WolfinShadow
Posts: 27
Joined: 11/13/2005
From: twin cities Minnesota
Status: offline
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Well well well , this might be a long one .Myself I see it as a question of Dynamics , Its it tribal ? , Poly? Open? polyamourous? because it really depends on the dynamics of the relationship to describe how others are kept happy. Allow me to explain.
Tribal :My current situation , Sort of like hillary clintons " it takes a villiage to raise a child" people come together for protection , community , a safe place to learn and grow in themselves . we join together to form what I call a pack mentality . this is not a " boy friend/girlfriend Dynamic it is a question of family and community , it involves people who band together for the good of the pack and vicariously themselves . This can involve people who play together or not , even sexual congress, It can involve someone looking for a Safe place to find their opposite number , It can involve Nothing more than someone who needs " life coaching" frokm a circle of friends who will give them differing opinions , this way they can choose their own path with assistance. But each member of the pack knows their place and it is understood, as it is in my interactions that the Alpha Dynamic , I am my mate will not change . Each memebr of the pack recieves as they give so in this way its almost like Communism LOL except you dont give me your paycheck.
the Idea is for people to assist people because they can , not because they will get anything for it , To help each other , Assist each other in finding what they need, desire , want. But like other posters here I want to stress the need for HONESTY , Communication , Honor , truth < very different from honesty> and above all an openess to other peoples feelings and lives.
POLY: You know this is veiwed differently By everyone who uses it , to some ot means sex , to others love , In Leather it Means family , its not so much about the sex which in all honesty seems to be the focus in Het poly , and I dont even want to get into polygamy and mormons LOL I guess what I am saying is Poly relationships get a bad wrap because the wrong people use them for sex . Like tribalism the Idea that Poly involved you loving everyone equally and NOT for sex LOL is the best heart of this Ideal .. yes, people do put asside jealousy and backbiting nd make a sexual poly relationship work , But its WORK!! how do I know because I have tried and failed , a few times to control that situation , I made sucsess also but its not those we remember is it .
I guess what I am saying is when someone says " poly" anything ASK what they mean because I am sure its not what you mean. Same rules apply , My rules , for me , You make up your own thank you very much. But I guess what I am trying to say that its harder to make a unstructured Love triangle work , than it is to make a structured " tribe" or Pack work . I myself use a leather structure , My First Girl , And mate is the other half of the Alpha Pair , SUbmissive to me , LOL when she chooses , But a higher rank then the pack . In the event Both of us are out of office < Like the president> control of the pack goes to either the second girl or the majordomo, each taking control where they have the most experience and so on. Everyone Knows their place .
Polyamourous , Didnt you Just talk about that? Well , briefly yes , But this is a bit different , Because its about Love and sex and the girls being equal , You know the love that leads to polygamy and the milleniums new " Love that cannot speak its name".
Look Lets be honest here , How many couples , Polyamourous couples < Like more than two that involve say two Guys and two girls ? Its a het Dominant thing to have more than One woman , But let those Subs say ....mention it might be nice to get a Sub male to toss into the Mix, And Suddenly like a loin errr lion Guarding his pride the het male pounces !!! Ok not that bad ::smile::: I guess what I am saying is that Polyamoury is More than One man two women . I have seen One woman and two or more men , I myself am One man with a few of each gender availible to me . Yes I am Bi , the last phariah in BDSM LOL.
Open : wow what can I say about Open relationships , they dont work because its very hard for people to be ... Open ... Sure swinging works , Sure open works for some , I dont want to generalize here but why not just call it room mates? Because otherwise where is the commitment ? whats the point of being with people if you dont experience life through their eyes , with them . Most " open relationships' Are short lived at best , shallow at worst , ok enough dissing.
yes I swing and am Involved in the swingers community , I do not minimize the validity of their choice , I can just see how " Most" of it can be better . Wow has this turned into a rant . think I will end here and wonder if i even answered the question . If you,ve read this far continue this discussion , I think thats whats Lacking here , we all just answer questions and do not debate the answers , ahnd debate is the best way for us all to find and answer , remember folks I like you am here to learn , we stop learning we die.
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Wolf
Headmaster Shadow academy
Minnesotas first and only BDSM school
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