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a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:05:06 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
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This isn't a post to debate if there is such a thing or not.
To me a no limits slave has only the limits that her/his Master/Mistress has. i know for a fact that this does exist because i am one. Though i am new to this realization.

This post is to ask those that have lived this reality longer than i have if you had moments that you freaked out at the reality of it and if so how you delt with it?
There are things that i held onto in the past as limits because they were too scarey or gross for me to let go of. Everytime i realize that i have let go of one of those things i have a bit of a panic attack. It's not even a matter of if Master will ask those things of me it's a matter of IF He did i would do them and to the very best of my ability that stikes the fear in my heart.

Am i the only one that has had these panic attacks when they first realized the depth of ones submision? If not then how have others delt with it?

i want to make it clear that these things are not things that would endanger Master's property because i already know without a shadow of a doubt that Master requires that His property be as healthy as can be. i added this part because i know in all posts about no limit slaves people feel the need to talk about death and dismemberment and this is not what i am talking about.

Post #: 1

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:25:52 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I would have break out moments, but I wouldn't have full out panic attacks.

If those happen, I'd say catch yourself early in the process, calm it down and look at things as objectively and positively as possible. Remind yourself that you are FULFILLED where you are now and that's what ultimately matters.

For me I'd laugh at myself and then be happy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 2

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:31:21 PM

Archer

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Joined: 3/11/2005
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The thing to remember is that between any two or more people the limits of one party will change at a different rate and in a different direction over time.
While matching limits is something I consider a viable perspective on the concept of a "no limits slave" it has some flaws over the long run.

Early on the limits will change in the same direction and carefully watched and observed the limits will remain matched for the most part or weighted towards the slave haveing greater limits (willing to do more things) than the Master.
The potential remains that a new interest will develope that will trip the limits trigger of the slave so they will suddenly no longer have exactly the same limits.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 3

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:37:40 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

LA,
thanks so much. Usually i'm on the phone with Master when it happens and He knows that it is starting. He helps me calm down. He says i can't freak out about something that i may never be asked to do. It really isn't that He would ask it of me as much as it is that i would do it.

i'd love to not even start to freak out and i'm sure that time will come but it really bugs me that i'm not there yet. i am glad to know that i'm not the only one having felt this way.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:37:40 PM

greeneyes1962

Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

There are things that i held onto in the past as limits because they were too scarey or gross for me to let go of. Everytime i realize that i have let go of one of those things i have a bit of a panic attack. It's not even a matter of if Master will ask those things of me it's a matter of IF He did i would do them and to the very best of my ability that stikes the fear in my heart.

I have found myself mentally letting go of more and more of my "limits". No panicky feelings, just an "ahhh" moment, when I realize that these things no longer scare or squick me like they used to. The more love I feel, the more I desire to give up to Master.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 5

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:39:36 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

liljoy, the feelings you're having aren't uncommon at all. tho it never led to panic attacks per se, in the first couple of years of my slavery to my Master it would cross my mind often of how i had no limits and my Master could do whatever he wanted to or with me. as you say, it's not so much believing that he actually would do all of those things necessarily, just the fact that he can and that i would have to submit and accept. He would mention to sometimes various extreme things he was considering doing to me or subjecting me to, things that were so far out of the realm of all i had previously known or experienced that i would just be terrified at the mere thought. sometimes he would actually go through with these things. most of the time he wouldn't, it was more of a test to see if i could bear the idea.

sometimes i would go beyond panic and fear over these things and become downright angry. anger that i never outwardly expressed, but anger nonetheless. and then from anger would come the sense of hopelessness, like, so this is my life now? and of course that would lead to despair and deep depressive spells, as depression is already something i battle with.

my saving grace throughout all of that was my Master....his determination, his stability, and most importantly his love. somehow he finally got it through my thick noggin that he doesn't want to see me miserable any more than i want to be miserable. that doesn't mean that he wouldn't cross quite a few boundaries and take his pleasure at his will with me, including making me suffer for him when he desires that. but it means that i am very valuable to him and that he will do all in his power to not destroy or shatter me.

