Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Homeless Guy


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Homeless Guy Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:42:32 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I'm just now noticing the strangeness of seeing a homeless man and thusly resorting to making a plea for advice on a BDSM board.


Then again, it worked. You got a place to refer him to.

quote:

Even the light of a single candle can be comforting when you are surrounded by nothing but darkness. You brought a little light to a very dark place.


Amen. Beautifully said, Mist.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:42:56 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Even homeless people have pride.
It may just be difficult for him to admit that he needs help.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:44:12 PM   
Tuomas


Posts: 242
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tuomas

Interesting you are coming to all of these conclusions ... without having talked to him all that much. Do you know why he's homeless? Why he can't get his next meal? I mean you assume, but do you know.


This is the second time he's asked me for food money.  He looks as he hasn't had a hair cut in many years, and no shave in at least six months.  He's stick thin.  I've seen him wandering around, asking for food.

I'm going to assume he's without his next meal, and I'm going to further assume he's without a home.

I'm sure you are correct about that. You have your heart in the right place in actually noticing him, and wanting to help. Most people would have ignored him, or worse have been disgusted and pushed him away.

For some people who have fallen on bad times, it's hard for them to recognize to other people they need help. Just think of what it would be like for you to ask random strangers for food to eat. He probably will have trouble "opening" up to you, and might require some of your domly skills -particularly patience- to get him to talk to you. Probably -and I'm not assuming anything- he's had some less than pleasant experiences with other members of society, and it might be hard for him to trust you with his life story before getting to know you better (through regular contact, for example).

Some people, however, are just ... well, put bluntly, insane. They are physically incapible of living on their own in our society, and need someone to look after them. Lots of homeless fall into this category. It would be good if you could talk to a social assistant to know more about homelessness and poverty, its pyschology and personal manifestation. It would help you understand the man a lot better.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:44:24 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tuomas


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

Otherwise, you are just being selfish and catering to your feelings of guilt by buying him a meal...


That seems a bit harsh. The gentleman asked CL for help, and CL gave it.

Well, yes. But I get annoyed by people being all magnaminous about doing their "good deed of the day". If he is sincere about his desire to help, he will get to know the guy.

Like mistoferin did. Now that's a very good thing, that mistoferin did.


Thank you but I see it as more of a human thing. I try to remain congnizant of the fact that there is a very fine line between us and them...and it would really take very little to cross it. I think that if you can only do a "good deed for the day" then you should do exactly that. CuriousLord has posted that he is leaving tomorrow. There really may only be just so much that he can do. Many times, people who are in this man's position have built some pretty fair walls around themself to keep people out and getting to know them isn't all that easy.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Tuomas)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:48:15 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		You got some good advice. I just want to mention what happened to a friend of mine.  Her son and daughter-in-law met a couple who were living out of their car and took them back to their home to feed them and give them a bed for the night.  By morning the homeless couple had murdered my friend's son and seriously wounded his wife and robbed them.  Fortunateley they were caught and are in prison.  I only wrote this to warn you all that it can happen.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:48:44 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tuomas


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

Otherwise, you are just being selfish and catering to your feelings of guilt by buying him a meal...


That seems a bit harsh. The gentleman asked CL for help, and CL gave it.

Well, yes. But I get annoyed by people being all magnaminous about doing their "good deed of the day". If he is sincere about his desire to help, he will get to know the guy.

Like mistoferin did. Now that's a very good thing, that mistoferin did.


This is B.S. What makes you think that this person wanted anymore than something to eat?  And what is wrong with doing a "good deed of the day?"...Can you imagine if everyone of us did exactly as CL what a difference it would make?

I have seen plenty of homeless folks some are probably off of their meds some might just be down and out...I'm sorry...Yes I feel awful that people live in such a manner, but by doing his "good deed of the day" is probably more action than you, or I, or the majority of folks who live in our Country participated in today... I see absoloutely no fault in the actions that CL took today...It was a very nice gesture and it would be phenomenal  if more people would take the time to emulate his actions.

_____________________________



(in reply to Tuomas)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:51:22 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Okay.  I ask everyone excuse me.  I get a little manic when I feel there's a time constraint.

He's gone.  Didn't say goodbye.  Just ate a bit, slowly, quietly, for a good while, staring at me, then left.

The diner's closing in thirteen minutes, so I need to go anyhow.

