finding a new Dom

finding a new Dom (Full Version)

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GeneGG -> finding a new Dom (5/10/2007 7:37:48 PM)
My Master and i have been training a new sub and wanted to start to look for a new Dom for her ... any sugestions on how to do this??? Just for FYI she knew she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready ... thank you very much for any thoughts

swtnsparkling -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/10/2007 7:45:35 PM)
quote: she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready How do you train a sub to be some one else's ?

mistoferin -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/10/2007 7:48:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling quote: she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready How do you train a sub to be some one else's ? Well I would ask the same question. But to answer the first question, I would help her to find lifestyle events and gatherings and let her meet people. Any future relationships in her life will probably have a greater chance of success if she meets people she is attracted to, shares interests with and develops on her own.

earthycouple -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/10/2007 8:42:00 PM)
you can train in basics....particulars are another story. I suggest building a new profile here and guide her in her search...also the community at large in real time is a great idea.

GeneGG -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/10/2007 9:26:14 PM)
Thank you ... and yes it is general training ... since she is new to this lifestyle ... thank you all for your input

Kinkypupper -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/10/2007 9:38:03 PM)
Get her involved with the local munches. A lot depends on where you are located

Totalmaster4you -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 1:15:57 AM)
The best way to help your newbi is for the Master to screen the perspective Dominants. Set up a profile and clearly state that that she's being guided in this important decision. In creating the profile don't use words that would be used in a vanilla profile. Find out what her current and future wants and needs are. Since you are a couple look at your own relationship from the same perspective making sure that you stick with measurable information. ( For example are the personalities compatible; the goals; domestic or works outside the home; bedroom domination or 24/7) Try to look down the road after the lust wears off. Try to match them up on nonbdsm things as well, like: do they like to excersize; read the newspaper; foods; tv shows; politics; and religion. One thing to take into account is her future asperations. If she wants to become a slave, for example, then she'll need someone to continue her training beyond his particular preferences. Remember to include poly or a Domme if she is comfortable with that. I wish you all well.

Focus50 -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 4:39:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you The best way to help your newbi is for the Master to screen the perspective Dominants. That would certainly screen me out pronto - I won't submit to "screenings" by anyone except the interested fem/sub. If she can't at least speak for herself at an equal and mature adult level with me, we're probably no gonna relate outside of a D/s dynamic - which is at least half the relationship. Perhaps a little more info on why she needs to be chaperoned to such an extent....? I'm positive I'm not the only Dom who won't be subjected to "hoop skipping" by a 3rd party "protector". When I write to a fem/sub, I like to think (even if delusional) that my mail is for her eyes only - which is the confidentiality anyone gets in return.... *Focus.*

Aileen68 -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 4:47:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GeneGG My Master and i have been training a new sub and wanted to start to look for a new Dom for her ... any sugestions on how to do this??? Just for FYI she knew she was being trained to be someone elses sub when the time was right and she was ready ... thank you very much for any thoughts How did she find you two? If she was able to connect positively once on her own, then she should be competent enough to do it again.

mistoferin -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 4:53:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you The best way to help your newbi is for the Master to screen the perspective Dominants. I completely disagree...but then I don't believe in arranged marriages either. If she is an adult she should certainly be able to make her own choices in partners. I certainly would not wish to have to be with someone that someone "chose" for me.

windchymes -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 5:29:31 AM)
I think this might be an example of "micromanagement" that we spoke of in another thread. Obviously, the Dom couple are enjoying their project of training the new sub and now they're moving to overseeing choosing her new Dom. Now they just need to find a new Dom who wants to be part of the package.

KatyLied -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 5:53:47 AM)
I'm curious, what are the "basics" you speak of. I will never understand how a girl can be "trained" for someone she hasn't yet met.

swtnsparkling -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 6:00:21 AM)
quote: KatyLied I'm curious, what are the "basics" you speak of. I'm curious also. What Basics?

KatyLied -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 6:03:15 AM)
quote: I'm curious also. What Basics? How to give a better bj? hehe

dawntreader -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 6:12:34 AM)
i would like to know the basics myself...aside from have a submissive mindset and desire to please, there must be something else because all my punishments in past relationships were from the very inexperience that drew the dom to me in the first place - quite a mindfuck, i might add~

swtnsparkling -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 2:28:54 PM)
I've checked back a few times now. I am very curious to learn what "the basics" are. Why do I get the feeling there will be no answers coming?

slaveish -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 2:40:11 PM)
To me, when I hear the word "training" I think of proper protocol and getting one's mind in the right place to accept commands. It might include some training in positions, domestic duties, quick responses, and learning that bdsm is not the dark force it seems to the vanilla world. The particulars of each new Dom / Master will be different but at least they will have the basic structure to work with.

swtnsparkling -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 3:14:18 PM)
Basics to me are just natural good manners- common sense. If I thought I might some day need to learn or just wanted to learn for instance -positions I'd go look them up and practice. Any thing having to do with the D/s relationship I needed to learn my Dom taught or guided me.

slaveish -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 3:52:57 PM)
~shrug~ It's your thing and it's perfectly acceptable. I think it is acceptable as well if a Dom and sub are more comfortable in training. I think it would be especially helpful for brand newbie subs. They crave guidance, don't know their submission deeply, and might be too intimidated to find their own Dom right away. I've never had a trainer nor have I ever trained a sub but I think it would probably be a rewarding experience for everyone involved. I also think it would be difficult for both sides to let go - at least it would be for me - but as I said, I'm not a trainer so perhaps I don't have the proper mindset for it.

KatyLied -> RE: finding a new Dom (5/11/2007 4:16:51 PM)
I think training a person for some other unknown person in the future is nonsense and nothing more than manipulation under the guise of "helping" or "teaching".

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