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Contracts, again.... - 4/25/2005 10:52:29 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Hey Y'all-
I am currently in negotiations with someone, and as some of you may know, I simply LOVE paperwork. I was wondering if anyone had any documents such as checklists or questionaires that would help me construct our initial contract. (or assist him in doing such)
I've brought it up briefly, and he's been enthusiastic, but I wasn't sure where to begin. I would like to take the initative and have some materials ready. There are a lot of sample contracts on the internet, but they all seem to lean towards the M/s side of things and I feel that this will be more of a D/s relationship with casual protocol. I'm looking for
A- a questionaire, including essay questions perhaps, to help me construct a contract or collaborate on one
and/or
B- a simple, casual contract with low protocol requirements suited towards a new relationship with lots of room to grow

If anyone has any questions, please post.

*looks around for Taggard*

As Always-
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 4:34:50 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think castlerealm.com still has a checklist, or you could always just google "bdsm checklist"

As far as a contract goes "Do what I tell you, unless you really don't want to"

:)

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 4:40:10 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin
I am currently in negotiations with someone, and as some of you may know, I simply LOVE paperwork. I was wondering if anyone had any documents such as checklists or questionaires that would help me construct our initial contract. (or assist him in doing such)


I have some in French only my darling B and you haven't come by for your French lessons yet ;)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 6:02:22 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, I would suggest you sit down with a blank sheet of paper.

Then ask yourself questions such as; do i want this to be a short term agreement that we have the opportunity to discuss at a specific time, or open ended agreement...

Secondly, what do you want out of this relationship....i have made one agreement such as this...in my agreement, i listed some things I wished to experience and feel with him at some point.

Thirdly, decide how much control and in what parts of your life you want him be a part of...for me, I needed help in organization and fitness goals, in the agreement i gave up control to him for the betterment of me.

I am sure you know what you want out of life...express these desires in the agreement. Also list your expectations of him.

I would also ask that he take a blank sheet a paper and do the same thing about his ideas for the relationship and expectations. If you are giving him control then he can incorporate the two list and form your own individual dynamics. That's what makes agreements and relationships so special....it is all about YOU.

You can incorporate some of the legalistic language that you see on contracts listed on web sites....but it all comes down to ...what is the meaing of a contract or agreement to you and what do you want it to signify? For us it was a blueprint for the relationship.

For me it was a tool to build a foundation that was special ordered for U/us. I will say this relationship that I made the agreement with didnt work out, but at the end of the 90 days which was our terms of the agreement (i would suggest adding introductory time to this, but we already knew each other well) , you can discuss things to see if you should move forward. Our time had a purpose because we knew what each other was really seeking and it was time that was very beneficial. The agreement also ensured by having a time frame that we did walk away as special friends. It also served as a reminder and symbolism that we shared something we both felt important and we were a part of each other. When you sign or agree upon the terms, You are actually saying, I understand the things that are important to you and will honor you by working towards those things, which would make any relationship have a good start. The best part of all, this agreement wouldnt mean anything to anyone else and could not be duplicated into another relationship because it is detailed to your specifics. Always be an original!

I actually wish I had kept this way of thinking in the relationship that I am in now. It probably would have minimized some assumptions on expectations.

Well, I do wish you well on whatever you decide and i wish you success in your newfound relationship.

Respectfully.
Willing2serve1

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 6:07:21 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		A. Bondage.com has pretty extensive profile questions, including essay questions, as well as checklists covering all kinds of different physical activities. It's still free to join there, so you can go make a dummy profile and copy all their questions. (You won't be able to contact anyone over there though--unless you pay.)

B. There are several sample slave contracts online. I don't remember precise sites (because I'm not really into contracts), but if you googled "slave contract" or something like that, I'm sure you'd get some hits.

Lam

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

A- a questionaire, including essay questions perhaps, to help me construct a contract or collaborate on one
and/or
B- a simple, casual contract with low protocol requirements suited towards a new relationship with lots of room to grow


(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 6:40:43 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		Greetings Mz Berlin
The contract held in a M/s or D/s relationship tend to be very personal , however there are some standard things that tend to be in just about every contract.
What does the Sub/ slave give up / not give up - will the slave / sub relinquish all money or property to thier Master/ Mistress and upon the end of the contract will said property be returned to the sub / slave?
slave veto - when do they have the right to use safe words or go against their Master/ Mistress's order.
Agreed upon punishments - again this is very pesonal. So not every punishment works for every sub /slave or may be detrimental to some.
Length of the contract
Others - this can include rules such as the sub/ slave will not seek another Master / Mistress during term of the contract
Termination of Contract - Reasons that a contract can / will be voided and the consequences of the O/one whom breaks the contract.
Signatures of both the Master / Mistress and the sub / slave

I have several old contracts that Ihave helped Friends do, if you wish actual samples I could send them to you .

I wish you the best of luck.
Nika { Phoenix }



(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 8:59:02 AM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Hi MzBerlin,

I have an extensive questionaire that I'm happy to share. You can find it on my "Plea" page at http://mistressfirebdsm.com/FireSphere.htm. It is a word document that you can download. It takes hours to complete it, so it isn't for the faint of heart. LOL A lot of the questions came from a similar topic we had here some time ago. Since then, I've edited and expanded it.

Fire


_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 8:48:39 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		willing2serve-
Thankyou for your insight. I am looking for a casual contract to use as a blueprint, and your suggestions are really helpful.
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 9:04:58 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

willing2serve-
Thankyou for your insight. I am looking for a casual contract to use as a blueprint, and your suggestions are really helpful.
B


I am certainly glad I could help! If you wish I could ask the person I had the agreement with his permission to share this with you through email, if you would like to see more of an example of what I am talking about. I am certain he wont mind. (He is a collarme member too) I do truly believe even though we were not meant to be in a D/s relationship the agreement was a vital part in retaining our friendship.

We also added the feature that we could add, change or delete certain parts during a review period, but after it was signed and agreed upon..he had the final say of any changes.

Again, I wish you the best.

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 9:30:33 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		LordandMaster-
We both have b.com profiles and have filled that out. I was looking for something a little more life-goal and relationship goal oriented.
I googled slave contracts and didn't find anything that suited me. It was all a bit formal for me.
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/26/2005 9:56:15 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		MzBerlin, you've probably seen this before, but the contract that Lawrence posted last year is excellent IMHO:

It's post #16 on this thread:

Master/slave contracts

I just noticed his post was a reply to you LOL.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/27/2005 3:11:41 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		proudsub-
Thank you for pulling that!!
I need to go re-read that thread..
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Contracts, again.... - 4/27/2005 3:12:09 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		still working on my reply to you, Angelika- give me a day or so.
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 13
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