stella40
Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline
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I'm going to go back to my favourite analogy with BDSM which is theatre. In this case with the Dominant as director and submissive as actor or actress.
As a director I'm prepared, I know the script of the play, I know the actors, I know what was covered during the last rehearsal, how the performance is to look, and what needs to be covered during the current rehearsal. What I don't know is how this rehearsal is going to turn out. I know the actors know the text, they know their parts, the scenes we are about to rehearse, they all have their own methods of acting, training, and experience.
The actors look to me, and I look to them. We have sat down and talked about this particular scene, read the text together and discussed at length how the scene is to look on the stage. However nobody can be sure. The only way forward is to try. So we try. The actors all read their texts, leave them to one side, get into position and begin the scene. This starts a sort of dialogue, they try to perform that scene in a certain way and I am trying to decide whether that is how that scene should be. It may not be. There may be a problem. So how do I solve the problem? We stop the rehearsal and sit down together and discuss the problem. Then we try again. This time the actors play the scene differently and it looks better. I don't need to go and look at other productions of this particular play. But when there's a problem the first people I turn to are the actors.
And so it is I feel between Dominant and submissive. Each one brings their own experience, knowledge and expectations to a particular situation, but there also needs to be confidence in each other and a dialogue, nothing more than open, honest communication as well as to pay attention as to what is going on.
A Dominant can make a mistake just as easily as a submissive, and a Dominant can learn from a submissive just as much as they can from any other source.
Training a Dominant doesn't necessarily have to mean topping from the bottom. It can also mean listening to them and finding out about what they really want from a situation or the relationship and making suggestions to help them achieve what they want and then leaving them to decide which suggestion to adopt.
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I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)
If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
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training your top. no flames - 
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...now your gonna tell me there is no Easter Bunny either..snorts..yeah right!..put your wee pin away LA ..my bubble doesnt burst that easy!..
..Tempting
, that any newcomer could do with a mentor. An experiended person, Top or bottom, would be able to pass on skills and safety techniques. Everyone learns something new at some point, and imho it doesnt matter if its a Top or bottom thats teaching you. 
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