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humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 12:22:26 AM   
Sweetbluerose


Posts: 54
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		I was asked today to research various forms of humiliation play, can anyone give me information on types of humiliation play they have tried...and how they felt about it. Personally I would think as much as I dislike pain I would recover faster from being hurt physically than mentally But I am assuming that most humiliation play would be talked ahead of time, and some thought would be put into how the submissive would process the humiation?  
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 2:45:20 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		i think all play should be talked about and agreed apon by both parties ....and what type of play or humiliation do you the sub fear

(in reply to Sweetbluerose)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 4:38:03 AM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Humiliation play for us works, because he pushes my 'uncertain' or 'unconfident' buttons. We do discuss humiliation play together in as much as what it is, how it makes me think/feel. How he feels pulling those reactions from me. What we are both gaining from it. What need it is fulfilling for each of us.
What we dont discuss is what is going to happen. Im never told, he just starts.
The shock is part of its impact. Im not sure id like to have my initial electric response to it, removed by forewarning.
I 'know' that i am loved. I 'know' that i am adored. Its not real, just a tool to make me feel very Alice in Wonderland small. But instead of a potion i drink, we use humiliation. Psychological play, for me is hot.
My body would respond well to a spinning washing machine to be honest. But only one has played this intensely with my mind.
Control my mind, and you control my heart.
But we began very gently. Baby steps, talking all the way. It was a form of play he had identified as having no interest in at all. Me neither.
Then we tried it, and BANG. Huge response from me. We dont necessarily choose how we react, we just do.
I do know, that the more he learns about 'me' the person, the inner person. The easier it is for him to drop me deeply into subspace in nanoseconds. Its very potent.
I have yet to suffer from our play. There is always lots of aftercare, checking in on each other. We live together, so have easy access to this, in the days that follow this type of play. I think that could be important.
Its been a while since there's been a humiliation thread. To be honest, it makes my brain fizz a bit, differentiating between humiliation and embarassment. Perhaps someone can paraphrase the difference nicely for me.
ill look forward to reading some of the newer members who arent in the thread links ive allready read.
little1

(in reply to iwearpanties)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 8:28:41 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't consider it "play," but I am deeply affected when he humiliates me.  I feel small, hot, surrendered, and deeply connected to him.  But the severity with which he humiliates me was worked up to.  I remember when even being called a bitch caused me emotional pain.  Now it's simply a word used to refer to me.  Humiliation can damage one's spirit if used recklessly and unaware.  It could be received no differently than a blow to the face for some, and cause one's spirit to shrink.  It can also cause one to flourish, and get in touch with his/her inner most core.  I recommend you know the person well, unless it's something you both are casually playing around with, in which case use it lightly.  Always, always allow the humiliatee to talk about his/her feelings afterward. Following up with reassurance of the goodness he/she carries is also something I would recommend.

(in reply to Sweetbluerose)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 8:35:26 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		For humiliation to work, not only do you have to know the sub well enough to know what wil get under their skin and what can be exploited, but you have to know what areas are out of bounds and not to be played with. We have played with the ideas that Angel is inadequate for me in certain ways, and that as a male he fals short and can be disappointing. However, there are ertain areas, such as his bing a waste of time for me, or not deserving me in his life, which are offlimits because they would not be seen as play. Those would cause real damage becasue of the associations.
Humiliation can be good, it can give a sub reasons to improve themselves.  It can make them feel small and lucky to have their dominants with their inadequacies. owever, if not carefully monitored, it can be pushed to far and the submissive can start to actually beliee that the dominant thinks they are worthless, not just pointing out things for the reasons of humiliation.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 10:55:12 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		My Dominant never dicusses those types of things with me beforehand.  However, we always always talk about them once they are over.

What is humiliating is kind of different for every individual.  Start out by talking about times in the past you have been embarrassed or things you are afraid will happen that will embarrass you.  Work out what you plan to do from those things.


_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 11:02:17 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Little1, thank you for that rather eloquent description of what humiliation play (as we call it) is for you.  I would say it is much like that for me, as well, and agree it works better for me when we don’t discuss it beforehand.  I don’t play with people I don’t know and trust anyway…so I don’t have to worry about being ‘injured’ in any way, really.  The Alice reference was perfect, too!  I don’t just feel ‘small’…I also feel very submissive and controlled.  It’s a good headspace for me.
 
