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Elorin -> RE: curious fem sub... (5/15/2007 6:11:24 AM)
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I get contacted by male Doms wanting me to work with their fem subs all the time, but most of the time they want me to be a puppet doing ONLY what they want, with no chance to find out if there is a connection on our own or not. I reject those offers out of hand.
I have had a few situations where a fem sub contacted me, looking for a chance to work with a femDom. I am willing to get to know the sub, and willing to play with the partner present or absent. If the couple is a complete stranger to me, I would request that the maleDom be silent and watch, only speaking up if I was going to be breaking a limit or committing a massive faux pas (something the sub hates, or something that triggers flashbacks or panic attacks) OR I suggest that the maleDom get to know me independently so that we can actively coTop his girl. What I don't want is a backseat Dom telling me what to do or not do throughout an entire scene - if I have the experience the two of you want, I need you to trust me to use it and to use my own imagination and initiative. This is supposed to be learning what a femDom is like, not what your current owner is like filtered through someone else's body.
As far as I'm concerned, once I meet someone once in a vanilla setting, I'm happy to set up a play session. If I meet you for the first time at a play party I'd be happy to play that day, sometimes.
If I had my druthers, I'd have the maleDom partner there for the first play meeting, and then have a second play meeting alone - then let the sub and I decide which dynamic we liked best. I think having your current owner there first helps you relax and feel safer.
~E
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