RE: falling in love with your Master

RE: falling in love with your Master (Full Version)

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meticulousgirl -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/9/2007 12:08:13 PM)
A year ago i was in the same spot your in. your torn between two different worlds, it's scary, it's heart wrenching and i know exactly how you feel. i am not married but i wanted to be closer to my Owner, i spent three years flying to and from Atlanta with no other life than serving my Owner as no employer will let you take a six week vacation every other month...lol. i'm not really sure how my Owner felt about me moving here, we really never talked about that, it just kind of happened. but when i finally moved and when fantasy became a reality it was to much to bear, i was torn, between my home, and moving to be closer to someone who i know in my heart it will never work out with for numerous reasons. #1 we both want relationships and it would never really work between the two of us....for again multiple reasons. But i fell so hard for the One that i serve, felt so in love with Him and it was the worst torture in the world to have Him drive me back to the airport, hold back the tears until He drove away each time, and wished so many times that he would turn around and just kidnap me so to speak. After three years of that hell i couldn't take it anymore and i moved to atlanta but still ask myself if it was the right choice not because i'm not happy with Him but because i sacraficed everything to serve Him and be here with Him knowing there was no relationship between us in the future. You love your Master and you are like me where you are so in love with Him that you feel as though you would never be able to make it without Him, my suggestion to you is look deep inside yourself and yourself what it is you want, and more importantly what it is that you need and in the end who will be able to give it to you, who do you love and want to be with more, are there any chances of you and your Master hooking up after you move? None of us can answer these questions, look inside yourself and you'll find the answer that you know is already there.

domiguy -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/9/2007 12:12:08 PM)
Whatever she chooses she will be back out on this site or some other whining about how her new/old relationship has gone in the shitter and how some new person has once again miraculously managed to fill the void.....That is how it works.

astarri -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/9/2007 12:33:04 PM)
it sounds like you already know what you want to do in regards to your husband ... i would not rush things with this new Dom though ...allow yourself time to heal.

moki1984 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/10/2007 5:31:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Whatever she chooses she will be back out on this site or some other whining about how her new/old relationship has gone in the shitter and how some new person has once again miraculously managed to fill the void.....That is how it works. you are very wrong....im not saying one day I might find someone else...that i can not predict, but this is not a post whining about "ohh which one is hotter" this is much more than a petty which one do i pick! oh oh he has pretty eyes!

WorldTraveller7 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/10/2007 10:04:16 PM)
Initially I was happy reading your post. Looked like you have found the best of both worlds. I do not have advise for you but just a suggestion. How about just asking for some time, to be with your master, after your hubby has moved to the new place. Maybe, you will get a better perspective and a better decision when you have reversed the situation completely. (I have never been in a similar situation but seen someone very close get destroyed, when the lover stopped appealing as much, after she left the husband for him)

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/11/2007 6:44:33 AM)
Silly silly girl. But human, just like the rest of us, and clearly, your great at making mistakes. But you recognise them at least. Ok, so you've actually made your difficult situation a lot harder by adding another to the mix. Take the addition out now. Set it aside. If its love, he'll understand you need space right now and wait. If its not, well....ya live n learn poppit. So your back to im married and its crap. There, that's a much easier issue to solve. Now limit the amount of time your allowed to do fuck all about it, to say, 4 wks. Do a pro's and cons list for your options. Make a decision, and stick to it. Get your shit together. Heal yourself, then, see if your knight in shining armour is there for you still. The fact that you are 24/7 implies that youve not spent time with your master doing laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning and the boring stuff of running a house, just played. Does he want you and the child? or just you? Because love, your a bit of a package deal. Doesnt sound like you been the cleverest lady alive to me. you've been rather silly. I know, coz ive been known to be a clutsz myself. Question is, how will you learn and move forward, realising the mistakes you've made. Im do know, that once you have made your decision, you can then move forward. I wish all 4 of you the very best. In 5 wks, your new life begins. Goodluck.

peepeegirl5 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/18/2007 1:09:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy 3. get a divorce, leave your Master & strike out on your own as a newly single mom, giving yourself time to figure out exactly what it is you need to feel satisfied & content enough to not get yourself in another "crisis", like the one you're in now. slave joy Owned property of Master David eXcellent advice Joy :)

moki1984 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 10:58:13 AM)
I felt the wanting to put an update to this.....I was questioned by a few people as to my decision so here is. To begin, yes he does want me and my child to answer an earlier post...but Im not going to get too deep into that. I will be moving with hubby in a few months and seeing wha thappens...talking openly and honestly and giving it a shot......lets say it work sout...then i dont need to explain anymore. pretty obvious what happens. lets say it doesnt...then at that point i will come back to this shitty state and continue my relatinship with My Master...that being said I will not be moving in with him directly..i feel with a child involved that is not the smartest decision. Instead I will maintain an independent life as a single mommy with her and take care of myself while developing our bond more and seeing wehre it goes..if it leads into a live together situation..great..if not i will have my daughter and that is all I really need. To answer another topic brought up yes I do live a 24/7 d/s relationship with my master ie not just whips and cuffs...but cleaning, shopping, sittig back and watching a movie after the baby is asleep. shrugs the most important factor here is my child...i will take care of her and assure she is happy. everything else will fall into place eventually

MasterHyde -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 12:15:37 PM)
quote: You don't owe any man the time of day sweetheart. Do as you please. Wow, that's fucking shallow! And amazingly selfish, too. Nevermind that one of those "men" is her husband and the father of her child. Nevermind anything all. Just do as she pleases, with no regard at all for others? Yeah, advice like this is speaks volumes about a child who calls herself a domme. PS, I'm not defending the husband. He actually sounds like a louse. But the selfish idiocy of the statement above just made me want to scream. There are clearly some people in this world to whom we don't owe the time of day. But I think for someone on the sidelines to say about an entire gender, with no regard for the individuals involved is, well, immature to the umpteenth degree.

