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Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 6:35:46 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Well I made it through another Mother's Day.   I work at a "casual upscale" restaurant where the average dinner for two people is easily $70 - $100.  Mother's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants, and is something that we in the restaurant industry both look forward to (decent money) and dread (lots of folks dining out who don't otherwise go to nice restaurants).  Holidays bring out lots of folks who don't necessarily go out regularly to "better" restaurants, and we experienced servers know who you are.

So for those of you who don't dine out often, I offer you some basic guidelines:

1.   If you want to go out to a decent restaurant on Mother's Day (or any other holiday including Memorial Day Weekend, July 4th, New Years Eve, etc) - make your reservation at least 2 weeks prior - have an accurate count of your party and be ON TIME for your reservation, with ALL of your party.   If you call the week before and are told that we are fully booked, don't try to harass us into giving you a reservation.   If you show up <gasp>  without a reservation, we'll do our best to seat you in a reasonable amount of time if possible, but don't count on it and don't pitch a hissy fit if we can't.  We'll try not to laugh and point at you for showing up wthout a reservation.

2.  Keep in mind that Mother's Day is THE busiest day in the restaurant industry.   A good restaurant will have extra staff to handle the crowds, but service may be a bit slower.  Be patient.  We're doing our best to make this a special day for all of our customers.  If you feel the need to constantly send servers on errands every time they come within 10 feet of the table, know that the experienced servers know how to avoid your table without you ever realizing we're avoiding your table.  You can certainly ask for things, but be reasonable.  If you ask us for another drink, don't wait until we come back to ask for extra ice or butter or for a drink for the other person at the table.

3.  Tables are real estate.   We chart every reservation with an hour and a half to two hour time slot for each specific table.  Yes, some tables are better than others.  We don't purposely give you the table nearest the bar, but someone has to have it.   When we're this booked, we probably can't move you.  We encourage you to enjoy yourself, enjoy your meal, but when you're done - please move along instead of sitting at the table an additional hour, because you're preventing the next reservations from being sat on time.

4.  We do our best to honor reservations.  However, because we rely on folks moving through in a timely manner and that doesn't always happen, you may have to wait a few minutes until we can shuffle tables. 

5.  Keep in mind that this is not your corner bar, but rather a fine dining restaurant.   We have an extensive wine list, some beers, and a full bar.  However, we do NOT have: Red Bull, Rolling Rock, Arbor Mist, Smirnoff Ice, wine coolers, etc.  Your server should be knowledgable enough to help you pick out something you'll enjoy so long as you can communicate what you're looking for (a light beer, a dry white wine, something that will go well with a ribeye, etc).

6.  When you look around you and the restaurant is completely full, this is NOT a good time to start asking us to make things that are NOT on the menu.  We're more than happy to make reasonable adjustments to current menu items.   However when we have mashed potatoes and you want us to make you a baked potato, or you want a chicken n pasta dish that you had at this other restaurant that you thought was really great but we don't have it...it's not the time to ask our chef to create something especially for you.

7.  Industry standard minimal gratuity is 15% of your total bill, including your drinks.  If the service was good, 18 - 20% is more appropriate.  A "thank you" and a 10% or less tip is completely inappropriate.  Servers make on average $2/hour (minimum wage for servers is BELOW standard minimum wage), plus we have to pay busers and bar out of our tips.

8.  Know the general layout of the menu and pricing before you make your reservation.  Most restaurants have their menus online so you can check.  This doesn't mean you have to know what you want before you even sit down.  However, we don't want you to be surprised anymore than you want to be surprised when you sit down and see how much the entrees are or that we don't have something you specifically wanted (i.e. a seafood restaurant isn't going to have more than a token pasta dish, let alone that Italian dinner you were in the mood for). 

9.  If you're going to a waterfront restaurant with 3 sides of windows, all with a beautiful view....you're not likely going to be able to get a fried seafood platter for $9.99.    Just like you can't own a waterfront home unless you're making big bucks, we can't run a waterfront restaurant without making big bucks. We offer great food and our food costs and alcohol costs are industry standard.  But this is not the place to come if you're on a Denny's budget.

