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justheather -> RE: Can't quit thinking about being a pet... (5/13/2007 2:48:19 PM)
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FR:
I think it's completely normal, especially after one experiences the sort of "awakening" that many subs do. For some, even the freedom to think about the things they were ashamed or afraid to really explore (if only internally) before is intoxicating.
When I first discovered there were other people who felt the way I did, that it had a name and that "regular" people engaged in the kinds of things I fantasized about, I read as much as I could about D/s and BDSM...and it was in my thoughts all the time. I would look at people and think "Is he? Is she?", get turned on if a certain type of man or woman even glanced at me sideways and was certain I had some kind of submissive essence oozing from my pores.
This, like everything else, is not permanent. I would encourage you to enjoy being where you are, try to be fully present and feel the feelings, maybe even write them down for reflection later, you might find them useful (or entertaining) later.
As far as "feeling out of control" goes, I'm not sure if you are saying you feel like you are out of control in terms of not being able to make wise choices or if you just feel so overwhelmed with feelings it's hard to find the ground sometimes. It would be wise to practice methods that work for you in terms of grounding, but unless you feel you are in some kind of danger, enjoy the moment! I believe that things have a way of balancing themselves out naturally.
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