Difficult to find (Full Version)

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Mstylady -> Difficult to find (5/11/2005 9:34:50 PM)

I have met so many men most of them are just looking for kinky sex and not a true bond. Some men say they are submissive, but they are just bottoms who again dont want to pay a pro dom. Then of course, you get the mind fers who tell you anything and really dont know what they want. I did meet one very special man, who was everything I desire in a partner, but he must have women lined up at the door for him and so it goes, and I refuse to wait around for anyone. So Mistress sisters, is this the same for you?



Kindred2Evil -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 5:10:52 AM)

I know your feelings Mstylady. I've had tons of email here...have even made and received a few phone calls. I've not met anyone face to face yet because it all flops before that point.
It seems the most of the men (I'll not say all) I talk to are in it for the sex and seem to think that because I'm married and searching for a sub that I'm a whore. Don't you just love it??
I keep plugging away, hoping that eventually I'll find the one who is honest in his sincerity, who truelly does long to sit at my feet and be of service.
Chin up Sister, I'm a sincere believer in there is someone for everyone...






ShiftedJewel -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 5:36:31 AM)

quote:

It seems the most of the men (I'll not say all) I talk to are in it for the sex


Amen Sister!! lol

And I have experienced the "submissive" men that even after being told repeatedly during countless conversations on instant messenger that my personal opinion is that the BDSM aspects of this lifestyle is a perk and not the priority, they are still shocked when they find out, or it finally sinks in, that I am not going to just jump right into "playing" the second I meet them! I've even had one tell me, after realizing that I'm not in it for just the sex of course, that he wouldn't take up anymore of my time and that he didn't need a "pen pal". Like that wasn't offensive enough, it wasn't more then a few days later that he messaged me again with a desire to chat! When I told him that wasn't going to happen, and why it wasn't going to happen, he told me I had "taken it out of context"! Talk about thick!!! lmao... ok, rant finished, thank you for giving me the chance to vent.

Jewel



brightspot -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 6:57:56 AM)

quote:

I have met so many men most of them are just looking for kinky sex and not a true bond. Some men say they are submissive, but they are just bottoms who again dont want to pay a pro dom. Then of course, you get the mind fers who tell you anything and really dont know what they want. I did meet one very special man, who was everything I desire in a partner, but he must have women lined up at the door for him and so it goes, and I refuse to wait around for anyone. So Mistress sisters, is this the same for you?

_____________________________

Cari


Excuse me, but for me the "lifestyle" is somewhat about "kinky sex and most of all LOVE"....Not Money!
Who was "this special" man? a Billionare?
I think a lot of you "Pro Dommes" have a lot of nerve to be judgemental. Who is the "submissive man" for you?? $$$$$ Signs?
Oh please do them a favor and Not wait!

*Brightspot



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:13:51 AM)

Isn't anyone else tired of the "complaining about the emails I get/the emails I don't get" threads?

I'm sorry if people are having problems finding good mates, but that's life. They aren't going to change, you aren't going to change.



Kindred2Evil -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:43:47 AM)

If you don't like the thread...why post on it?

Let's all have some tolerence, who are we to judge Pro Dom/mes? Or Pro sub/slaves? Christ people, a little compassion...a little openmindedness...I thought that's what this was all about? Being accepted no matter what your desires/kinks etc?

Just a curiosity thing



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:48:18 AM)

quote:

I think a lot of you "Pro Dommes" have a lot of nerve to be judgemental. Who is the "submissive man" for you?? $$$$$ Signs?


I don't understand where the "Pro-Domme" came from? Or the money statement... or are you just joining in on the rant?

Jewel



siamsa24 -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:49:49 AM)

Oh! I want to join in on the rant!
Ummmm, I hate the stupid emails I get from people that just like the picture of me laying on my bed and want to complain that they can't see my breasts!

[:D]



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:54:07 AM)

Well you DID get a free new camera!!!



siamsa24 -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:56:15 AM)

Yes, yes I did. But that doesn't mean that people get to see my boobies [:)]

And I guess I can't complain too much, I love playing with the trolls so when I get stupid emails I just play with the sender until they get fed up and leave, lol



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:57:22 AM)

quote:

Oh! I want to join in on the rant!
Ummmm, I hate the stupid emails I get from people that just like the picture of me laying on my bed and want to complain that they can't see my breasts!


Giggles uncontrolably..... can't say as I blame them there.... sorry, couldn't resist.

~~races to her email to try and figure out an intelligent way to phase it... Just kidding siamsa...

Jewel



siamsa24 -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:58:26 AM)

Hehe, maybe someday, when I get my nipples pierced I will show a picture of them



brightspot -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 8:17:30 AM)

quote:


Curious





Posts: 28
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: online If you don't like the thread...why post on it?


It is not that I did not like the thread, Kindred, I wanted to respond to it.
Guess Pro dommes, are sometimes blind when they are mentioned....i.e. OP.

*Brightspot



siamsa24 -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 8:21:39 AM)

I don't think the OP is a Pro. She mentions them in her post because she is talking about men who don't really want a relationship but don't want to pay a pro. I read her profile and although she emphasizes having a professional career and such I don't think that she is a pro.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 8:28:40 AM)

quote:

It is not that I did not like the thread, Kindred, I wanted to respond to it.
Guess Pro dommes, are sometimes blind when they are mentioned....i.e. OP.


