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ScooterTrash -> RE: For the angry masses... (5/12/2005 8:07:50 PM)
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To a point I agree with you haloscorned, but some degree of restraint is in order depending on the situation and the particular "act" at the time.
Many of the threads I agree have way too much drama and way too much "finger pointing", but being tolerant is somewhat different than just letting it slide. I don't give a rats ass about "normal", but I do care about public opinion with regards to the lifestyle. The urinating in public was I assume an extreme example...but "public" is the active word here...it isn't acceptable despite your lifestyle choices, if it's truely in a wide open, clear to the view of all..public. Discretion is a valued asset, as an "in your face" approach will only bring negative sentement. It's as bad as what the news does to us if someone is found slain in what appears to be a "typical bondage for fun" situation. You also hear the media throw Sadist and Masochist around like they are household words..hell most "nilla" folks can't tell you the difference...even though they try feebly to utilize those words in a sentence...lol. So no...I agree that there probably is no "norm", but some choices need to be made in many cases.
I as well have what would be considered rather explicit tats, but I do attempt to not offend anyone if I can avoid it. It also is who I am, but I am so much more than that. I prefer to not shock, I would prefer to educate given the option. Sure, it can't always be avoided and I'm certainly not trying to protect the world..but again..descretion is the better point of valor sometimes.
As for the intros that attempt to humiliate with the first e-mail...yes, there is the possibility that some (no way will I attempt a percentage, I would be crucified..lol) may in fact like this approach, but I would assume it is the minority. It may be more prudent to get to know someone before trying to interact with them in this fashion. I would not attempt to scene with someone without knowing them and certainly wouldn't attempt to scene with them by just walking up and start flogging on them...in a way this is similar in principle. So food for thought, perhaps humiliating e-mails are in reality, not consensual, it may have nothing to do with proper. I would have to think starting off polite might be a better choice, no matter what your role is.
Yes..we certainly as a group are unique and each unique unto ourselves. Yes, we should be tolerant and I have to believe the vast majority are. Yes, some come across like "their" way is the only way and I have to feel if they had time to think about some of their comments, perhaps they would have taken a different stance, but again, that is also their perogative. In some cases, I have seen flame wars settle, then the answers to the original questions come out loud and clear despite it all...alas, not always. But even though we have a right to our own actions, and I agree we don't necessarily have to sugar coat as you say... but we do have a responsibility to put ourselves in a favorable light, even amongst our peers to a point. Sure, those who are offended could walk away, but do we really want to drive everyone away and leave ourselves the outcasts? I think not. Of course if this is in a BDSM environment such as a play party or such, I agree, they need to just remove themselves if it's offensive. Many can't deal with extremes, in those situations, I agree, don't condemn, it is their choice, not yours, keep your opinions to yourself and sidle off to the next scene. As for in the "nilla" world though, I personally would like to find that key of presentation that could bring those not in the lifestyle to the level where they wanted to ask questions, to learn, to understand...but aquiring the skill reach that point and not run them off is a very lofty goal.
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