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RE: Subspace? - 5/12/2005 5:10:27 PM

BeautifulDoll

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Yes I read what you wrote. I appreciate all of your comments and advice. I am not sure what was meant by the above comment though.

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 4:24:41 AM

sassysilk

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I think I might know the answer you're looking for BeautifulDoll.... Maybe this will help....

I am what they call a natural sub, but hate the term. I like to think of this as just who I am always, no matter if I'm with a dom or not, on the street or in my bed. Even my parents know :) I have experienced sub space in many ways.
One thing I've learned is that there is literally a sub space and a dom space. I consider my sub space the place deep inside of me to which I have no guard, I am completely open and vulerable, and this is where you'll find the root of who I am.
The first time I ever experienced it was with the first Dom I clicked with... While talking to him, I felt so connected, understood, safe, as if he was in my head/soul with me. Just the opposite is when I have tried to get into his space... That place he keeps from everyone else as well. It takes complete trust, honesty, and openess to be in this place on either end. When the two merge, to me it's no different than a vanilla couple clicking, but for us it becomes deeper because of the play and the roles we assume in our relationships. This can happen sexually as well... I personally feel that no Dom is truely dominating me, owning me, nor truely connected to me unless either we together achieve this place, he brings me there, or as what usually naturally happens over time, I can just be there with him....
Think of it as you have a shell. With most people, they only see what you allow them to. With your Master, you allow him to pear into your soul and be close to you by knowing every feeling, thought, etc that you have. It is here that you can feel safe, and most importantly the release of being yourself, whether you're more of a sexual submissive or find this is you all of the time. And in incredibly simple terms, you can compare the idea to the difference between feeling comfortable enough to just suddenly get undressed and be comfortable around someone, yet you don't feel this with everyone. With him, you don't feel self consious, unsure, insecure, timid, or any of those things. You just feel natural, open, and ready to give from your heart.

If that doesn't help and you'd like to talk further ( cuz i don't make much sense always at 7am lol) feel free to contact me sweetness :)

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 5:00:54 AM

mistoferin

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sassysilk, Sub space for me is entirely different than what you describe and actually as I was reading your post I thought that what you were describing was the feeling that I talk about in another current post on this board....."Not Sub Space, Not Sub Drop...so what is it?"

Subspace for me always comes during a scene or at times, it has even been triggered by just really great sex. Externally I am told that it is like this. If I am being scened, when I enter subspace my body relaxes and goes slack, I no longer respond to painful stimuli, my eyes are no longer focused, my pupils dilate and I get a very calm and serene look about me. I can't really respond verbally at this point. Every touch can generate an orgasm, even a stroke on my cheek.

Internally, it is very calm. It is like being enveloped by a cool mist. Color perception is different and I very frequently see things in shades of purple. Quite frequently there is a sensation of water running over me. There have been times when I can see the room, including myself, as if I am looking down from above. Mentally I am very foggy, kind of like after a good dose of morphine....lol. As I begin to come back down, I generally get a case of the shakes. The world comes back into focus in bits and pieces. I am very much in need of a warm blanket, a good cuddle and quite frequently I am extremely tired, although there are exceptions to that as there have been times when I have bounced up like I am ready to run a marathon, excitedly chattering and giggly. The effects can last for several hours after....sometimes even longer....and it would not be a good time for me to drive a car or operate heavy machinery...lol. Although, I may seem perfectly coherent...sometimes it takes awhile for that fog to fully lift.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 5:13:33 AM

sassysilk

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Ok, so basicly what that comes out to be is that you say or experience things differently than I do. That would be human nature. I was also trying to explain something to someone who might not know if she's ever been there. If you want me to get poetic for you, really I can. For me, I can experience by my own definition, subspace out of a scene. All that means is that you and I are two different people and as I suggested to this sub seeking knowledge is that she needed to learn what that meant for herself. Your sub space and my sub space can be two different things and that makes neither of us wrong. That would be like saying, if you don't like a spanking you are not a sub at all. Get what I'm saying? Everyone experiences things differently and explains them differently. I was putting things in simplest terms possible, because let's face it, the dumbest thing that sweet thing could do is go right into a dominants hands right now before knowing herself anyway, right? So, as the point of her bringing this question to the forums, I was giving her my persepective of things, therefore nothing I said was wrong at all.

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 5:21:54 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

I was giving her my persepective of things, therefore nothing I said was wrong at all.

I think you misunderstood, I was not trying to imply that you were wrong at all...just that my experience is different than what you describe. Not that either are wrong. I was merely giving her my perspective....which is not the same as yours. Nothing more...nothing less.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 5:28:45 AM

sassysilk

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I'm glad that's understood :) And if you were to go through and read the full post I was merely doing what the others did, therefore there was no reason to single my name out.

