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Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 12:02:55 PM

Tetron

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I was wondering if the desire to inflict pain, in the SM sense is something that people just all evolve to. Those who have been in the lifestyle the longest all seem to desire doing it, now obviously I have not read every profile available but I find that alot of them go that direction. I will be putting up a similiar post in the ask a sub/slave about if they end up desiring it after a certain time period.

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 12:07:46 PM

Celeste43

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You can't tell it by us. We're not into pain, we're into bondage. But I will admit that on the boards there is a majority of people into s & m over bondage. What this translates to in terms of people who don't belong to sex sites and don't belong to public groups I don't know.

I also don't know where you draw the line between people who have a little spanking with their sex Saturday night and people who use whips. Do they both qualify as s & m?

(in reply to Tetron)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 12:08:45 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tetron

I was wondering if the desire to inflict pain, in the SM sense is something that people just all evolve to. Those who have been in the lifestyle the longest all seem to desire doing it, now obviously I have not read every profile available but I find that alot of them go that direction. I will be putting up a similiar post in the ask a sub/slave about if they end up desiring it after a certain time period.

Not for me, not anymore. Somehow, somewhere, I lost my love of pain. Now, I can barely tolerate it.

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 12:10:27 PM

OsideGirl

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Everybody has some amount of sadist in them. It's what makes us look at car crashes, look at the other guys stopped by the cops, watch a fight, hell, watch boxing. Same thing with masochism. Why do you think so many people dip their fingers into the wax of a candle? It's been around for centuries, even before it gained the name of "Sadism" or "Masochism". So, no, I don't believe it's natural evolution. What's happening now is that technology has made it easier to see others that are in that realm. Society has evolved past Victorian morals (which is when being into Sado-Masochism, being gay, participating in oral sex or masturbation was deemed a "psychosis"). So, if anything is social evolution, where it's becoming more accepted.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/15/2007 12:11:12 PM >

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 12:24:30 PM

MstrssPassion

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evolved as meaning... look I left you boring fucks in my dust because I've elevated myself to a point you've yet to, if ever reach

NO

S&M is not a higher level on the evolutionary plane.. I think it is more in line with our primitive pasts

If the trials & tribulations that mold a species to evolve beyond their parameters is to evolve us to a place where we merely have to beat each other in order to become sexually arroused.... wow, what a disappointment.

I think we should start tossing people from high buildings so that maybe we might evolve to grow wings... now THAT might be worth a few sacrifices along the way. How about we start with the ones who start whining threads of how rude or mean people are to them online.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 5/15/2007 12:30:14 PM >

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 12:25:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Do I think we've all evolved to process sensations in various ways which are not at all identical across the human species and in fact may be extremely disparate from eachother? Yes.

Do I think we've all evolved to actively seek out and create particular sensations repeatedly, not only to enhance other activities, but for their own pleasure? Yes.

But that's about it. I don't think it has anything to do with labeling one's self as a masochist and/or a sadist or buying special equipment to further those endeavors.

I would also say I think social evolution in terms of giving people enough time and leisure to not need to constantly work to survive can ALLOW people to wallow in those particular elements more, but they'd exist either way.

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 1:03:39 PM

Tetron

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As a clarification my use of the word evolve in this post was ment more in the sense do people who have been masters for a certain period of time just eventually gain more and more intrest in SM, and to anwser and earlier question, my definination of SM does not inlcude things like light spanking or hair pulling etc.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 1:15:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tetron
As a clarification my use of the word evolve in this post was ment more in the sense do people who have been masters for a certain period of time just eventually gain more and more intrest in SM, and to anwser and earlier question, my definination of SM does not inlcude things like light spanking or hair pulling etc.

What exactly does your definition of sm include then?

S&M is completely unrelated to M/s orientation. As well, people both gain interest, lose interest, regain interesting, relose interest and so on with most everything over time.

What you may see more are sadists who, once experienced, are more able and confident to indulge in their more risky desires. Newbie sadists need to take it easy and make sure they know what they are doing, and may have some social teachings to unlearn.

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 1:15:16 PM

HeavansKeeper

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I would say interest in BDSM is an evolution in sexual liberation. It usually starts with a person realizing they're into some kinky stuff. Spanking, rope, a little pain with their pleasure. Over time, as they explore and research, they learn about the lifestyle. The expand horizons and hear about new things they would have never dreamed of. In theory, though, I would rate BDSM as a more primal enjoyment of the body. It has fewer restrictions and feeds many of the basic animalistic sexual desires of humankind.

With less bullshit:

BDSM is a natural process in de-evolution.

(in reply to Tetron)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 2:21:22 PM

Lashra

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I know when I started walking this path way back when I was 19 years old, anything beyond spanking, hair pulling and bondage seemed so unthinkable. Now I am a happy sadist, whipping and performing CBT on my sub who is a painslut. People do change over time and sometimes their tastes do as well.

~Lashra

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 2:24:48 PM

minnetar

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i do not believe it involves evolution or not. i am not into pain and others are. It is lol as they say their kink and who am i to judge.

minnetar

(in reply to Tetron)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 3:01:39 PM

Faramir

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I don't know that there is a settled, complete and authoritative understanding of human sexuality.

From what I have read, and my own, anecdotal experience, most paraphillias are developed at an early age. We sexual things like pain, or control, or woman panties, or feet, or whatever the hell it is, somewhere before or during adolesence. I've never met an adult who just developed, in a vacuum, a paraphillia. I've known people who had an inclination that blossomed or fully developed over time, but they always had at least a seed.

