Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two

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Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 3:44:41 AM

philadelphia

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Joined: 11/29/2006
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This has left me in a place i never expected to be...Ive met a wonderful lady who is my equal in all aspects of life...She is vanilla to the lifestyle and very new to swinging..She is bisexual and recently she has expressed the need for us to have a sub together..In a poly household so to speak..

Im lost on how our experence and lack of will flow into a relationship..Can anyone explain their experences with suh a situation

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 3:52:30 AM

Pheonyxx

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Joined: 8/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: philadelphia

ok..She is vanilla to the lifestyle and very new to swinging..She is bisexual and recently she has expressed the need for us to have a sub together..In a poly household so to speak..

Im lost on how our experence and lack of will flow into a relationship..Can anyone explain their experences with suh a situation

Philadelphia,
Might I suggest going to the boards and reading the topic list of "Polyamory"? I will say that a poly relationship can be one that is wonderful, but if the dynamic is not handled with the utmost of care and everyone is not invested and actively trying to make things work, it can be ugh and lee. As for your lady, I would sit down with her and ask her why she feels she wants to go to a fully poly relationship, especially since she is so new to the scene.
Best of Luck to you and yours.

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 3:52:36 AM

MstrssPassion

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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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my experience with developing a poly household?

there is a lot more to it than have a third sex partner
it takes a great deal of openness & honesty for all parties involved
jumping into something such as this will most often end miserably

the list can go on

However, when proper planning & great care to detail is taken it can be a very great experience for all parties involved. You have your work cut out for you but it you do it right it can be worth all the effort you place into it.

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 4:35:23 AM

mistoferin

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I think that there are HUGE differences between swinging and having a poly household. As she is brand new to all of this I would suggest that she take some time to consider what she is looking for. Is the motivation from swinging or is it from a desire to have a committed D/s poly household? At any rate, I wouldn't rush into things.

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 5:31:11 AM

windchymes

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Is it possible to have "Bi-frenzy"? Or "Poly-frenzy"?

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 5:33:10 AM

ExtremeOwnerIL

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Joined: 10/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Is it possible to have "Bi-frenzy"? Or "Poly-frenzy"?

Yes. New Relationship Energy or New Toy Energy. That sense of excitement in treading into the unknown and learning new things. Usually ignores reality for a little while.

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 6:08:54 AM

Eldritchdancer

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As mentioned before by the lovely people of this forum, talk to her. Make sure she is using the right terminology to get across what she wants. Does she truly want a 3rd person living with you both? Or does she just want an option to invite another person in for a little slap and tickle?

Master Darkmoon

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 6:10:28 AM

MrDiscipline44

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The two of you should really figure out the relationship between you before roping someone else into it. She wants to be a dom? Does she know anything about it? For that matter. what do you think you know about being a dom? Ultimately, she'll be modeling after you. How do you think this sub you're looking for is going to fit into your current dynamic. Only sexually? With domestic service as well? Are you going to support her in your household? Seperate from it? There are alot of things to consider when taking on a third or fourth to your life.

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 8:20:24 AM

Kinkypupper

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We have some good friends who are both "Dom" and have recently started plans for a subbie to move in with them. They are very well adjusted and it probably "works" better then a Dom and two subs. as everyone has a defined role

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 6:10:07 PM

hawkwolf7

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philadelphia,

Lots of good advice above.

I would just like to point out something that many people miss when considering a third...

It is important to realize that you are going from having one relationship to having four relationships. These four relationships are:

1) You and your partner
2) You and your third
3) Your partner and your third
4) The three of you together.

Most people are unable to give a single relationship the care and maintenance that is required to keep it healthy. Picking up a third will quadruple the workload of everyone. And that's if everything is working!!!

In your shoes, I would get the primary relationship on very solid ground first, almost bullet-proof, because it will inevitably take some hits when you guys try to integrate a third.

Best of Luck,
HawkWolf

P.S., when you add a fourth, the number of relationships climbs to 11 (if I did the math right).

< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 5/11/2007 6:14:16 PM >

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RE: Im a dom and my vanilla Lady wants to become a one two - 5/11/2007 7:21:01 PM

slaveish

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philadelphia,

If I am not mistaken, your wife (companion?) has posted in the Poly Forum. I seem to recall the av. It might give you some insight into her question and the replies she received there.

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