As a closing note, it's not hard to find homeless people in this town.  There's this one corner I pass by on the way from home to this town where there's always at least one beggar with a sign.  He's not the first one to ask me for money here, and he's not the first one I've taken to the diner.  There's a park near here where I've seen a lot o homeless people sleep at nights (despite police going through and clearing them out regularly).
I guess this lack of sleep just has me emotionally weak tonight.  Excuse me.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:55:46 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Even homeless people have pride.
It may just be difficult for him to admit that he needs help.


Yeah, I agree.. must've been hard enough even to have to ask for money the first time, or accept a hand out tonight.  I don't know how many times he may've had to done it.  I can't imagine any of this is easy on him if he still maintains his pride.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:57:54 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Dude ... your finals are over. Why are you sober? Give the guy a fifty and go get plastered.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:58:21 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not a big (or even little) Bible thumper, but there's a line that comes to mind. A woman came and annointed Jesus' feet with fine oil, and the apostles were not pleased. Who was she, they wanted to know, and why was she bothering the rabbi? Also, Judas pointed out, she could have have sold the oil and given the money to the poor.

Leave her be, Jesus commanded: "She hath done what she could."

You, friend, have done what you could. You reached out caringly to another human being, and you gave someone who needed it a good meal (and quite a dessert). You've done more than many folks do. So be at peace. You have done what you could.

Here endeth the lesson.


_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 8:59:17 PM   
Tuomas


Posts: 242
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord
Edit:  Of all the fucking stupid things people decide to have flame wars over on CM, let's not have this be one of them.  I'm trying to help this guy, but I'm at a loss for what to do.  I can't spend the night with him.  I haven't slept in days thanks to finals and don't have anywhere to go with him (no cash, no car, everything closes at night), and he won't even talk to me.  I want to help him.  So don't make a point against me.  This isn't the time.

Yeah, sorry mate. It's late, and I should choose my words more carefully, and not generalize.

It's really hard to do something to help people, particularly when those people are not very open to help. I think you did a good thing, and it was really kind of you to be concerned about the guy.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 9:06:54 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		It is hard sometimes to help someone and I'd have to say that it is usually harder to help than it is to turn your back and walk away.

I had to chuckle a bit here tonight because I remembered that I had taken quite a bit of flak from the other store owners in the area for getting involved when I did. It seems that a few years before I opened my business there had been another homeless man who frequented that area. He often begged money from customers going in and out of the stores. Business owners would frequently give him money just to get rid of him. Well they got the bright idea to buy him a plane ticket to sunny California....justifying it by saying that they were trying to do him a favor and send him somewhere warm so that he wouldn't die of exposure in the cold Michigan winters. Imagine how surprised they were when he showed up the next day. Seems he turned the ticket in for the cash.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Tuomas)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 9:21:51 PM   
Tuomas


Posts: 242
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Thank you but I see it as more of a human thing. I try to remain congnizant of the fact that there is a very fine line between us and them...and it would really take very little to cross it. I think that if you can only do a "good deed for the day" then you should do exactly that. CuriousLord has posted that he is leaving tomorrow. There really may only be just so much that he can do. Many times, people who are in this man's position have built some pretty fair walls around themself to keep people out and getting to know them isn't all that easy.

Unfortunately, the human thing seems to be to ignore and home the government will deal with it. But, you are right. It would be wrong to presume to judge anyone.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 9:31:49 PM   
Tuomas


Posts: 242
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
This is B.S. What makes you think that this person wanted anymore than something to eat?  And what is wrong with doing a "good deed of the day?"...Can you imagine if everyone of us did exactly as CL what a difference it would make?

Not one bit.

I think I mentioned earlier that I spend quite some time working with the poor and near poor (which is a lot different in this here "third world" country), and what I've found is that the problem for these people is not that they don't have a bed to sleep in, or food to get though the day, but that they don't have anyone that believes in them. Like a friend, or family. And because of what they have become, no one will give them anything more than just some food, or maybe some coins. Yeah, giving a homeless man your old sneakers does help him -but it doesn't stop him from being homeless.

So, I think a lot of the homeless problem has to do with people trying to ease their guilt by giving some "poor homeless guy" a meal, instead of giving something that will actually help. A lot of poor people don't apply for a job, simply becaue they don't have the confidence that they can do it. Giving them charity only reinforces that idea that they are worthless.

That's why I think charity and the "good deed of the day" requires some thought, and some real commitment. I don't criticize CL, and I think he did the right thing given his circumstances. I would go so far as to say he went beyond what most people would do. I didn't mean to sound critical, and my comments were directed more in general than at him.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 10:01:53 PM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline 		You've done what you can.  You've offered him more.  He has declined.  You can also respect his desire to live his life the way he wishes, even if you realize that it will be hard for him.

