RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time

RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (Full Version)

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fer0l -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 3:50:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: givemyall quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l My question was simply asking if any other subs had come across this behaviour with Doms - this has nothing to do with casual sex. In answer to your question, yes I have come across people with this attitude, a couple of times I thought sod it and had some fun because I felt like it. I think its the same in all walks of life, you can meet a nice person who wants to get to know you and understand you in depth before making any sexual advance and then you get the ones that want to taste the goods asap.. its just learning to judge them and play them at their own game whilst not getting hurt along the way. Good luck Yes, Thank you =) And I did it because I felt like it at the time too, was just wondering if it was expected, which now I know, its not =)

fer0l -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 3:55:00 AM)
LOL.. I find it quite amusing that instead of answering my question, some of you seem all too keen to bag me out for having a bit of fun. I just wanted to know if this was 'the norm'.. I did not put this post up here to be judged. Thanks to those who answered my question =)

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 3:55:23 AM)
yes this kind of thing happens all the time sadly....

Aileen68 -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 4:24:17 AM)
It's quite normal. It's up to you to make the choice as to whether or not you want that kind of interaction early on. You can control your level of submissiveness to doms that you are meeting for the first time and that level can be vastly different from dom to dom. Do what you feel comfortable with.

Aileen68 -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 4:25:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav yes this kind of thing happens all the time sadly.... It's not really any different then a guy buying you a drink in a bar with the hopes of sleeping with you. We are all grown adults and have the ability to say no or yes if that's what you want to do.

minnetar -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 5:12:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l Yes this is what I thought too, but then to be told that it shows your willingness to submit?? i have seen that line used repeatedly when someone is trying to get sex right away. Don't fall for it because it only proves they are trying to take advantage. minnetar

MercTech -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 7:14:18 AM)
Gad I, personally, do not want to get physical at a first meeting. I'm not going to let hormones run away with the wisdom. (keep thinking with the big head) I would consider a first meeting one to get to know someone and possible fiind out desires and limits. Not a way to get a serendipitous quicky. I suppose it gets into what you are looking for. Anonymous no strings sex is appealing to some. I'm interested in other things that take much more time to savor properly. Stefan

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 7:47:26 AM)
In the end, it comes down to this: If you are uncomfortable doing these things, don't do them. How you express your submission is up to you and the one with whom you negotiate. If you don't want to do this, be up front about it...then don't do it. No still means no. If you're patient, you'll find someone who matches what you want and need. Master Fire

Mercnbeth -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 8:37:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l Hi all I have been on collarme for only a number of weeks and have met a couple of Doms in real life. The thing is, the ones I have met want sex or blow jobs etc. As a submissive I feel obliged to do it, and even tho I enjoy it at the time, I wonder if this is considered 'the norm'. Anyone else had similar experiences? "the norm" around here is, some folks will label you a slut or a doormat if you "feel obliged" to blow or have sex with someone you have just met who desires it. they will also try to convince you that attributing that feeling of obligation to your identity as a submissive is dangerous, unhealthy or just plain wrong. this slave wouldn't label you in such a way or try to convince you that way, but it has been this slave's experience that seems to be "the norm" around here and also out there in the vanilla streets.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 8:51:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l My question was simply asking if any other subs had come across this behaviour with Doms - this has nothing to do with casual sex. Well.....hmmm....if you are giving every 'dom' you meet some type of intimacy (blowjob, handjob, ect), it has EVERYTHING to do with casual sex imo. It depends on what you're looking for, but, from here, (in my not so ivory tower) it looks like you may be sliding down a slippery slope. Be careful.

OsideGirl -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 11:10:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l ugh.. so gullible!! I had one Dom tell me that it shows that you are submissive... so its a good thing (?) No, it's shows that you're easily goaded into gratuitous sex. It has nothing to with being submissive or a slave. quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l My question was simply asking if any other subs had come across this behaviour with Doms - this has nothing to do with casual sex. Yes, I've seen this behavior. And it is about casual sex. Submissives seem to be an easy target, if that's what you're looking for.

slaverosebeauty -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 11:19:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l Hi all I have been on collarme for only a number of weeks and have met a couple of Doms in real life. The thing is, the ones I have met want sex or blow jobs etc. As a submissive I feel obliged to do it, and even tho I enjoy it at the time, I wonder if this is considered 'the norm'. Anyone else had similar experiences? You are under NO obligation to do ANYTHING that you don't feel comfortable with or ready for. When meeting someone for the first time, I suggest lunch/dinner/coffee and in a public place after phone calls, emails and when you have a sence of who the person is. I have played with men and had sex with someone on a first meet, but that as after weeks of calls, etc. Was I obligated, nope. I did what I did because I wanted too, it was mutual and I had my wits about me. [I take things a bit slower than most people and I take a LOT more precautions, after the psychopaths I have met, its for a good reason.I also run background checks and check referances.] Being submissve does NOT mean you are obligated to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with on a first meet, its like an interview. You would not start to file papers or answer phones or greet clients after a few hours, so why would you offer your body or give it?

slaverosebeauty -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 11:23:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l ugh.. so gullible!! I had one Dom tell me that it shows that you are submissive... so its a good thing (?) I always use protection =) lol. That dom wanted to get off. I am a slave, and trust me ANY top who tried to pull that on me would regret it, many times over. Look at it this way, are you a hooker or a submissive? A hooker does has sex with anyone, a sub or slave has standards and does what is safe and choses her partner(s) wisely.

fer0l -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 12:56:32 PM)
hhhmmm... yes... you are right. Thank you =)

robertolapiedra -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 1:03:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l Hi all I have been on collarme for only a number of weeks and have met a couple of Doms in real life. The thing is, the ones I have met want sex or blow jobs etc. As a submissive I feel obliged to do it, and even tho I enjoy it at the time, I wonder if this is considered 'the norm'. Anyone else had similar experiences? Hello ferOl. No it is not the norm (I know you are asking subs) and it is not for dominants either. Let's say we meet and are having a great conversation and suddenly you say: " I feel submissive I want sex with you or blow jobs (still sex?)" you'd get more 'rain checks' that one would think in 'that' context. You belong to the casual play crowd. You don't have to go to any 'special' forum for that. RL.

windchymes -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 1:13:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fer0l I am looking for something more, but I think some Doms confuse being submissive with being a slave.. or slut even ;P I have said several times to one particular Dom, that I dont just do things because a Dom tells me to. You have to be worthy of my submission. Apparently, you do.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 1:45:10 PM)
I would NEVER expect a submissive to have sex with me and I wouldn't think any less of her if she chose not to. However, if upon meeting me they don't crave me ripping their underwear off and shoving them to their knees, what's the point of going any father anyway? Sure chemistry sometimes builds slowly but my experience has been that either they crave my hand around their throat or we are just gonna be friends without too much in the middle. For me bdsm and sex is hard to separate, I have done it with special people but for the most part I don't take many partners and those I do I lust for and thus sex and bdsm are intertwined.

fer0l -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 3:28:22 PM)
I love it... I'm getting a bashing for asking a simple question.. if I was ever into humiliation, I'd come here!!

fer0l -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 3:32:50 PM)
ugh, get over yourself.. please!

daddysliloneds -> RE: Meeting a Dom for the first time (5/14/2007 3:36:52 PM)
tell me you're kidding[:(]

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