so liljoy...seek comfort in your Master. He will understand what you are going through and help you through this. that, and time. a couple of years from now, maybe sooner if you're lucky, you'll think of the fact that your fate is entirely in this man's hands and feel nothing but the greatest peace and comfort from that.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:46:08 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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I had a moment or two where I felt a little apprehensive then in a few moments I felt happy and satisifed. Letting go of something is not as panicky if I think about why I am doing it first. I also try to realize why it is I would want to hold on to something and usually I can't think of a good reason so that calms me too. It is a wonderful feeling for me and I wish you luck.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 7

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:49:43 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

Archer,
Am i understanding Your post right that You think that one day i will want something that Master is not willing to do to me,Sir? i can't even imagine that as Master has already done things that are far beyond what i can currently even imagine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

The thing to remember is that between any two or more people the limits of one party will change at a different rate and in a different direction over time.
While matching limits is something I consider a viable perspective on the concept of a "no limits slave" it has some flaws over the long run.

Early on the limits will change in the same direction and carefully watched and observed the limits will remain matched for the most part or weighted towards the slave haveing greater limits (willing to do more things) than the Master.
The potential remains that a new interest will develope that will trip the limits trigger of the slave so they will suddenly no longer have exactly the same limits.

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 8

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:50:46 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Well, considering what my hard limits are....they will never change. They are, however, not an issue because Master and I have similar morals. It's not necessary to have them out in the open.

Anything that's not a hard limit for me is always open for discussion.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 9

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:51:04 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I've never even called myself a slave, and I have never worn a collar or been in a committed long term D/s relationship, but I find my limits are incredibly...erm...flexible...yeah, thats it...flexible!... depending on who I'm with, the circumstances and other factors both obscure and obvious. It's like, yeah, um, I did it because I really liked his shoes.

Sometimes I freak out but that's usually after I've done it and not before. I got involved in some really crazy cyber-training stuff not too long ago, the sort of stuff I always said I wouldn't do and all was well untill it was over and the person indicated I wasn't his type (or something like that). Then, I freaked out about what I had done under his influence. And all I can say in my own defense is that I really liked his font! How shallow is that?

In my regular life, I do things that are way beyond my limits and its almost always a good thing. But, I do have periodic freak outs. They're kind of like decompressions, I think.

I dunno. Hope this helps.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 10

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 12:57:42 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

hmm so for you the love makes scarey things less scarey? Please explain how to make that work. For me the love makes the scarey things even scarier because i love Him enough that i would do them even though they scare me

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyes1962

[I have found myself mentally letting go of more and more of my "limits". No panicky feelings, just an "ahhh" moment, when I realize that these things no longer scare or squick me like they used to. The more love I feel, the more I desire to give up to Master.

(in reply to greeneyes1962)

Post #: 11

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:01:29 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

prop,
i hoped you would post on this thread. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me and your advice does help a great deal

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 12

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:06:30 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

Archer,
Am i understanding Your post right that You think that one day i will want something that Master is not willing to do to me,Sir? i can't even imagine that as Master has already done things that are far beyond what i can currently even imagine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Actually that will likely happen first, and then it is possible although not certain that at some point he will develope an interest that you may find is a limit for you.

Now granted I am talking in long term theoretical 10+ years and it might not happen 20+ years and the possibility increases. That is not to say he will ask you to indulge him in the new interest.

I am basing this on the data of married couples who's interests diverge over years and in many cases an interest develops that is not shared. Extrapolating that to BDSM and letting my experience guide the possible outcomes.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 13

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:09:11 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Remember thouh that bottoms/ submissives tend to grow faster in their wants and desires than a Top/ Dominant can gather a set of skills for a new play form.

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 14

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:16:50 PM

charismagirrl

Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

liljoy...the thing you mention about panic attacks and how your Master calms you down by telling you that you can't worry about something that hasn't happened yet is similar to something my Master/Daddy brought to my attention once.

We were going to a swinger club for the one yr anniversary of my collaring...i was soooo excited and we'd never done this before BUT i was nervous too when i realized that he could have me do anything there. YIKES! So i asked him for one small, bitsy favor, which was to not make me go anywhere alone with another man for our first time there....What he told me has given me great peace... He simply said "Stop trying to control this"...it never struck me but i was trying to regain some of the power that i'd given to him. i was scared of a new situation and afraid to TRUST. This snapped me back into my reality. He reassured me that he would watch me and see how i was handling things and HE would KNOW what to do and when.