moki1984 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 12:40:48 PM)
i wanted to add..n omatter what happens...i would NEVER ever ever take seraphim away from her father. even if we get divorced within a week...he will always have the ability to see her and be a part of her life. so in that essence i do give him the time of day, as he rightfully deserves. our marriage has pretty much gone down the drain way before my master was involved but...he did give me the greatest blessing of my life and for that I will always be grateful. I love being a mommy hehe

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 12:55:27 PM)
I also am in a vanilla marriage of 24 years and have a Master. My husband gave me his permission to seek a Master and i did just that. I also have fallen in love with Him. At this point i am not willing to give up either relationship. That very well may change in the furture , and i am open to that.

texancutie -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 1:05:20 PM)
Life is not always black and white. There is a lot of gray area as well. It is hard to just pick one side sometimes. To the OP, I am very sorry for your situation and sympathize with it. I just hope given a little time, that you make the right decision for yourself and find happiness. Edited to add...How are you 24/7 if you are not living together? Am confused here. My Master has my heart 24/7 but I don't live with him, so I don't consider us to be a 24/7 BDSM relationship. Are you living together then? If so, I must have missed something. [;)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 5:19:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: texancutie Edited to add...How are you 24/7 if you are not living together? Am confused here. My Master has my heart 24/7 but I don't live with him, so I don't consider us to be a 24/7 BDSM relationship. Are you living together then? If so, I must have missed something. Most people do not equate 24/7 with live-in.

MagiksSlave -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 5:26:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moki1984 I felt the wanting to put an update to this.....I was questioned by a few people as to my decision so here is. To begin, yes he does want me and my child to answer an earlier post...but Im not going to get too deep into that. I will be moving with hubby in a few months and seeing wha thappens...talking openly and honestly and giving it a shot......lets say it work sout...then i dont need to explain anymore. pretty obvious what happens. lets say it doesnt...then at that point i will come back to this shitty state and continue my relatinship with My Master...that being said I will not be moving in with him directly..i feel with a child involved that is not the smartest decision. Instead I will maintain an independent life as a single mommy with her and take care of myself while developing our bond more and seeing wehre it goes..if it leads into a live together situation..great..if not i will have my daughter and that is all I really need. To answer another topic brought up yes I do live a 24/7 d/s relationship with my master ie not just whips and cuffs...but cleaning, shopping, sittig back and watching a movie after the baby is asleep. shrugs the most important factor here is my child...i will take care of her and assure she is happy. everything else will fall into place eventually Just thought i would let you know if you move with you husband and then devorse or whatever your husban can have you ordered to stay in the state becuase of your daughter. he can have it ordered that you may not move with her seeing as he is militery that wouldnt be to hard. So it may not be that easy to just move back to be with your Master. Magik's slave

lovewithoutfear -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 7:26:26 PM)
"either have a vanilla relationship and deal with a hubby not interested in BDSM or pick a master and lose the hubby. but trying to have the best of both worlds to me is greedy and greed IMO always bites you in the ass with big sharp jagged teeth right when you arent looking" Hasn't happened to me yet, in over a decade of polyamory and 3-1/2 years in the scene. I'm happily married to a vanilla man and in a strong and satisfying M/s relationship, part of a poly cluster where there is respect and consideration among all the parties. If everyone is copacetic with it, it isn't "greedy" at all. You can't generalize like that. Not that my situation is germane to the OP at all -- that's a different kettle of fish completely.

texancutie -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 7:36:55 PM)
A lot of people do actually. Just a matter of perspective sometimes is all. It can be very difficult to do when not living together, albeit not totally infeasible. I think this was a topic for discussion at one of the local special interest group meets a while back. People couldn't agree then either. For me personally, I am not sure I could do it unless I was physically living with him. But that is just me. Not to change the threads topic here.

SimplyMichael -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 8:05:10 PM)
quote: Most people do not equate 24/7 with live-in. If they don't then most people are silly. I just don't buy how you can be 24/7 and not live with someone. Its like saying I am monogamous to all six of my wives, or I am married but don't have women on my planet or something.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/20/2007 8:25:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael If they don't then most people are silly. I just don't buy how you can be 24/7 and not live with someone. Its like saying I am monogamous to all six of my wives, or I am married but don't have women on my planet or something. Generally what they mean is that they are committed and within the dynamic of the relationship together all the time- no breaks, no ons or offs, no vacations- it's just how it is. It's a matter of degree. I think most of us would say a slave is still a slave to a master if she is at work and he is at home- they aren't together 24/7. We all agree that 24/7 does not mean literally 24/7 I am in the direct physical presence of the other person. From there it's just a matter of defining the degree. Texan was confused about the language, I gave her clarification. That's what matters.

NYMaster101 -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/21/2007 2:20:42 AM)
It has been known to happen.

dvart -> RE: falling in love with your Master (5/21/2007 4:17:07 AM)
Some time ago I had a friend who claimed to be Gay. In fact he gave me quite a hard time over it and whenever I questioned his sexuality, he accused me of being homophobic or even being a closet gay. But the thing was that he had deeply emotional relationships with women and never seemed to sleep with men. The women he related to were always at a disadvantage because while they might get fully committed, my friend always had a get out. "I'm gay, I don't fancy women". He is now happily married with two children, but I suspect he still uses this get out clause from time to time. I wonder if instead of considering your own dilemma, you might instead concentrate on the other people involved in this situation (your husband, child, master). I understand that your current situation is painful, but as others have said it allows you to avoid committing to one thing or another.

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