10.   Just so you know - that $5 tip on your $70 check sucked....and we'll remember who you are next time you come back. :-)

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 5/14/2007 7:15:09 AM >

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 7:20:13 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

10.   Just so you know - that $5 tip on your $70 check sucked....and we'll remember who you are next time you come back. :-)

so true - i was a server and then an assistant manager and i would remember who tipped well and those who didn't no matter how great the service i gave them.  i had a good memory for faces and would warn the other servers about repeat customers who didn't tip.

oh another thing you forgot to add - Men: some resuarants do require that you dress appropriately when you dine.  call beforehand if a jacket and/or tie is required.  i have dined at an exclusive place before where men had to be in a jacket and tie before being seated ...jeans and/or t-shirt wasn't welcome either.


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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 7:24:44 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		So I'm on a roll today...lol...

11.   There is nothing magickal that the chef can do to a steak or rack of lamb to make it NOT DRY if you order it medium well or well.  Ditto for venison or ostrich or tuna.  And if you order that kobe steak well done, I think it's a law that we're allowed to drown you in a vat of white zinfandel.

12.  If you and your dining companion are arguing with each other, outright fighting, or are otherwise unhappy - don't try to draw your server into the fray.  Don't make disparaging comments to the server about your dining companion, and don't take it out on us.  

13.  Probably the most important thing to remember is that the folks waiting on you are SERVERS, not SERVANTS.  Huge distinction.  We're not here to for folks to be abusive towards.   We're here to make sure that you enjoy yourself, that you get the meal and beverage you want, and to help you when you need it.  In better restaurants, many of the servers have "come up through the ranks" and know our jobs.  A little common courtesy goes a long way.

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 7:38:57 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, my pet peeve. Fine dining with small children is really NOT a good idea............but if you must.....

Just because you allow your children to throw food, get up from the table and run around bothering others, scream and throw tantrums........at home....it is not acceptable in a restaurant. Not everyone thinks your children are cute and adorable. Some of us go out to eat at nice restaurants to get AWAY from the creatures. We do not want to have your child.... visiting our table, pulling our hair, or screaming bloody murder in our ears while we are trying to have a pleasant conversation.

All in all, the old addage of children should be seen and not heard is an excellent one. It worked for generations.


In addition........being an ass to a server that is just an employee inforcing restaurant policy doesn't make you cool, it just makes you an ass. 

If the KITCHEN staff made an error in your order.........remember the server is probably not doing double duty in the kitchen, it's not their fault. Politely bring it to their attention and ask them to have it fixed. Do NOT tip them badly for a mistake that was NOT THEIR ERROR!

Be appreciative for a job well done, both in words and the tip. If your too cheap to tip well, go to a less expensive restaurant.


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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 7:46:35 AM   
mnottertail


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quote:


5.  Keep in mind that this is not your corner bar, but rather a fine dining restaurant.   We have an extensive wine list, some beers, and a full bar.  However, we do NOT have: Red Bull, Rolling Rock, Arbor Mist, Smirnoff Ice, wine coolers, etc.  Your server should be knowledgable enough to help you pick out something you'll enjoy so long as you can communicate what you're looking for (a light beer, a dry white wine, something that will go well with a ribeye, etc).


So the Hennessy Eclipse Stinger is out?

Ron



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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 8:27:46 AM   
selfbnd411


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Status: offline 		This is why I swear by my local burrito joint when it comes to fine dining!

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 8:46:50 AM   
farglebargle


Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
Status: offline 		I disagree with the Reservations issue.

If *I* make a reservation for say 8pm, and if YOU cannot balance your load to make that commitment, then YOU need to fix your broken scheduling, by perhaps not reserving EVERY TABLE, so that you have a buffer when things don't run according to your schedule... OR perhaps put 2 hour, thirty minute blocks down if you can't manage your workflow better.



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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 8:54:21 AM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		Great post, i agree with all that was said.  Although I've never been a server,  I've been a hostess, and worked in the kitchen of a very fast paced fine dining restaurant, and helped co workers  by either dealing with disgruntled diners,  serving...making salads  or helping with dish washing and busing tables, and general end of the evening clean ups when necessary.

One very important lesson I'd like to impart....NEVER piss off the person who handles your food. 

