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What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 2:03:54 PM   
rollinonward05


Posts: 78
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		I just read the posting in Ask a Master by Bounty about invincibility ( which was a excellent question and got lots of different answers ) that had me wondering something.
If your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme  became sick what would you do?  I mean sick enough to be bedridden or wheelchair bound. How would you feel?  Would the relationship survive such a thing?
I do know of one slave i talked to about this a while ago said she would ask for release because he would not be able to do all the physical things that she enjoys. You can imagine what i thought about that. #1  It should be more about her Master not herself but ...who knows exactly their dynamics...
Myself i love my Master for all the things He is and that means my love would not dim even if he was to be taken ill. We do not have a relationship that is just physical, there is much more of the emotional and mental .


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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 2:08:45 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		From a personal standpoint - i have made a lifelong commitment to Chairman. He knows He can rely on me through anything that may come along. However, not everyone chooses this extent of a commitment. There's no right or wrong way, just whatever each person decides they can or want to do. i do find it difficult, however, to believe one who calls her/himself a slave is really such if s/he would ask release because of not receiving the kind of sensations they desire. i'm baffled as to what about them makes them perceive themself as a slave. - *walking away pondering*

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 2:46:12 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think it should depend on the dynamic. I would do anything for my Daddy and committed myself to a lifestyle of service and love. If He became terminally ill or incapacitated in any way, I would be here. I've made that commitment and I will stick to it, but that's not the only reason. I'm in love with Him and that trumps any incapacity that may come along.
 
Others have not made those commitments and I don't have any ill will for them being honest. If they know that they wouldn't stick around, well, at least you know up front.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 3:02:39 PM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		I am on the other side of the coin. I have a incurable form of cancer ( at least that's what the doctors tell me). My Sir knew and accepted this when I became his. At the beginning of next month I will be going to Bethesda, Maryland to NIC/NIH to be evaluated for a clinical trial. If I get accepted I will most likely be very very ill, loose all my hair, and be very limited in my ability to serve on any level especially in giving him my pain. I feel so very fortunate that he looks past all of this and sees me for the slave I am and that he will accept what ever level of service I am able to provide as long as I give 100% of what I am capable of. If the roles were reversed I would do the same. To me my M/s dynamic is about so much more then the physical acts weather it be cleaning, house, sex or hurting for him. It is more about a frame of mind, wanting to give all of me t the one I serve.

aurora

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 3:44:06 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

If your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme  became sick what would you do?  I mean sick enough to be bedridden or wheelchair bound. How would you feel?  Would the relationship survive such a thing?


Ours would survive just fine after 38 years of marriage.  A bigger worry for me would be if something were to happen to me how would He get along, since i have always done everything for Him.



_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 4:20:08 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		As I tend to involve myself only in committed, loving relationships, the disability of a partner would have no real bearing on that commitment, regardless of what they could or could not do. I am confident in saying this because I had a Master who was involved in a very bad accident and was severely disabled for several years. It never even crossed my mind to abandon him. The relationship lasted through the disability and for many years that followed.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 4:35:51 PM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Hmm that's sort of a no-brainer... I'm in it "till death do us part."
I'm not trying to say that's the right way or the only way, though. There are all different levels of commitment, and so long as both people are committed to the same degree I don't think anything's wrong with it. I imagine it would be a world of hurt if one person was vastly more/less committed than their partner and it came to the point a major decision had to be made.

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 6:47:43 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I didn't know how I really felt about it until I was personally faced with it. We did make a comittment to each other and thats what got us through. He went through a long illness that at one point had me asking him what was going to happen. I was scared and felt apperehensive. It is not about if we can do the physical things, that is not why I serve.

We talked about it one night and he basically said if it got to the point where he was not able to fulfill his duties as my Master then he would consider release out of consideration for me. I honestly did not want that to happen and it didn't. Master got better.  Being his slave isn't just about the good times. It is also about the bad. We have alot invested in each other and faced with a serious illness again we would talk it out and work out what was best. I think every situation is different and has to be acted on that individuality.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 5/10/2007 6:48:11 PM >

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 7:03:13 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rollinonward05

I just read the posting in Ask a Master by Bounty about invincibility ( which was a excellent question and got lots of different answers ) that had me wondering something.
If your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme  became sick what would you do?  I mean sick enough to be bedridden or wheelchair bound. How would you feel?  Would the relationship survive such a thing?
I do know of one slave i talked to about this a while ago said she would ask for release because he would not be able to do all the physical things that she enjoys. You can imagine what i thought about that. #1  It should be more about her Master not herself but ...who knows exactly their dynamics...
Myself i love my Master for all the things He is and that means my love would not dim even if he was to be taken ill. We do not have a relationship that is just physical, there is much more of the emotional and mental .




I would continue to love and serve him. I may have to take a more "dominant" role if he did not allow me to care for him as he needed, but I would do whatever it took to make him happy and keep him healthy. The only thing I could see changing was that if his condition did not allow for him to bring me to orgasm in any way then I would have to beg that I be allowed to have someone whose only role in my life was sexual stimulation.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 7:23:54 PM   
Stazia


Posts: 49
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		a lot of this depends on the relationship before said "sickness".  if it was only a casual play partnership, i highly doubt it would be able to survive anything of that sort.  however if it is a relationship that has been cemented and time tested, well that is a completely different ball of wax.  i think in that sort of loving dynamic that taking "care" of master would come naturally.  