I'm really confused now.... what is it about her that makes you believe she is a Pro-Domme? I believe that what she was saying isn't that she is a pro, but that some of the guys that email her are looking for just kink and sex, not a relationship, which is what she is looking for and don't want to pay a pro to have their kinks satisfied.

To add my two cents here, I will elaborate to say that many (trying not to completely generalize here) of the male subs that are only wanting to "play" tend to treat all, or most (really, really trying not to generalize toooooo much) female Dominants like that's all we are interested in as well.

Hoping I'm not to far off base here.

Jewel




SweetDommes -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 10:39:07 AM)

Brightspot, you are apparently the only one who interpreted the OP as being a Pro - others have clarified what she meant, so I'll spare you except to say that I agree with them, not you.

In response to the actual topic - it makes me very sad that a lot of guys who are into kinky sex but not the lifestyle seem to think that BDSM chicks are all easy and will give them exactly what they want whenever they want it. Even those who have seen a bit of the actual lifestyle can't seem to get rid of that misconception. It isn't even that they don't want to pay a pro, it's that they don't see why they should have to when "BDSM chicks are easy" ... It doesn't matter how many they run into who aren't, they still have that in their minds, and any who won't play with them right away are obviously fakes and wannabes *rolls eyes*



Mstylady -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 7:41:54 PM)

Thank you all, yes I am not a pro Domma. What I ment was that I find men who want a Dominant woman and search this site because they dont want to pay a pro. They are not looking for a relationship nor are they true submissives. A true submissive is not looking to fulfill his sexual desires, but has a need to worship a woman. It is about her and making his Goddess happy. This is hard for me to find.



brightspot -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 11:16:36 PM)

I'm Sorry Mstylady,
I did misinterpret your statement, when you said...
"some men say they are submissive, but they are
just bottom's who again don't want to pay a Pro dom".
Sorry if I assumed you were speaking of yourself.

I have read on the boards here a number of times..
Pro-Dommes, run circles around the issues of Pro Dommes,
being prostitutes or not. I could really care less, in fact I am
a supporter of the legalization of prostitution. I find a lot of Pro's
to deny the fact that it is a form of prostitution, I feel it is, and I
just think they should own it and call it what it is.

If I were a Pro and men paid me for my time, I would not find
shame in that fact or that identification.
There are needs and wants and some men willing to pay for it
I don't understand why Pro-Dommes are so adament that it isn't
a form of prostitution and are in denial about it.

This lifestyle can cause people involved to feel shameful and I
just wish more Pro's would feel more pride in the service they
provide to men,
who if they didn't get their fantasies met, could possibly be frustrated
andtake it out on women in a bad way. So I am greatful they provide
such a service to these men.
I say more power to them, but call it what it is and own they are in
it for the money.

We are all in this for our own Kink reasons, I think Sex is a possitive
act as long as it is not forced on someone. As long as it is SSC between
adults. Coming from the generation I did there was overwhelming shame
around sex and I find in the lifestyle that there is more of a celebration of
sexual activities, I just wish some could work though their shame about it.

I have no problems with someone being a Pro Domme. I do though have
problems with the denial and shame I sometimes see them emit.

I am having problems with TMJ and am on painkillers, so that may have been
why I misinterpreted what you said Mstylady, I appologize sincerely.

*Brightspot



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 11:17:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mstylady
I ment was that I find men who want a Dominant woman and search this site because they dont want to pay a pro. They are not looking for a relationship nor are they true submissives. A true submissive is not looking to fulfill his sexual desires, but has a need to worship a woman. This is hard for me to find.

I feel your pain Mstylady...
I understand you're not a pro, and am I thinking most of us understood you were simply saying that most of the men who approach you seem to be emotionally crippled cheapskates with no desire to go through the troubles of courtship and risk of emotional connection, but want to play without the inconvenience of having to pay a pro for it... I simply tell them to go to a Pro, that it would be cheaper.
Oh wait, maybe that is my own perception and experience, lol. I'll stop my own rant and spare everyone. [sm=lol.gif] [sm=tongue.gif]M



AAkasha -> RE: Difficult to find (5/12/2005 11:27:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mstylady

I have met so many men most of them are just looking for kinky sex and not a true bond. Some men say they are submissive, but they are just bottoms who again dont want to pay a pro dom. Then of course, you get the mind fers who tell you anything and really dont know what they want. I did meet one very special man, who was everything I desire in a partner, but he must have women lined up at the door for him and so it goes, and I refuse to wait around for anyone. So Mistress sisters, is this the same for you?


I encourage submissive men who are sincere in what they seek that they keep on trying, because in reality they DO outnumber the others. The problem is that it's hard to find these men when there are so many other types of subs cluttering the "waters" so to speak.

It always comes down to the motivation of the sub (what does he really want?) and also how well he honestly knows himself.

While people say there are hundreds of submissive men for every dominant woman, imagine the challenge that exists for a woman who is single and wants a *relationship* with a man who is single (not married), sincere about his desires (not just a fetishist), not just exploring "BDSM" as a new way to try to get sex, socially and emotionally balanced and employed. Basically, all the things a single woman would want in a mate, a boyfriend, a best friend, love and soul mate -- AND a submissive.

It's harder than it sounds!

Akasha



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