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RE: Financial Domination - 5/15/2007 5:04:30 PM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
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Thought I'd interject for the benefit of all the dommes, financial domination is something i would only ever do in a LTR, and then only IF she were decent at handling it.

i don't care how much i love someone, if they're bad with money, they aren't getting a penny (i'll still give gifts of course but that's MY discretion). i say this only because i grew up in a household in the top 10% income bracket, and i had to go without food as a child because there was never any money, my mother was so horrible at managing it.

Being a sub/slave doesn't mean being stupid. ^_^

_____________________________

Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
Kioku shta ka?
"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 21

RE: Financial Domination - 5/15/2007 5:07:20 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

I suppose I should have mentioned that I am only interested in long-term live-in situations...lol I don't want to be responsible for EVERYONE's finances, or for that matter, just ANYONE's. Only the one who will enter my home.

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Post #: 22

RE: Financial Domination - 5/15/2007 7:13:20 PM

boundfem

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/18/2004
Status: offline

I was in a TPE with a Mistress who required complete control over everything of a slave's including the slave's assets and income. I turned my income over to her and she took care of any and all bills and incidentals. I was given an allowance for food and gas and had to ask to spend on anything else. Lord help me if I got something like a parking ticket as that was now wasting HER money.
I can't lie and say it was not hot sometimes or incredibly satisfying when I was kneeling and my Mistress was standing over me and inquired demandingly, "Your salary, slave?" And as I handed my earnings to her, she would go over a log book I had to keep with my earnings and spendings. (No, she was not only that way in regard to money; it really was no different than anything and everything else. It was all the same.) I also felt like I was working for her, that too was satisfying.
Unusual for a female sub? Probably.
For reasons I do not care to go into, would I do it again? No. I would never, ever turn money over to a Mistress or anyone again. Fantastically, I loved being controlled totally and I felt it really made my slavery whole and complete with no missing links. Realistically, without going into any detail, the end (it did not end for any reasons having to do with money) was not good and well, this is the real world with real banks, real bills, real taxes, and so forth.

That is from someone who defended her and this concept to all the naysayers who knew about it and told me I was out of my mind. In terms of an ideal, I can definitely see a Dom/me wanting TOTAL control over everything; reality, however, makes things work out a whole lot different.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 23

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 5:40:07 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlindUnknown

Being a sub/slave doesn't mean being stupid. ^_^

lol- exactly and I think that there is a mindset that expects this to be true. It takes an act of faith & bravey to take these risk. Still it should all be calulated and carefully researched. Its not much different then marriage, in a sense where you should carefully look at every aspect of the person you about to partner with.

If I am seriously considering someone to live-in and be part of my life I want to know about their past and the situtions they involved themselves in. I might even want to do a background check IF I have any red flags or feel the need. Still in all situtions there will always be a level of risk.

I have this rule when chosing a live-in- after a time, maybe 2 months they must return from where they came or go to a family members for a week. This gives us both time to really reflect and determine if we're ready for that commitment. If they return then we sit down and decide how the relationship is going to be. At this time we go over money, expectations and what happens in the event things don't work out.

If I take a personal slave it means that I truly do care about that person and their well being. I want them to be the best they can be so they can be that for me. If for some reason things don't click then I want to remain in their live as a friend. Its like any other relationship.

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Post #: 24

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 5:44:55 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

I've a question about this topic. One person (I'm sorry but I forgot the nick) said that assets were also included in his financial domination relationship with his mistress. Assets.. is that common?
Honestly I can't imagine offering over my assets which equal my future. I've no real issues over financial domination in general but reading that someone included their assets made me wonder about that particular aspect.
I grew up with the concept of 'Never ever trust anyone completely when it comes to my own money, especially my assets'. So it is hard to really understand that bit.
Thankies.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 25

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 5:47:04 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

cjenny
I think it is a matter of trust, the nature of the relationship, and the nature of your personality.

Some people want to give over everything. Others have a need to hold something back "just in case."

It's also a question of time. How long did the sub know someone before he gave over assets might be a very telling question.