(in reply to minnetar)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 3:04:30 PM

Damocles809

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I believe SM is something everyone has the potential to enjoy.

Helplessness, pain, danger, all spark a primordial fear response.

The fear response gets the adrenaline flowing, and the adrenaline heightens one's senses, which makes one more receptive to sexual stimuli.

That same hardwiring exists in every person to one extent or another.

(in reply to Tetron)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 3:22:39 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Tetron, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In your question if the desire for SM a natural evolution, in addition you asked if there was a connection to the growth of a person's experience if this S&M increases.

In my personal experiences and knowledge, each person comes into the lifestyle and or BDSM differently, as to not be over generalized.

Strictly focused on S&M issues; some do come into this lifestyle with the flawed thought that they can come into what is 'modern' S&M as to beat some one up for the sake of beating without any consequences, responsibilities and sadly come in with some false sense of entitlement because they identify as Dominant/Top.

Some come into S&M for the sake of healing and or catharsis. Some with chronic pain often seek relief by placing higher pain in another area, resting their body by the relocation of pain in an artful manner. Masochists who have such pain can often share this 'rest' by relocation of other pain elsewhere.

Some come into S&M as an art form, as to play with the body's chemicals and nerve bundles which act as electricity and enjoy artful manipulations. It is an art form to which both enjoy the 'rush' and or 'sub space' and or 'intoxicated' feeling, without introducing foreign items into the body, such as alcohol, drugs and such.

What is also briefly touched upon, are those pains we don't see that S&M touches due to pain manipulation, which can be emotional, mental and spiritual pain; to which to purge and heal, catharsis is necessary but--the pain does not have to be much to trigger the catharsis as its all triggered by emotions and the mental realms.

How S&M maintains in individuals will be as individual as themselves. It must be viewed on a case by case basis. I do realize it is easy to generalize however, pain is a form of power and power is to have strength and control. It comes with responsibility and understanding the consequences when those pain boundaries are crossed and non-consensual.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Tetron)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 4:10:54 PM

happypervert

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From: Scranton, PA
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quote:

do people who have been masters for a certain period of time just eventually gain more and more intrest in SM,

Going from my own experience, I'd say no. I see the potential for someone's interest to grow after having an opportunity to explore in that direction and finding they like it, but that has only happened to me at the most minimal level and it hasn't grown from there. It is also easy for me to imagine that some others would have less interest in it even than me.

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 5:49:27 PM

lilpony

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no I do not beleave so

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 5:53:03 PM

junecleaver

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Hm. I've been thinking about this recently. When I first dipped my toes into the BDSM realm, I never thought I would consent to half the stuff I have. I used to have a phobia of feet, so strong that being touched by feet even accidentally made me nauseous. I kiss my Dominant's feet on a regular basis AND he has man feet. I don't really know how I transitioned from being so terrified of feet to graveling at his. I just sort of found myself there one day and realized that somewhere something had changed.

I used to tell people I didn't have a masochistic bone in my body, even though in my mind the thought of pain was hot. I was intimidated at first by girls who talked about what a 'painslut' they were. I was intimidated by the toys. I felt kind of lame for not wanting to be beaten to a bloody pulp too. I also felt like maybe people wouldn't want to play with me because I had such a low tolerance for pain.

Over time, my tastes have evolved more and more towards the masochistic side. It is a mind over matter type of thing for me. In my head, playing hard and taking a lot of pain is super hot. My body however was more like, 'Motherfucker, that hurts.' until recently. Now, I can actually enjoy certain sensations that I never thought my body would cooperate with, so long post short...yeah, I think so.

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/15/2007 6:29:18 PM

MstrssPassion

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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tetron

As a clarification my use of the word evolve in this post was ment more in the sense do people who have been masters for a certain period of time just eventually gain more and more intrest in SM, and to anwser and earlier question, my definination of SM does not inlcude things like light spanking or hair pulling etc.

You might want to work on your definitions so that they are more in line with the majority... this will allow a conversation to start on the same page & remain there as well

Many people who are into the D/s. M/s aspect are not necessarily into the S&M & the same can be said of those who are into the S&M

I myself have a strong desire in both but I don't need one to have the other. My goal is to grow within both areas & to refine my skills to the best as both... as a master to my mate & as a master to my craft

Is it evolution... not in my mind. It is simply growth & exploration.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 5/15/2007 6:36:13 PM >

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/21/2007 1:52:37 PM

pet1313

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I'm kinda wondering if any one can tell me how does any one know if there becoming submissive or behaving like a slave, because I have I inner desire to do what ever my boyfriend tells me or any other man and I always do what they want I just want to know if I am becoming submissive or not. It's making me feel confused and somewhat scared.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

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RE: Is the desire for SM a natural evolution - 5/21/2007 2:25:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pet1313
I'm kinda wondering if any one can tell me how does any one know if there becoming submissive or behaving like a slave, because I have I inner desire to do what ever my boyfriend tells me or any other man and I always do what they want I just want to know if I am becoming submissive or not. It's making me feel confused and somewhat scared.

I'd be scared simply because trying to do what every male tells you to do is exhausting, impossible and dangerous.

However, simply having that desirei n place isn't bad or wrong at all and some people really do feel that way. Some men really feel that way towards all women. Heck, some people feel submissive to everyone they meet just about.

I'd focus more simply no making the right judgements on who to obey and do what's right for yourself.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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