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 7:29:38 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia
 i do find it difficult, however, to believe one who calls her/himself a slave is really such if s/he would ask release because of not receiving the kind of sensations they desire. i'm baffled as to what about them makes them perceive themself as a slave. - *walking away pondering*


I think it depends on the person. A person might realize that they are simply incapable of keeping up with the needs of bedridden or disabled person. In that case it probably would be best for the master if the slave was released. Better that they hire a nurse or get a friend/family member then have a slave forget a shot or a pill. Some people are truly not able to handle that and I would think better of them for realizing that.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slavemaia)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 7:51:40 PM   
moonspirit43


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia
i do find it difficult, however, to believe one who calls her/himself a slave is really such if s/he would ask release because of not receiving the kind of sensations they desire. i'm baffled as to what about them makes them perceive themself as a slave. - *walking away pondering*


I am committed to my husband.  If he were to get ill to the point of not being able to live a "normal" life, I would stay by his side and do all I could do help him.  But he would also have to allow me to go elsewhere to fulfill my physical needs.

Some people do need the physical part of BDSM.  If I do not get used in any capacity for some time, I get incredibly irritable and anti-social.  I stop doing what is expected of me and I don't really care about it.  If I was not allowed to find the physical from someone else, I would never be able to care for my husband to the level he would need it.  I would begin to resent him for not allowing me what I needed and that only leads to bad things.

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 8:28:47 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		Not a thing would change in the dynamic fon our relationship.  Being "well" or "sick" has nothing to do with who he is and who I am.

_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

... and i did.


~Surrender without Fear~
~Power without Guilt~
~Love without Doubt~

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 8:45:17 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		We have had many conversations about this.  I will continue to do as much as I possibly can for him.  I'm not going anywhere.  As for how I would feel...I would feel terrible for him that he was not well, and would try to ease him and please him in any way I could.  It's the least I can do for all he has done for me.

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 9:18:15 PM   
marfre


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonspirit43

I am committed to my husband.  If he were to get ill to the point of not being able to live a "normal" life, I would stay by his side and do all I could do help him.  But he would also have to allow me to go elsewhere to fulfill my physical needs.

Some people do need the physical part of BDSM.  If I do not get used in any capacity for some time, I get incredibly irritable and anti-social.  I stop doing what is expected of me and I don't really care about it.  If I was not allowed to find the physical from someone else, I would never be able to care for my husband to the level he would need it.  I would begin to resent him for not allowing me what I needed and that only leads to bad things.



When your Dom/Husband/Master is not what he used to be due to illness it changes all the  dynamics in the relationship.  If you are a very physical individual, and that connection is suddenly lost, it is a shattering experience. How you react to that change is a very individual thing.

Your heart is broken, your life is turned upside down, and your dreams are shattered. You are irritable and anti-social because of the circumstances.

If your love is strong, you will stay and be what you can to him as long as it takes. I am currently in that situation and haven’t had a physical connection for longer than I care to think on. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s hard.  I have put that need aside. I have begun to plan for a time when I can have that need fulfilled again. But, I made a commitment to the man I love, and I intend to stand by it. Don't sell yourself short...You’d be surprised what you’re strong enough to do when the time comes.

~m

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/10/2007 9:53:07 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Well, first thing...look for the dang key to the chastity device.   Just kidding.  I will stay by Mistress side.  I gave my vow I would serve Her in anyway She desires, and that I was Her's for life.  I would just remain grounded on a very basic principle..I am Hers in all ways.  If Her desire is for me to take care of Her, than I shall do just that. It's that simple for me.  I love Her. 



Always, with a sense of humor.



_____________________________



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RE: What would you do??? - 5/11/2007 3:35:03 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i cared for james more than half our relationship....he had diabetes and heart issues and refused to take care of himself before we met, and i made sure he took care of himself till he couldnt...four surgeries on his foot for bone infection but he KEPT the foot, three hospitalizations for congestive heart failure.  and i never thought of leaving.

same thing with LordFallcon, he was diagnosed with cancer and i was there for him, on the phone and at his side and putting the fear of the short woman into the doctors when he wasnt being given the information we needed and was not strong enough physically to do it himself. 

it isnt easy. but it is what i promised, and i never thought of doing anything less.

kitten, who still mourns them both, and hates december.

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RE: What would you do??? - 5/11/2007 4:35:09 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

How would you feel?

Bad; much the same as ANY person would feel when their partner becomes ill.
quote:

  Would the relationship survive such a thing?


I don't see why not. It really depends though, on those involved and the kind of relationship that they have.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: What would you do??? - 5/11/2007 5:07:35 AM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think you raise a good question. But not one that we can say, until we have experienced it. You cannot say how you would cope, untill you've been there.
And how 'you' feel about the change in circumstances, might not necessarily be echoed by your incapacitated dominant.
I think that the cited response from the slave, where she says she would leave because he wouldn't be providing for her needs, is a excellent response. It is honest. Open, unambiguous. I like that. Her need is for the play pleasure. That is what she is there for. Not necessarily your understanding of slavehood, but hers. She should be true to that. Not do what people think she should do if she's a 'true' slave and stay.
That would never work.
I had a LTR where he became depressed. Where he gave up. Where he laid on the floor incapacitated for too long. I would happily of stood by him, whilst he made a effort, but instead he chose the sick role. With a expectation of me to play nurse maid/wage earner forever. No. I wasnt buying into that. I left him. Guess what? without me to support him in the sick role, he had to recover, had to get a job, had to put a roof over his own head, pay his own bills.
How did my respect for him as a dominant come out of that? I lost all respect for him. Dead.
Harsh? perhaps.


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RE: What would you do??? - 5/11/2007 9:36:24 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		This is a no brainer i would stay.  I would feel horrible he was sick on incapacited, but we are committed to each other.  Our relationship is not based on the physical  that is just a perk.  We just love being with each other even if we are doing vanilla things.  So i would stay with him and continue to take care of him.  I love him so ther is no question in my mind.

Matt's littleone

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