee for a while.  Sometimes he strokes me hair and other times he ignores me, but allows me to be there.  That is all I really need unless something extreme has occurred.  When I am coherent enough, we often talk about the scene.

(in reply to BoundDragon)
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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 1:22:51 AM   
Rumtiger


Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		I sometimes get brownies, works for me.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 2:13:30 PM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

I generally curl up at my Master's feet with my head on his knee for a while. 


Oh yeah!!! I do that one too!! I just feel so loyal sat there at his feet and within his protection should I need it.

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 5:59:48 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		It depends on what I have to do afterwards. If I have to drive someplace then I'd rather not play if there won't be sufficient time and help in getting me back in shape to be safe behind the wheel. If we're going out together and he's driving, then just get me a cup of hot, sweet tea and a sweater and I'll be able to cope.

(in reply to BoundDragon)
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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 8:50:39 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Although we all know that not receiving aftercare will not kill us..I would tend to look askance upon a Dominant who did not provide that which could after all be a desireable and bonding experience for the both of them..It would in some ways tell me that he cared little for the person that is his submissive...Tempting

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 8:52:00 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To clarify..I mean this in context of a D/s relationship and not temporary "play"..Tempting

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RE: Five-Minute Aftercare? - 4/3/2007 9:09:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		To be honest, we have not scened that hard enough times for me to weigh in . I know I feel differently every time so I cannot generalize. One experience will make me feel needy, another giddy, and still another floaty. I have only dropped once, and more often than not I get very giggly after we are done.. not just for a few minutes either, but for a few hours. God I love that feeling. Once felt like I was floating, and he gently lay me down on his bed, covered me, and let me drift there. He rubbed my limbs and made sure I was ok, but I barely knew he was doing that. On that occasion I bounced back rather quick considering how deep I went into space. So I think that it does not matter what the activity, or the depth of subspace...

...each time is different, each sub is different, and the physiological response is rather unpredictable. I think that we downplay the role of emotions and expectations in how the need for aftercare will manifest itself. In other words, someone that is mindfucked into thinking something will happen may have the same reaction as though it really did. The mind is powerful, and one cannot underestimate how perception will interface with the stark reality. Someone that has very little experience may go deeply into subspace based upon a very light flogging, because the perception of such a person in relation to play is not well formed. The mind is the most erotic part of the body after all.


< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 4/3/2007 9:10:11 PM >

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