I also can't believe the number of people who do not realize that servers make less than $2.50 an hour and that if they under tip...the server ends up actually paying for that diners dining experience as they are automatically taxed on tips  based on a percentage of their sales.  So...if they are taxed at  say 12% ( for the sake of example) and a patron tips 10% or less the server is still being taxed @12 percent.   Of course the upside of that is when people tip 20% or more   the server only responsible for claiming  12%  (again, i don't know the exact percentage and was just using 12% as an example)

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 9:15:53 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:



I also can't believe the number of people who do not realize that servers make less than $2.50 an hour and that if they under tip...the server ends up actually paying for that diners dining experience as they are automatically taxed on tips  based on a percentage of their sales.  So...if they are taxed at  say 12% ( for the sake of example) and a patron tips 10% or less the server is still being taxed @12 percent.   Of course the upside of that is when people tip 20% or more   the server only responsible for claiming  12%  (again, i don't know the exact percentage and was just using 12% as an example)


In upscale restaurants, most of your sales are charges - and you do have to claim all of your charged tips, PLUS a hefty percentage of your cash tips.  

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 9:27:35 AM   
b12345


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		On the flip side, if you are a regular fine diner, and choose to eat out on a very busy holiday, often you will find that the food quality is a bit less than normal, and the same level of attention to detail seems to suffer a little bit.

B

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 10:43:56 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I always tip 18 to 20%, 25 if its beyond my expectations [I'm an overtipper for the most part, especially if I am a regular], I have left a few times with a penny on the table and a note 'penny for your thoughts' if the service was below par. Do I feel bad about leaving a penny, nope; I understand that servers are buisy, but, a smile and manners are not too much to ask.

I do my job with a smile and with as much grace as I can, even in the midst of chaos [I was with  CPA firm during tax season and worked overtime on the 17th, so I do understand pressure], yet, I had a smile on my face and I held my own.

Then again, I am the person who calls the manager later and comments on excellent service or horrible service.

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 10:47:22 AM   
farglebargle


Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
Status: offline 		If a WAITER is dropping the ball, it's not the WAITERS FAULT.

It's the people running the floor, not noticing that they have a waiter getting blown away, and helping THEM out.

EVERY BAD WAITER is actually a BAD Maitre d Hotel.



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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 12:14:56 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

I always tip 18 to 20%, 25 if its beyond my expectations [I'm an overtipper for the most part, especially if I am a regular], I have left a few times with a penny on the table and a note 'penny for your thoughts' if the service was below par. Do I feel bad about leaving a penny, nope; I understand that servers are buisy, but, a smile and manners are not too much to ask.

I do my job with a smile and with as much grace as I can, even in the midst of chaos [I was with  CPA firm during tax season and worked overtime on the 17th, so I do understand pressure], yet, I had a smile on my face and I held my own.

Then again, I am the person who calls the manager later and comments on excellent service or horrible service.


I'm there with you...I hate bad service.   Some of it is lack of training, some of it is poor hiring skills on the manager's part, and some of it is the fact that there's a labor shortage in the hospitality industry.  But even if a server is in the weeds, a sincere smile and an "I'm so sorry it's taking so long" goes a long way. 

_____________________________

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 12:25:19 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		MsSonnetMarwood, i have a question about a pet peeve of mine regarding servers. Is it just me, or is it tacky for a server to ask "do you want change?"  instead of of merely saying "i'll be right back with your change" and giving the patron the opportunity to say "keep it" ?   Some will say that it saves a trip back and forth...i just think it's tacky...

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 12:31:57 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		I work at a similar type of restaurant as well and we ran a little special for Mother's Day that Mom's meal was complimentary as long as another entree was served as well, that being said I would like to reiterate a little something....

People, just because the meal was comped you still need to tip for the total of the bill before it's comped. In other words include that 12-18$ in the total when you figure the tip. I still had to serve it, prep the salad/soup, deliver the bread and pre bus the table etc...whether you paid for it or not. I still served two meals, not one.

To comment on other points...

Luckily in Cali we're paid normal minimum wage as servers ($7.80/hr) + tips. Our charge tips (and the majority of the tips in my restaurant are charge tips) are automatically taxed 11%. I have to claim 11% of my total tickets at the end of the night for the remainder whether I'm tipped 15% or not. Our state income tax is 7.75% To figure a 15% tip on your bill simply look at the tax and double it. Add a another $1 -$2 per person if you want to go towards the 20% level. Automatic gratuity of 20% for a party over 10 is not my rule, it's the restaurant's.