~E

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'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

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Post #: 26

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 5:49:18 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I've a question about this topic. One person (I'm sorry but I forgot the nick) said that assets were also included in his financial domination relationship with his mistress. Assets.. is that common?
Honestly I can't imagine offering over my assets which equal my future. I've no real issues over financial domination in general but reading that someone included their assets made me wonder about that particular aspect.
I grew up with the concept of 'Never ever trust anyone completely when it comes to my own money, especially my assets'. So it is hard to really understand that bit.
Thankies.

This is a careful choice one must make. I think that whatever the slave makes while part of the household they should turn over to the home. If they have assets prior to coming there they should bank them, keep them separate unless they chose to turn some over as a level of commitment or gift.
I feel that everyone needs an exit plan no matter the sitution and a chance to pick up the peices and move on.

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Post #: 27

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 5:51:15 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Elorin. It's weird, I am fine with turning my future over to strangers at Smith Barney, yet the thought of handing over my financial future to a dom (or anyone including a spouse) makes me almost panicky feeling inside.
I'm putting it down to having grown up in the atmosphere around me.

I think this may just be one of the things I simply can't fully grasp. Grrr I hate that lol, I wanna know everything!

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 28

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 5:57:25 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I think you can reach a decent compromise too. There can be control from the dominant without losing all control yourself. For example, if you are not good with money and the dominant takes over control, there can be simply accountability of where your money goes. Perhaps you are required to give a certain amount to the household, a certain amount to personal bills and a certain amount to savings. This can be done and proven without the dominant having any real control over the checkbook. So if you need or want to go you can.

Anyone who is good with money can prove it pretty quickly by example when using their own finances. Even those who do not have a lot of money can show how they wisely spend what little they have. This will give the sub some confidence. Also, if a dominant can logically look at income and budget accoringly, the submissive knows exactly where their money is going and can make it happen without the dominant ever really touching it.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 29

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 6:00:53 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

MsKatHouston that bit I understand, agree with & wish I had heh. It was really the 'assets' part that threw me for a loop.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 30

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 6:06:08 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I think assets would come into play after a long term relationship. If my sub owned property and we were together for years then decided to build a house together on that property, perhaps we might address that. Aside from something like that I would not take it just because I can nor make it a requirement for a relationship. I woud look at it as building a solid future together and if one or the other has something to contribute to make that, great. If not, we would work together to build it.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 31

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 6:11:55 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

The assets I view the same way I view marriage...sorta. If you marry a person, do you keep your own separate house? Not typically, usually, you sell it and use the money to put into investments or another house that belongs to both of you.

Since I am looking for a long-term commited slave, one who will live with me, there is no real need for him to have a separate home. I don't want him to sign it over to me, and leave him with nothing, instead, I either want to move into it, if it is local and nicer than mine, or have him sell it and use the money for investing. I would be certain to put some money aside for him in case for any reason things in our relationship soured. I don't want him to be left on the streets if we should call off the relationship, but I also don't want money going to unnecessary expenses, such as an extra mortgage since he will be living with me. I fully intend to take care of my slave, make sure he has money for gas to get to work, money for child support (and investments for his children should he die, so they can have an inheritance), and other things.

When you trust someone to care for you, there really is no issue in giving up your assets for the betterment of the relationship.

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Post #: 32

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 6:35:30 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Domin8tingUrDrmz, when I got married my father insisted that I retain control of my personal assets. So yes.. I did keep that separate from the pooled resources during my marriage. In fact if I hadn't done so my parents would have likely disowned me lol.
I wouldn't have issue with sharing my assets, not at all. But handing them over?
I don't 'think' I could. I've been thinking alot about this & following this thread. It is one of the few on this subject that hasn't gotten nasty

.
Reading all this makes me wonder if it is a lack in me, an inability to fully trust. Or is it that I grew up knowing just what I would inherit & with my family hyper concerned about making sure that stays intact for the persons it is intended for?

I appreciate all the responses, thank you.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 33

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 7:06:23 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

As far as I am concerned what difference does it make who's name it is in if you have a long lasting relationship? You will both benefit from it. There are ways to intelligently plan for contingencies and break ups without having to toss everything to one party. If you are a millionaire and your dominant is not, the dom, in a healthy long lasting relatinship is certainly going to benefit from your money with a better lifestyle. If you choose for the dom not to work, there can be a plan to have some money that is just the dom's in case of break up. If the dom chooses to work, the dom will have adequate means to support herself. It does not always have to be an all or nothing sort of deal. There can be happy mediums.

