Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

For Pet Owners


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> For Pet Owners Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
For Pet Owners - 5/14/2007 5:46:59 AM   
ElizabethAnne


Posts: 1751
Status: offline
  DOG DIARY 
 
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 
 
 
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 
 
 
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 
 
 
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 
 
 
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 
 
 
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 
 
 
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 
 
 
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 
 
 
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 
 
 
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing! 
 
 
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! 
 
 
 
  CAT DIARY 
 
Day 983 of my captivity. 
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 
 
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed 
 
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. 
 
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I 
 
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 
 
 
 
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. 
 
 
 
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. 
 
 
 
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I 
 
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly 
 
demonstrates what I am capable of. 
 
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good 
 
little 
 
hunter" I am. 
 
 
 
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. 
 
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. 
 
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. 
 
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 
 
"allergies." I 
 
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. 
 
 
 
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my 
 
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this 
 
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. 
 
 
 
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. 
 
 
 
The dog receives special privileges. 
 
He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He 
 
is obviously retarded. 
 
 
 
The bird has got to be an informant. 
 
I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. 
 
I am certain that he reports my every move. 
 
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, 
 
so he is safe. 
 
  
For now... 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: For Pet Owners - 5/14/2007 5:48:31 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
Hmmm I knew I didn't like birdies for a reason!



_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to ElizabethAnne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: For Pet Owners - 5/14/2007 9:32:27 AM   
aviinterra


Posts: 208
Joined: 11/3/2006
Status: offline
loved it! sounds just like my mom's old cat!

(in reply to ElizabethAnne)
Profile   Post #: 3
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> For Pet Owners Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063