The other thing i did want to mention, is that each time we have pushed past a limit of mine that my Daddy has allowed me to keep (which has been his way of dealing with them, i can keep them until he thinks it's time to go past them)...each time we do it, especially the last one (which was my last big limit), i always am afraid that he will leave me now since there are no big new frontiers to push past (not that we have done EVERYTHING or anything but my personal limits)...this is an initial fear and then it subsides and i relax again.

_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

http://www.mycollarspace.com

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 15

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:20:04 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings..~smiles~

There are a few things that have brought me to the brink of "oh my God" what if Master really makes me do that, and become somewhat thought consumed by all the rampent thoughts. Even during some things that I am subjected to in my mind I am there saying..you can do this..you have to do this..you will do this or you will beg mercy..but never does the thought of saying "No" enter.

I have likes and dislikes of things..but they are not limits. I can't even fathom adding "death" to that list because at some point..I'm going to die wether I want to make it a limit or not. If Master chose to kill me..I'm pretty certain he could, and no amount of me standing there saying ..no no Master..thats a limit..you can't do that is going to make a difference. I never have approached the issue of limits or no limits as requiring "me" personally to like or not like. I agreed to Masters rule over me period. I think I can safely say that as long as I am owned by Master..there are going to be things that I am required to do that will make me anxious..wonder of my ability to do, and do well..but there aren't any things thus far based on His limits that would ever cause me to utter no. Can I take it to the bank that this will never change as time goes on and we change? Not realistically..but I can't sit here and say I'll never get hit by a bus either. Who knows the unknown?

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

< Message edited by starshineowned -- 5/9/2007 1:23:22 PM >

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 16

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:22:19 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

gypsygrl,
lol you crack me up. Acctually i've already done things that i never thought i would do. Those things had nothing to do with me loving His font or His shoes. They might have had a bit of something to do with the fact i love His voice, His eyes and that yummy evil smile He get's when i've made Him proud.

So far i haven't freaked out after the fact. So far it's been more like the ahh moments that greeneyes spoke of

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 17

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:23:09 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I can say that since giving myself as a slave and not as a sub I have had times when I have been scared and the realisation that all freedom aside from what I am expressly given is gone sometimes hits me and my stomach flips but then I try and catch myself and think over how this is what I wanted and this is what I am and how much i want to continue learning and being able to trust, I have always had far more emotional blocks than physical ones, always much more guarded with my heart and it was the giving of that I think that frightened me, it's still something im in ways getting used to.

(in reply to charismagirrl)

Post #: 18

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:23:50 PM

greeneyes1962

Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

hmm so for you the love makes scarey things less scarey? Please explain how to make that work. For me the love makes the scarey things even scarier because i love Him enough that i would do them even though they scare me

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyes1962

[I have found myself mentally letting go of more and more of my "limits". No panicky feelings, just an "ahhh" moment, when I realize that these things no longer scare or squick me like they used to. The more love I feel, the more I desire to give up to Master.

No, it's more the trust I have in him that makes things less scary. I love him more and more because I trust him as i have never trusted anyone before.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 19

RE: a different look at no limits slaves - 5/9/2007 1:31:55 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

hmm so for you the love makes scarey things less scarey? Please explain how to make that work. For me the love makes the scarey things even scarier because i love Him enough that i would do them even though they scare me

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyes1962

[I have found myself mentally letting go of more and more of my "limits". No panicky feelings, just an "ahhh" moment, when I realize that these things no longer scare or squick me like they used to. The more love I feel, the more I desire to give up to Master.

I understand what you mean with this liljoy -I sometines get frightened by the fact that i "would" do these things, There are things he has had me do that I always said ewww no way not my style no how, etc and I sometimes go woah, I did that, I enjoyed that, and yesm the idea that I would do things for Him that theres no way in hell I'd have previously seen myself doing can be frightening.

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 20

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