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Sinergy -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (6/9/2007 5:44:41 PM)
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The two I collared (years ago) both asked me to collar them.
What I failed to do, and I accept responsibility for this, was to take context into account.
They both had nothing jobs. They both had no real future set up for themselves. They both spent a majority of their time on the internet or investing her life into dead end pursuits. I have worked
diligently my entire life to put my future there. I worked full time while I was in college. I worked
two jobs most of my adult life. While I am not really interested in "things," I want to be in a place
where I am not prevented by having things because of my lack of productivity. So I go to work.
I go to school and graduate school. I figure it is not possible to have too much knowledge.
When I had those two submissives, it was a situation where I was making six figures, had a lovely place to live, and had a good life. The assumption on both their parts was that we would be married, live in my place, and they would be supported by me. At this point in my life, I have bought the t-shirt and I know how that story ends. This is not to say that I did not love them dearly, but as hawkwolf7 pointed out, this sort of relationship tends to breed resentment. In my cases, it did, and I am unwilling to go there anymore.
From an emotional standpoint, I think hawkwolf7 hit the nail on the head. I do not want the responsibility of being an emotional caretaker. I will stand with somebody and be supportive of them during their emotional issues, but I refuse to be responsible for waving my magic DomWand and making their emotional issues disappear.
I suppose the feeling that I am being cruel and distant to one who needs me is a self-inflicted crucifixion, but as I frequently tell people.
Good judgement comes from Experience.
Experience comes from Bad Judgement.
The sad thing to me is that good judgement comes with an emotional price.
Sinergy
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