|
Texy -> RE: so new and so lost...... (5/16/2007 12:14:19 AM)
|
Hiya subdie,
From personal experience, it's hard to be collared to someone you've never met. For me, it was impossible.
Just some timeline skinny here: meet online, talk in chat, talk on the phone, meet in person, then if you both click, talk about training, then ownership, and then a collar.
I found the best way for me to know about bdsm was reading all I could and then meeting people. I drove 6 hours to go to a munch to meet people and talk to people in real time. I talked with many people that night about how they met and what was important to them at the beginning, and sort of got a time frame for how this really works in real time. I met a pro domme, just to make sure I could be restrained, and I wanted the experience without any attachments so I'd know what to expect in real time. I was invited to a private party and had my first play experience. Talked to submissives about what it was like to live this lifestyle, and a few slaves, a switch, and a Master/Mistress/Dom/Dommes. I also had a taste of service with a Mistress, and I was pleased and happy, really happy to serve. So I am a submissive, I know that today. I might have a slave heart, I don't know that for sure today but I'm sure I'll find what is in my heart the more I travel down this road.
As stated previously, there is a big difference between online fantasy and real time communication and interaction. Today, I crave real time. To the point I'm thinking of moving to a bigger city just to be able to be around a large bdsm community.
Today, there are things that make me wonder about a persons motives, and for me they are: 1) Talking of ownership within a few emails 2) Telling me I will send pics of any part of my body without establishing a trust - no time line on this, if i'm not comfortable yet - it's not the right time because until I am owned I don't have to do what anyone or everyone tells me to do and if a potential owner doesn't understand my safety and comfort level, then they need to move on...fullstop. 3) Asking me to journal private thoughts or daily events - that's a very bonding thing, and I'm not bonding that way again until I look in their eyes. 4) Micromanaging my life: i.e. picking out my panties, clothes, food, or having me call or email on any or every decision I make, that should be my decision to involve them or not and is not going to happen if i haven't developed some trust but still my decision not theirs. 5) I will not be owned before 6 months has passed, and that's after talking online and on the phone and meeting in person. Also I do ask for references now! Because someone somewhere knows them if they are involved in the bdsm community. I also can provide references and I am joining a group in Dallas this month.
These are just my guidelines and what I've gathered from talking to others in person and online. And it's working for me. To me, that's the best way to keep me safe in this lifestyle. That's the most important thing to me today, safety. Because how can I serve someone else if I can't even take care of myself.
Everyone has a different experience, and I'm sure you will gather quite a few from this thread.
You're starting your journey and that's exciting! I wish you well.
gayle
|
|
|
|