One of the biggest problems for people in need, is the desire for respect conflicting with the need for food and shelter.  What is the price they are willing to pay?  He has made a decision about what that price is - respect it.

FirmKY


_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/10/2007 10:16:05 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		       I'll assume you can tell the difference between 'not right' and 'stoned out of his mind.'  If campus security hasn't had him hauled off to jail, he probably has no history of violence.  The reality is that there probably isn't one damn thing you can do for him.  Buying a meal is good, but if he's been on the street a while, he probably thinks you're gay and is trying to avoid 'paying' for the meal.

      Maybe volunteer some time at a shelter over the summer?

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/11/2007 1:14:49 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		CL -
 
Try contacting the nearest Homeless Shelter and ask for a list of their resources. 
You can always hand it to him next time you see him. 
 
I will give homeless folks food and drink but not cash.
 Many of them are regular people who had bad luck or made bad choices.
Many are multiple diagnosis of mentally ill, substance addicts, physically handicapped, etc. 
Do what you can if he wants your help but be mindful of your own safety
in regards to contagious diseases like TB and scabies or potential violence. 
 
Be well,
 
Vendaval




_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/11/2007 2:34:33 AM   
Wildnfreehrt2004


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		Rejoice in the fact that you did notice, you did something and you have conscience and compassion to want to do more, after going without sleep for several days, you have thoughts that are not only self-serving. Keep this part of you alive and it will serve you (and the world) through the rest of  your life.

And know that the light you shine, allows the rest of us to reflect upon our choices and reach deeper into our consciences and compassion to want to more also. That you did care to help and cared to do more is a plus in these times.

You did what this man needed at the time. It struck a chord inside that you want to do more. But you can't cure mental illness and societies ills in one night. Take comfort that you did more than nothing.

Wildy

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/11/2007 6:13:16 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		CL, I think you're awesome for doing something to help this guy, no matter how trivial you might think buying him a meal is.  The timing is unfortunate that you're going home (enjoy your summer break!) but at the very least, this meal may have kept him alive a few more days where he will be able to perhaps stumble upon another caring soul who might help him in another way. 

There's a very good chance that he has a mental illness, thus the talk about being diabetic...whether he really is or not.  On the other hand, if he's diabetic and not affording insulin or medication that he might need, his blood sugar may have been so low that he ate the pie to compensate.  Who knows for sure what could be going through his mind. 

What greatly appalls me is that someone could be pompous enough to criticize you or anyone who takes the time to help another human being.  So what if they get "Do-gooder-itis"???  The bottom line is, someone who needed help got help.  And I think it's disgusting to imply that someone should not help another who needs help because maybe there is some "selfish" personal reward for doing something good?  Sheesh.

I have a lot more respect for someone who helps someone else, no matter what the motivation, but shame on you who would not help someone because the motivation was not "correct". 

You're a great guy, CL

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Wildnfreehrt2004)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Homeless Guy - 5/11/2007 11:33:13 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

Okay.  I ask everyone excuse me.  I get a little manic when I feel there's a time constraint.

He's gone.  Didn't say goodbye.  Just ate a bit, slowly, quietly, for a good while, staring at me, then left.

The diner's closing in thirteen minutes, so I need to go anyhow.

As a closing note, it's not hard to find homeless people in this town.  There's this one corner I pass by on the way from home to this town where there's always at least one beggar with a sign.  He's not the first one to ask me for money here, and he's not the first one I've taken to the diner.  There's a park near here where I've seen a lot o homeless people sleep at nights (despite police going through and clearing them out regularly).
I guess this lack of sleep just has me emotionally weak tonight.  Excuse me.


CL, you did a good thing.
No, unfortunately it's not hard to find homeless people in this country.
I give to three different homeless shelters.
And many among the homeless are Military Veterans which I find despicable.
Our govt. has "plenty" of money for "foreign aid" though which gets funded every year due to the pressure from the Lobbyists on "K" street in Washington.
Then, 98% of it get's stolen.
The Lobbyists get a huge "commission" from the foreign countries and corporations who are their "clients."
Then most of the rest of it gets stolen by the corrupt "leaders" of the countries that it goes to, and then there's the Mercedes Benz dealers. And there's a Mercedes Benz dealer in every single country in the world!
And we have homeless people on our streets!
Whoever is the next President needs to pick our govt. up by the ankles and start shaking it vigorously!

And we need to OUTLAW "Lobbyists!"

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 5/11/2007 11:35:18 AM >

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Homeless Guy Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109