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Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 7:35:02 AM   
hhpumps


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Hello All,
I would love to find a sweet sub, but I'm not sure if my profile is going to get anybodys attention. I feel I have a lot to offer, but have not had many responses. If you have a minute or two, I would really appreciate a critique of my profile. Thank you. Have a great day!
Always, John
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 7:41:22 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		ok you're seeking an attractive submissive woman. well, you really don't state if you want her to have interests outside the D/s dynamic, preferences in body size/weight, to be intelligent, etc etc 
question - what are the everyday things life has to offer?  merely curious

it's a nice start - personally i would expand on what i'm seeking in a submissive woman.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to hhpumps)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 7:49:15 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am seeking an attractive, submissive woman

This is your opening statement. For the sake of clarity, you should define exactly what you mean by this. What is attractive to you? What is submissive to you?

quote:

  A sub who enjoys the role

This right here, to me, says that you are looking for nothing more than a play partner?

Try going into some real detail about exactly what you are looking for.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to hhpumps)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 7:59:41 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Though not a sub I did look at your profile.  The thing that jumped out at me was use of the word role?  Are you looking for a play partner to do some role play and aside from that be in a vanilla relationship?  Are you looking for a power exchange or play?  Monogomy?  I think you need some more info in your profile about what you are looking for, specifically.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 12:58:18 PM   
WillowRain


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hhpumps

Hello All,
I would love to find a sweet sub, but I'm not sure if my profile is going to get anybodys attention. I feel I have a lot to offer, but have not had many responses. If you have a minute or two, I would really appreciate a critique of my profile. Thank you. Have a great day!
Always, John

Dear John,
I am not fond of your name choice personally hh pumps. Does that mean that you like high high heals, or that your nickname is hh and you like cupping, or suction play? I would consider picking a name that suits you, or your interests, and I would capitalize it. Consider adding a picture. Even if you have to be descrete, a shot of you out somewhere in the sunlight, maybe a shot from behind, or something that crops out the top of your head, but shows your hands, and maybe a smile? Pictures really help. Go simple, go sane, be clothed.

Otherwise I thought your profile wasn't scary and you read as being thoughtful and literate.

Good luck in your search,
Master Jack's,
Willow

(in reply to hhpumps)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 1:28:31 PM   
MsOpal


Posts: 244
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I amm going to jump up and say no matter what I was looking for, if I was a sub seeking a Master, the fact you are in the military would keep me away.  I know you cannot change that fact and the fact that you put it in the profile is good.  But it may men more than one relocation will be necessary, it may mean you will be deployed in the near future.  Argent is ex- USAF, my first husband was USN.  I respect and applaude and thank every single man and woman who serves our country and the world as a part of the US military.  But I would not ever willingly enter a relationship with active duty military again.  I have no idea if that has any bearing on your problems or not... but it might.

MsOpal

(in reply to WillowRain)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 1:38:14 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		Hi there hhpumps,

I thought your profile was a very good start but would agree that you need more detial in what it is you seek, as others have said you state attractive but what is attractive to you, is it all about looks or do you have one particular thing your attracted to, you say you want a lady outside of the bedroom and a whore in it, does this mean you want vanilla with a twist?

You state you enjoy kink, what is kink to you? some people view spanking as kinky where as for others its other things, what specifically do you enjoy? How long have you been in the lifestyle, are you active in your local community? What would you want to spend time doing when you are not doing BDSM releated things....You say you want a lady outside, would that be within confines of a dynamic, are you looking for one who will always be sub to you or only when you play or scene as such, do you want to have control over your girls day to day life etc...

Thats really all I can say and - Good Luck!

(in reply to MsOpal)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 1:43:06 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think sambamanlilgirl is on target here John.  Describe more of what you are looking for.

(in reply to hhpumps)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 3:15:00 PM   
bowandserve


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/2/2007
Status: offline 		I agree it is nice to read one that shows you are a real person and are literate. The stating you want someone attractive off the bat does lean toward the arrogant side as this is far beyond physical attraction. Keep that on the quiet side and personally decide if the person is attractive. I would prefer that too but since I'm not putting my pic up there I would find it unbalanced to request someone hot.

I would add that the fact you're not getting a lot of replies might be a good thing. You made it clear you want a relationship by starting slow so you're weeding out those that want to play right away and are more into the kink than the dynamic. Perhaps that's too ambiguous for some but if that's what you want, don't change your criteria.


_____________________________

I have love to give, I just don't know where to put it

NO, there's no profile over there, but it's here. If you think about it for a sec, it wouldn't be that hard to contact me...

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Request Profile Review - 5/9/2007 4:48:29 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		Ditto what the others have said. Nix the attractive part...that will scare some girls away for many of us feel we are not attractive and if you say that word, we assume you're looking for a super model type as opposed to a real girl. If you are going to mention looks at least be specific so we know what "attractive" means to you. If you like short chunky blonde women, say so...otherwise, someone like me might not write you. I might assume that by "attractive" you mean a tall, leggy, slender brunette or something. If attractive specifically means "HWP and chesty" then say so. If it simply means "long hair and a good smile" then say that...You see how open that is to interpretation?

The military thing, as mentioned, is a major put off for *some* girls. I also completely respect our troops but I would never,ever date active military. I am too tied to my land and my home and many girls feel likewise.

Your profile is polite, literate, and doesn't sound like a wanker. But you might want to express a little more detail about who you are and what you are looking for, as well detailing your experience level. Some kind of pic would be a plus (even if it's just a pic of your eyes or something.)


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to bowandserve)
Profile   Post #: 10
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