Owned…again, all I can say is…congratulations, you’re one lucky girlie!
 
DV...I don't think I could go as far as you two seem to enjoy.  For me...that borders on degradation; I just can't go there...  That whole 'bitch/slut' thing, like OG said...is too hard for me, I think.
 
beverly 

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 12:42:30 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		One of the best annalogies for how to do Humiliation play ell and safely is consider the bottom to be a building.
Take a look at which walls are load bearing (core values self image), and which ones are not.
You can knock out a non load bearing wall and the house remains standing.
If you knock out a load bearing wall then the entire buiding may collapse.

If you must mess with a load bearing wall then you brace and build up something near by it to take on  the additional load of the building's weight.

For instance
I would never attack Elegant's ability as a mother (being a mother is a core self identity value for her)
Another core self identity for her is business woman ( If  were going to attack that then first I would reinforce those aspects of her business sense that I wanted to take up the load and then I could safely blast away at the business woman aspect knowing the braces (those things I built up) would carry the load.

Meanwhile non core values areas safer to play with would be her skills as a driver I could blast away with little regard at that area knowing that her life ad sense of self worth do not hinge on her driving skills. (Note if your bottom is a limo driver then their driving skills would be load bearing)

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 1:08:36 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetbluerose

I was asked today to research various forms of humiliation play, can anyone give me information on types of humiliation play they have tried...and how they felt about it. Personally I would think as much as I dislike pain I would recover faster from being hurt physically than mentally But I am assuming that most humiliation play would be talked ahead of time, and some thought would be put into how the submissive would process the humiation?  


this slave believes it's the same concept as playing "rape", most aren't really into the real thing, hence the "play" word being attached.  there isn't anything for this slave to process if she knows from the get-go it isn't real and is allowed to set up limits as to what can and can't be used/done/said.
 
also, what one considers humiliating, another might consider hot foreplay.

(in reply to Sweetbluerose)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 1:12:48 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sweetbluerose

I was asked today to research various forms of humiliation play, can anyone give me information on types of humiliation play they have tried...and how they felt about it. Personally I would think as much as I dislike pain I would recover faster from being hurt physically than mentally But I am assuming that most humiliation play would be talked ahead of time, and some thought would be put into how the submissive would process the humiation?  


Humiliation spans a gammit from public bukkake rug to being spanked because you really did not mean to disobey...it depends on your personality ~~~  I so agree with DV

< Message edited by shyinini -- 5/11/2007 1:14:30 PM >

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to Sweetbluerose)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 1:12:50 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		i agree with those who've said the Dominant or Owner needs to really know the sub/slave to know what buttons are safe to push and what one's aren't. Humiliation play for me is Master ordering me into different positions for His visual pleasure, or ordering anything that requires blatant physical or vocal expression of what i'm feeling. Being seen emotionally, being seen physically in ways that are ~ahem~ less than "ladylike" are all forms of humiliation that Master enjoys and that are not the least harmful to His slave, although difficult for me since i'm a bit shy and get embarrassed easily.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to Sweetbluerose)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 1:54:21 PM   
calicowgirl


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline 		I am the same way. My limits in this area are very low.

And like Sirandlittle1, I have a hard time differentiating between embarassment and humiliation... I just know what makes me uncomfortable. lol

cali


_____________________________

Let your dreams run wild... be brave enough to follow.


Anyone who can think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to slavemaia)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 2:26:11 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		To the OP, humiliation isn't about causing mental or emotional pain. It is about pushing you to become more, to feel more. There was an example I read yesterday (and I can see his photo in my mind but - I do apologize - I do not recall his name) who said he had a sub who had self-esteem issues so he put her on a collar and a leash, naked, and took her out around his friends. She saw that ~he~ was not ashamed of her. It boosted her confidence. It's a lovely show of what humiliation is used for.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to calicowgirl)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 2:59:31 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I do not recall his name)

That was RaveMuse I believe

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 4:01:32 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		sns, yes - I believe you are correct. Thank you for refreshing my memory. And to Raven - please forgive my oversight.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: humiliation "play" - 5/11/2007 4:09:20 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		anytime

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 16
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