Financial dominance is a viable form of control and one that makes sense in a lot of situations. But just as you would not allow someone new to bullwhips to go to town on you and have carte blanche on how they will tear you up, you should also not allow a dominant with no money skills to have complete control over the finances.

Don't assume financial dominance equates to tribute or greed
Make sure financial dominance is there to contribute to the household (however you define that)
Don't assume financial dominance benefits the dominant only
Make sure you are taken care of with your basic needs and a plan for the future
Don't assume the dominant knows what they are doing
Ask questions and establish a trust level.

In other words...use your brain.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 34

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 7:08:27 AM

MamaDomme

Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline

With myself, I only do financial control in a live-in situation. A certain amount of money goes into a household account to take care of the bills, a certain amount goes toward allowance (lunches, gas, etc), a certain amount into savings for the slave as a "just in case" fund, and then some into a 'joint' savings.

I try to look out for any emergency expenditures and have a savings just for that. If the slave and I part company, they take their "just in case" savings to help them go on their way.

I don't do any type of financial control out of a live-in relationship. Just too tendious on my part.

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 35

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 9:13:14 AM

Copulo

Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

I don’t have a full time sub ( in that they live with me) but if I did then it would be within a relationship and as such both our money would go on the table each week.
Would I want to help someone who was not good with money?
No, because if he can’t control his money, then he can’t control his own exhistance and if he can not control his own exhistance then how can he submit to me? I want his subservience and not his escapism

What does a sub look for in a dominant? Someone who is very much in control of their own life in every way. The more in control they are then the more likely and successfully they can control the sub
What do I want in a sub? Someone who is very much in control of their own life in every way. The more in control they are then the more likely they can truthfully submit to me!

I can understand why some Dominants do this but its not for me. I refuse to be anyone’s minder.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 36

RE: Financial Domination - 5/16/2007 10:42:06 PM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
I don’t have a full time sub ( in that they live with me) but if I did then it would be within a relationship and as such both our money would go on the table each week.
Would I want to help someone who was not good with money?
No, because if he can’t control his money, then he can’t control his own exhistance and if he can not control his own exhistance then how can he submit to me? I want his subservience and not his escapism

*lauds the statement* ^_^

_____________________________

Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
Kioku shta ka?
"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

(in reply to Copulo)

Post #: 37

RE: Financial Domination - 5/17/2007 4:57:18 AM

MsVanessaNY

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

I enjoy controlling the financial aspects of their lives just like I enjoy controlling every other aspect of their lives. I wouldn't go so far as to call it financial domination, just financial control. They aren't allowed to make basic decisions as to when to eat, clean sit or stand on their own while serving me, so they certainly can't make more important financial decisions.

However, as I am not here to take their money, I don't go so far as to transfer their income or assets to me. They have their own accounts and what not, just that all access to those accounts is controlled by me. ATM Cards, Credit Cards, Online Passwords are all stored by me and once every two weeks or so we sit down and pay bills, ration out cash, etc.

It adds a wonderfull level of control to their lives when you control their personal "economy." the humiliation a well paid slave feels when he has to produce receipts to account for every penny he spent during the week is wonderfull. It is almost as good as the humiliation he feels when he must ask me for access to his own money simply because he may want to buy a snack on the way to work.

I have also found that their gifts and gestures to me increase when they are in this situation, and the mindf**k is great. Picture the scenario, they beg me to buy stuff for me. I usually make them perform tasks to get their own money back. So I may tell them yes you can have the money to buy me the jeans you know I like, and yes I know they are $400, so I will give you $5 of your own money for every mile this pedometer shows you walked tonight, have fun.

(in reply to BlindUnknown)

Post #: 38

RE: Financial Domination - 5/17/2007 5:07:59 AM

electrikfur

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

i honestly think that it can and does work offline, with long term couples..but if someone is talking about it and they aren't a pro or your relationship doesn't exist offline..you should run for the hills.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 39

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