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haloscorned -> The beginning to my Dom lifestyle... (5/8/2005 1:18:17 PM)
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I am fully capable of viewing women as more than mere sexual objects or beneath myself. Respect is something that I have always found myself giving first and foremost. I entered into this lifestyle when I first realized that I had a need to care for someone on a deeper and much stranger level. I was always more of a feline person growing up, and I started to view my relationships as such. Beautiful pets that I come to love and adore. I feed them, clothe them, and they return the love of snuggling and conversation.
Maybe it was my facination with imaginary friends growing up? I always wanted someone that was mine and only mine. Someone that lived for me and spent their days and nights dreaming about me. Humiliation or a lack of respect were never on my mind growing up. Only control. A life size doll to dress up and take care of.
My mother was an english major, my step father a disc jockey in the 70's. I always found people who referred to me as strict or straight forward. I found this due to the fact that both parents of mine were very vocal and honest. I'll never forget the first woman I dated that was twice my age. My mother and I spoke so casually about the topic that most of the people around us wondered how we could relate on such a deep level.
My mother was abused deeply by my father. He kept a black box in the bedroom and took pictures of her after he would beat her. We had an old computer growing up, and I'll never forget the day that I read a letter my mother wrote to Dear Abby. It spoke of all of those things and I was disgusted with my father and sympathetic towards my mother. I was angered that someone would abuse such a beautiful act of submission.
In my later years, my mother and I bonded greatly due to the reasoning that with no father figure around, I became the man of the house. Bills and other worries were spoken about, and my sisters remained in a comalike status of childhood. Eventually, my mother and I bonded on a level that included talking about subjects that most families considered taboo.
Sex, masturbation, drugs, staying out late, suicide, and every other teenage woe.
In the end, I became someone who fufilled a great need to the women around me. In exchange for their submission and sometimes slavery, I offered my kindness and instruction. I hope that in the future, you and I can speak. I look forward to hearing from you.
-Brickland
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