< Message edited by sassysilk -- 5/13/2005 5:29:08 AM >

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 5:35:12 AM

mistoferin

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ok....not exactly sure where the breakdown here is....I wasn't singling you out....I was responding to you....that is what message boards are for....I did read your whole post and it touched me and that is why I responded....nowhere did I say you were in any way wrong...actually the first line of my post states that my response is merely different...I am very sorry if you took this personally in some way

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 1:21:30 PM

BeautifulDoll

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I like the fact that everyone has given me different responses some were easier for me to understand and put in such a way that I could sorta relate to. I very much enjoyed what Sassysilk had to say. I was able to understand what subspace is, better through her explanation because I view a lot of this lifestyle in the same way she can explain it. I am very new to this as well as I am newly collared. I am just trying to understand things so I can get a better grip on them and be able to be the best sub I can be for my Master. I also enjoyed reading Mistoferin post as well she put things in another perspective. I like the fact that, that subspace is different for every person that is able to experience it. i hope to one day be one of those people, but for now I am just learning and trying to understand.

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 2:03:42 PM

sassysilk

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awwww Honey I'm so glad you were able to take something from my post. I'm also glad that you saw I was trying to explain it to you, as a dominant friend put it this morning, without the unicorns, to possibly help you to see where to find your own space. While it is definitely a state of mind and a release, for those who are like you and I, I'm learning that we approach it from a different angle. Either way, it's never going to be the same for two people, so the least we can do is help you to find yourself and your own way. The fabulous news is that it sounds like you have a Master who cares very much for you and will give you those gentle hands you need to learn and it's great that He allows you to search for answers from those in shoes like yours as well :) You'll find that place, I promise you! It just takes some time to get to know yourself as a sub, what that means to you, what that means to your Master and what he expects from you, and just a little time to get comfy in your place with Him. Soon enough, it will all just come together for you, but it will take some time. And don't be disappointed if you don't get the unicorns and pixie dust right away ;) You'll find your space when the time is right and you and your Master will grow from finding it together! Good luck, and know that you're a very lucky girl! I wish you all the best!

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 3:46:00 PM

BeautifulDoll

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How funny that you should mention unicorns and pixiedust, I love both of those things, not that it has anything to do with this thread or anything but just a side note. Lol. Thank you very much for all of your advice and help. It is so hard trying to be comfortable in my own skin, let alone be comfortable around my Master. I never imagined it to be this hard but it is. All it may be hard right now, I know it will pay off in the end and make my Master and I much closer then we already are. I can not wait for the day when I can look back at the once shy, insecure, low self-esteem little girl I was when entering this lifestyle and be proud of who I have become through the help of my Master.

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 9:40:42 PM

harmony3709

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Subspace for me always comes during a scene or at times, it has even been triggered by just really great sex. Externally I am told that it is like this. If I am being scened, when I enter subspace my body relaxes and goes slack, I no longer respond to painful stimuli, my eyes are no longer focused, my pupils dilate and I get a very calm and serene look about me. I can't really respond verbally at this point. Every touch can generate an orgasm, even a stroke on my cheek.

Internally, it is very calm. It is like being enveloped by a cool mist. Color perception is different and I very frequently see things in shades of purple. Quite frequently there is a sensation of water running over me. There have been times when I can see the room, including myself, as if I am looking down from above. Mentally I am very foggy, kind of like after a good dose of morphine....lol. As I begin to come back down, I generally get a case of the shakes. The world comes back into focus in bits and pieces. I am very much in need of a warm blanket, a good cuddle and quite frequently I am extremely tired, although there are exceptions to that as there have been times when I have bounced up like I am ready to run a marathon, excitedly chattering and giggly. The effects can last for several hours after....sometimes even longer....and it would not be a good time for me to drive a car or operate heavy machinery...lol. Although, I may seem perfectly coherent...sometimes it takes awhile for that fog to fully lift.

erin, i thought this was a great description of subspace the way I have also experienced it. I haven't experienced the colors that I have heard other people mention and as you did, but especially the mental fog and not driving a car, lol, I can definitely relate to that. I have found that for some reason, my hearing seems to become extremely acute and although I feel "detached" from what is going on around me or even from my own self......if someone speaks to me, their voice comes through crystal clear. Although don't ask me to repeat back what they said, lol. I also shake coming down and love the warm blanket and as is common with many I have met, giving that piece of chocolate afterward seems to help too.

Other than subspace, which I have never experienced except during a scene, I also experience what I call "subbie stupor" that is based on behavior and control and slipping into a very submissive frame of mind and is very different (for me) than subspace and I understand that much less than I do subspace. I will sometimes even have that same kind of mental fog though with that, although not as much or last as often. I don't consider that as therapeutic as I do subspace either.

Be well and play safe,
harmony

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RE: Subspace? - 5/13/2005 11:02:55 PM

BeautifulDoll

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I have never heard of a "Subbie Stupor," what is that?

