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Pheonyxx -> RE: Question regarding Beauty (5/15/2007 3:46:12 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: softness
i smacked it upside the head ..
in all seriousness ... i have been carrying more than a few extra pounds ... make that extra stone .. since my mid teens. I have never been considered sexy by my peers, no one outside my family ever gave me a compliment about how i looked. due to the way i looked - add to the extra weight the piles of frizzy curly hair, braces, and being 5'9 by the age of 14 - i got bullied at school. i have a pair of stunning older sisters who are tiny and petite and doll like... so all in all the lil voice inside of me was not a kind one.
i have plenty of self confidence about myself in other ways ..i have never had a momets insecurity about anything other than how i look, probably because of how i felt about my looks i learned to walk into a room and command it in other ways, by force of personality
wheni went to uni i got myself a big group of friends because i was warm and friendly and outgoing .. not because i was pretty or attractive. but i remember catching men looking at me, eyes lingering on me, my first thought was always "shit my fly is undone!" or " bugger i have a stain on me!" ..
eventually i saw that the only thing stopping me from being beautiful inside was the damn voice, so i ordered it out of my head, some days its easier to ignore those thoughts than others ... but all i need to blot them out is to hold my shoulders back, sway my hips .. and even my BBW's ass gets appreciative looks!
transfer the idea - imagine you have a person in your life who always puts you down, who makes only negative comments, is critical, unsupportive, unhelpful, nasty, underhand - would you even give that person time of day? would you seek their company? would you even for a second consider taking their advice?
no .. so why should you listen to that voice just because it is coming from inside you?
Greetings Softness,
Thank you very much for your honest and open response to the question. I look at your picture, and see a lovely lady of character, grace, and beauty, and wonder how it is that people are so mean to themselves inside, when in reality they are truly beautiful (even if it's not in a conventional stick figure way). Growing up as the youngest of 10, (with everyone else being smaller and thinner than I) I felt like the jolly green giant on steriods.. by the time I was 15, I was taller than my brother George who up to that point was the tallest member of the family. Add on top of that, being rather heavy set and having a chest that goes around corners about 30 seconds before the rest of me does.. well I was just a bully's dream. I've always heard the statement "You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose some weight, you'd be really pretty", and if I EVER hear it again, it will most definately be too soon.
I've realized that for me, I AM beautiful, but my assets aren't in physical beauty.. I'm intelligent, loving, caring, giving (I too volunteer as much as I can), and I'm extremely loyal.. sounds rather like an irish setter, no? All kidding aside, it's nice to hear other women talk about how they ousted that little idiot that cuts us to shreds inside our own bodies.. For me it was my best friend helping me out along the way. Every time I said something that was hurtful or unkind, she'd punch me in the arm and tell me that someone was being unkind to her best friend, so tell that person to knock it off. After about 3 months of a constantly bruised arm, I realized that I needed to be more gentle with myself and allow for me to be beautiful within my own rights.
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