I agree with the person who said not to take it out on the server if something isn't prepared correctly. While I can obviously see that you were given rice pilaf rather than the smashed truffle potatos and fix it before the plate hits the table, I cannot see that your NY strip is not medium rare. Shoving your plate at me and yelling "Does that look medium rare to you, you idiot?" is not going to make me happy. Pissing off your server (not to mention one that is sadistic) is never a smart move. I am not in charge of the kitchen and I have little control over how fast your food is prepared. While I'm sypathetic that it's taking awhile, take into account how busy we are and realize we're moving as fast and as efficiently as we can under the circumstances.

Eating 3/4 of your meal and then complaining to the management about how terrible it was when I've been to your table 6 times asking if everything is ok is also a no no. If there's a problem tell me, politely, and I'll do everything I can to fix it. Waiting until you've eaten it all and then complaining just makes you look like an ass, or cheap, or both.

Allowing your children to run amok within the restaurant is never a good idea. The servers are carrying heavy trays that are delicately balanced with meals for 4 to 6 people. We are not watching where your 3 year old is running, we're watching straight ahead to make sure no one is coming around a blind corner or suddenly pushing out their chair to stand up. Tripping over your 3 year old and dumping a tray of dinners on a nearby table or ourselves or your child is not enjoyable. (Ditto for adults that are about to back out their chairs and stand up, look around and make sure there isn't a server coming up with a tray anywhere around you.)

We are not babysitters responsible for watching your child or what they are doing. You are. Don't just let them wander back behind the server run. There are warming tables, hot soup, bread warmers and the like back there. The chances of them getting hurt are good if you don't bother to watch where they are. It is not my job to continually pick your child up and bring them back to your table because they are running around unattended. If your child makes a huge mess all over the floor or table at least do something to try to help clean up the damage. We're servers, not maids. 

Order in a, well, orderly fashion. Most servers start on the right and work around to the left. Or vice versa. It makes remembering who had what easier. 4 people all talking over one another and trying to order at the same time is exactly why mistakes happen. If you've ordered and decide to change something wait until everyone is finished rather than interrupting. Most servers will repeat back each meal placement to make sure it's correct before they leave to put it into the kitchen. Also, waiting until your order is 3/4 done in the kitchen and deciding you want your steak rare rather than medium means having to start over.

Asking for items to be made specialty (ie: no peppers, mushrooms or onions in your rice pilaf) means someone has to hand pick those peppers, mushrooms or onions out. It's made in big batches, it isn't added individually to each order. It slows down the kitchen and it is a pain in the friggin ass. If you don't want the peppers in your pilaf pick them out yourself when it comes to the table. If you do insist on it being done in the kitchen, don't bitch when it takes longer to get your order out.

If your server is at another table handling the guests there, do not snap, whistle, yell across the room or walk up and interrupt them in the middle of what they are doing. We're people not dogs. Degrading, humiliating, or being condescending to your server doesn't make you look like a hero to the rest of your party, it makes you look like an ass. I can't tell you how many times the other people in your party have apologized for your behavior while you were in the rest room.

General rule of thumb, treat your servers like you would want to be treated if you were doing their job. Better yet, treat them like they're your Mom if she was doing their job. Being an ass and tipping big to make up for your behavior isn't as appreciated as you think. A smaller tip and being treated with respect means a lot more. We really aren't there to make you have a horrible dining experience. We're there to make it special and enjoyable, and to be tipped accordingly.It's a team effort and you as the customer are as much a part of the team as everyone else in the restaurant is. However if you insist on being an ass don't be suprised when I call you on it. I'm only going to take so much before I can't bite my tongue anymore. I'll do it with the utmost politeness but I am definitely going to call you on your boorish behavior. Most waitstaff have great memories. We remember who treated us like shit and who treated us with respect, who tipped us well for the great service we gave and who didn't. We remember it for a looooong time.

I don't plan on waiting tables for the rest of my life, it's a stopgap to pay the bills while I'm in school. It does not mean I'm not smart enough to do anything "better" with my life. Don't assume that just because I'm waiting tables it means I can't do anything else. Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot just because I'm taking your order.  I wait tables because it's great money and I genuinely enjoy people. Most waitstaff have full time jobs, are in school, or are doing so to make ends meet. Trust me, I am not paid enough to take your shit. I'm only going to smile and ignore it for so long.