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RE: Subspace? - 5/14/2005 4:45:53 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

Other than subspace, which I have never experienced except during a scene, I also experience what I call "subbie stupor" that is based on behavior and control and slipping into a very submissive frame of mind and is very different (for me) than subspace and I understand that much less than I do subspace. I will sometimes even have that same kind of mental fog though with that, although not as much or last as often. I don't consider that as therapeutic as I do subspace either.

hmmmm....would be interested to know if your "subbie stupor" is similar to the feelings I describe in another thread "Not talking subspace or subdrop...so what is it?"

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Subspace? - 5/14/2005 7:45:13 AM

sassysilk

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I truely do understand the fear, confusion, and everything you are saying, doll! Just be reassured that it's so natural for you to feel that way, sweetness! I can remember when I was where you are now and it seemed like the scariest thing I had ever faced because there was so much that needed to be learned and so much I needed to experience that I became overwhelmed at times. I think the reason you and I are on the same page so much is because like you, I also learned straight in an owner's hands of whom I was in love with and while it's a beautiful thing, it triggers such emotion because you have that natural need to want that person to accept you as anyone would in the vanilla world, then add to it the need to serve, please, and give yourself and suddenly you dunno how, where, what?!?!? AHH!! lol So, yeah, just know that everything you're feeling is normal and all will come to pass with time as you learn. I have known the name to whom I am for probably 5ish years now and there's still things I'm learning from others and learning about myself. Remember that it's completely natural for who you are and don't let it scare you too much :) Never be afraid to ask for your Master's hand, clarifications, etc and find the things you are already comfortable with and let them be your guide to enable that confidence you have deep down inside of you!

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RE: Subspace? - 5/14/2005 10:05:37 PM

harmony3709

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Actually, erin, I do think it probably is what you were describing on that thread. Unfortunately I've had less time to read the boards lately so didn't get a chance to read that thread until after reading this one.

And also in answer to the question from Beautiful Doll:

I just describe it as a non-sexual, non-play kind of mindframe that I get into that is only when around a Dominant whom seems to bring that out in my as a reaction to his behavior. It is not necessarily intentional on the Dom's part, although I know sometimes it is, but for me, my voice changes, my demeanor changes, my posture changes, and I become extremely submissive. That does not mean I submit to that person, but it is just a behavior or attitude. The reason I started referring to it as subbie stupor is also because if the circumstances are right..........my ability to say no seems to fly out the window and I have also been known to act a bit robotic or "Stepford Wife-ish".

I cannot stress enough though that for me, this is only something I have noticed will happen with someone I feel is dominant. In other words, anyone calling themself a Dom is not going to get that reaction from me. It's definitely a matter of the way that I see them and something that just trips that switch inside me.

Be well,
harmony

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RE: Subspace? - 5/20/2005 12:30:27 AM

BeautifulDoll

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I appreciate everyone's response to this thread. I have learned a lot of different takes on subspace and subbie stupor, now I guess, from here I just will have to experience it on my own and come to my own conclusions as to what it is to me.

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RE: Subspace? - 5/20/2005 12:55:33 AM

FelinePersuasion

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Every one reacts to things diffrently but I can identify with how doll says she didn't think it'd be this hard.

When my now X dominant and I started talking online I was so over whealmed so in awe of all this stuff I was often times feeling like this big wave had just rolled over me and I was left with the huh what why reaction:))

for a while we were not sure we'd ever get off the ground because my emotions were going haywire and at the slightest hint of command or something I'd start crying uncontrollably lol.

Sassy Silk not every one will be garenteed to experince sub space, for some it just never happens. But I do hope she's fortunate to know that experince if it ever comes.

I've been playing in real life since I was 19. into kink middle of 18 I'm 22 now, and only with in the last two years have I ever known subspace. First time it happend I wasn't even sure if it WAS even subspace:))

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RE: Subspace? - 5/21/2005 2:33:04 AM

BeautifulDoll

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How will i know if i do experience subspace?

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RE: Subspace? - 5/21/2005 6:51:59 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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As I said before, it's like an orgasm. You will feel what you feel and decide for yourself.

Don't worry about it, it's not this be all end all experience.

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RE: Subspace? - 5/21/2005 9:41:17 AM

Lepidoptera

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Internally, it is very calm. It is like being enveloped by a cool mist. Color perception is different and I very frequently see things in shades of purple. Quite frequently there is a sensation of water running over me.

Hmm... it almost sounds like you have synesthesia!

For me, subspace isn't hard to get out of at all- I can switch out of it in a snap. When I was working as a bondage model, the director would end it, and I'd go from whimpering on the floor to giggling and smiling instantly. It's almost like having two personalities. The photographer even noticed (with much amusement) that I react completely differently to pain when out of subspace- I make different noises, different facial expressions.

For me, being in subspace is letting fear course through me- I'm not sure if I'm forcing it out or neglecting to force it in- whichever it is, it makes me a completely different animal.

I am not a fearful person in normal life- in fact I scorn it. In situations where most people are afraid, I'm usually nonchalant. So it's a slow process to get into subspace- because I have to accomadate the feeling and work with it- but very quick to get out of.

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