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AAkasha -> RE: Wondering why your e-mails are not getting responded to? (6/27/2005 5:56:26 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kc692
quote:
ORIGINAL: fulfillherdesire
More times than I can count on two hands, I have written long emails telling all about myself. I have not included a laundry list of kinks. I include a nice non-penis pic when I have the option to attach a pic. I am not hard on the eyes, I have a great career; will be finishing a degree in 2006. I have skills (I used to be in construction). I can cook gourmet. All these things I try to do right, Spend hours writing nice articulate letters that show my intelligence, and still I get no answers. Many times I start a dialogue and it last maybe I or two letters then nothing.
So I will keep on trying. There is one Lady in this thread that I tried to start communication with, to no avail. I will keep trying. Maybe I just need to write longer letters. But...it gets very discouraging and trying. So many pros and fakes so little time......j
Ok, not trying to be rude here, and maybe we just have different view points, but here goes....you say you cannot count on two hands the long thought out emails you have labored over only to not get answers..I have received two of your emails. ( I am assuming I am the Lady you are talking about, smiles) The first asked for permission to send me a picture of yourself. I will say I was pleased that you stipulated that it would be a g picture when you asked, BUT, my profile clearly has a directive in it that I REQUIRE a picture to communicate. So, if you cannot send a pic when initiating an email (which I do not understand why), at least you could say more than "may I send you a picture, g-rated, as I may be moving to your area.?" Now, as it was a polite email, even though I do not make a habit of answering those that do not follow directions, on the off chance that for some reason you needed to reply to one, I sent you an email saying, I require a picture to communicate so you could send me a picture. When you sent me the picture, you reiterated that you could not send one when initiating communication, then said something along the lines of I hope you like the picture, I think it shows my personality, and thank you for replying. I will tell you, it was very polite, which is a change, but that was all it said. Nothing about your interests as a person, etc. nothing about yourself at all. I was just supposed to look at your picture and formulate questions to draw you out. It seemed that, although polite, there was no effort on your part, just "here's my pic" "hope you like" "thanks for answering". What in there would garner an answer or an ongoing communication starting? I am not saying this to flame you, but to let you know what at least one Domme thought of it, so that, when you communicate with the next one, maybe there will be more evident thought put into the communication from their perspective.
It is not that I would not like to communicate with you...I just didn't see anything about "YOU", which is something I would like to know about. Because you were polite and nice, I answered you because I understood why you didn't follow the directive(which is something I rarely do). If you would like to email and tell me about yourself, and give me some info as to what makes you "you", I would like to communicate more.
I believe there might be a dynamic on the Internet (and would be interested to hear from others) where sub men may initiate contact, but expect the femdom to take the reins from there. He may send an introductary email, but it's either very short, or kind of "here I am". Even if an email exchange begins, often the sub tends to maintain a position of "what do you want to know?" or "ask me anything". It seems like the femdom is expected to assume the role of pursuer to some degree, and she should direct the conversation and ask the questions.
There is a sort of submissive "posturing" that goes on, where he essentially presents himself for review/consideration, then, hypothetically, "stands there," and waits to find out what next. Waits for the questions, her standards, her to put the gears in motion to move things to the next level or stop.
What is more rare is an introduction or early correspondence that has an equal amount of information from the sub along with questions about the femdom (not all related to bdsm), and showing a real appetite for information about her. Not much real "pursuing," if you will.
Do some subs feel it is inapprorpriate to be the one driving some of the questions, initiating conversation, offering up information that may not be solicited but is nonetheless interesting or anecdotal? Do subs prefer to offer themselves up, and let the femdom do the pursuing?
Akasha
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