I recently had one of those nightmare tables that everyone dreads and makes you want to go and beat the living hell out of the frozen custard box and scream in the walkin. He complained loudly every chance he got, talked to me like I was a 3 yr old and at one point called loudly across the restaurant "Could we get the bill at some point" (which was sitting right in front of him and had been for half an hour). The more I "killed him with kindness" the more outrageously rude he became.

The table next to them had a wonderful time and even joked with me about the ass next to them. The nice couple stopped at their table and asked what the problem was on their way out. The ass loudly explained everything that had gone wrong. The gentleman looked at him, looked at me and said very politely..."That's strange, we had the same server and couldn't have had a more enjoyable evening. Maybe the problem wasn't your server; maybe the problem here was you." I swear I could have kissed him!

rant over...sorry, I worked a double Mother's Day, and I'm still recovering.

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She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 12:33:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Great list.

I often read waiterrant.net  Up until last summer it was a frequent and very amusing blog to read about the horrors of waiting at a fine dining establishment.

Before this year I would have thought Valentines Day was the worst for going out to eat.

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 12:39:24 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
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From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

MsSonnetMarwood, i have a question about a pet peeve of mine regarding servers. Is it just me, or is it tacky for a server to ask "do you want change?"  instead of of merely saying "i'll be right back with your change" and giving the patron the opportunity to say "keep it" ?   Some will say that it saves a trip back and forth...i just think it's tacky...


I'm a server and it's just tacky, personally I never assume I should keep the change. I always tell them I'll return momentarily with their change. On the other hand if someone does want me to keep it, I appreciate their telling me that up front before I walk away.

Also, if it's a charge and you plan on adding on a tip, some programs won't allow it to be done after the fact, it has to be done at the time it's rung through the register. My restaurant won't let a tip be added on after the charge has been rung through. Best always to add it on before it's taken to the register rather than find you have no cash to tip with after the fact because you didn't add it on before hand. I hate having to ask if a party wants to add the tip on before I take it to be cashed out.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 12:47:44 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

MsSonnetMarwood, i have a question about a pet peeve of mine regarding servers. Is it just me, or is it tacky for a server to ask "do you want change?"  instead of of merely saying "i'll be right back with your change" and giving the patron the opportunity to say "keep it" ?   Some will say that it saves a trip back and forth...i just think it's tacky...


Yep, it's tacky.   I'm an "I'll be right back with this for you" kinda server. If the customer needs change, no worries.  If they don't, then they look generous by saying "no that's for you" or the like. Win-win.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 5/14/2007 12:50:53 PM >

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 1:14:21 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You Ladies, i agree. 

SCFemDom....great points...and very true...

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RE: Fine Dining vs. Amateur Diners - 5/14/2007 1:41:51 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		They say you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat waitstaff, and that is so true.  If I'm out with a guy and he's rude to a server and/or doesn't tip at least fairly, I don't go out with him again.

This thread reminds me of my all-time worst customer story....back when I was going to school, I waited tables at a well-known Mexican chain restaurant.  On Sunday's, everything on the kids' menu was 99 cents, and free refills on drinks.  We always started with complimentary chips and salsa upon greeting the customers.

We had this family of five who used to come in on Sunday.  Now, these "kids" were junior high/high school age.  Since there was no age limit posted on the menu, we had to honor their request for kids menus.  Mom and Dad each ordered a dinner salad, which at that time was $1.25 each, and water as their beverages.  Their "entrees" were the chips and salsa.  Between them and the kids, I spent the entire time they were there refilling the chips, salsa and water glasses at their table.  Those high school age "kids" blew right through the 99 cent entrees which were portioned for 5-year-olds and chowed chips and salsa like they were going through a wood chipper.  Left a mess like one, too.  Plus, they'd suck down those kiddy-sized drinks in one gulp and then demand another.  THEN, Mom would order a basket of the sopapillas....8 pastries to divide up between the whole table.  Plus more drink refills.  And no one ever said "please" or "thank you", they'd just hand me the baskets or say "I need more water." 

Finally, they were done.  Five people, and their total bill came to $9.00.  They would leave a $10.00 bill and tell me to keep the change. 

Sad thing was, they weren't "trashy" looking people, they appeared to be a fairly well-to-do family.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to spankmepink11)
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