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Age of club patrons..... - 5/16/2007 4:53:57 PM   
kinkymrfox


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		Does anyone know why most fetish clubs (and maybe the fetish scene as a whole for all i know) is mainly filled with older people?

Don't get me wrong i'm not ageist its just odd when you go to a club and most people are two decades older than yourself.
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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/16/2007 4:55:34 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		There are a few in the LA that are mostly filled with young people. It depends on the area of the country and who is running the clubs.

(in reply to kinkymrfox)
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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/16/2007 5:37:34 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well the stats I have are from the 90's when Different Loving came out and Gloria's research said then that the average age for someone "discovering BDSM" was about 28 back then.
I'm sure the average age has dropped since then with the increased awareness brough on by the Internet flood.

But it also depends on what sector of the "lifestyle" you look at. If you come at it from the Gothic Industrial Fetish Fashion clubs then the average age would seem to be about 25 or so. If you come at it from the educational workshops and social group clubs/ munches then the average age would be in the early 40's or so.

Try looking for a TNG group maybe they will seem a bit more in your age range you'd like to see and socialize with.
If one doesn't exist where you are then start one and watch it grow. There are many TNG (younger BDSM afficianados) that don't go because they feel they are talked down to by the older crowd.

Get a TNG group started in your area and then see if you can get your local clubs to set aside a TNG night for you guys.

(Most TNG groups have an age range from 21- 35 or so)

But try not to move exclussively in the TNG circle, sooner or later you'll be a hip cracker rather than a whippersnapper and you'll be those "old folk" that the young people feel talk down to them. LOL


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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/16/2007 8:22:06 PM   
pauliestl


Posts: 18
Joined: 5/2/2007
Status: offline 		If I want to be witht eh older crowd I go to the munches and other meetings.  If I want to be with the younger crowd I go to the goth/ fetish night at the dance club...

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/16/2007 8:26:07 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		perhaps you need an ID to get in most places especially if the place is serving alcohol. good way to lose your license here in Chicago is serving to (undercover) minors as part of a sting operation.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 3:19:48 AM   
DocTSH


Posts: 109
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		I can only speak from my experiences, however our local munch group is of an more mature crowd, although we are trying to network to get more age groups involved.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 3:37:16 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on the kind of club you go to. I've been one club where it's a BDSM/Goth rave type of thing. Lots of fun, you could buy beer and mixed drinks at the bar and you had to pay an extra 12 or so dollars to get a VIP pass, which is where all the fun happened. That particular club had a large population of youth.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 3:57:07 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Because this is a lifestyle and when you hit a certain age (for a lot of people) we have no one we want to impress so we do what WE want (dungeons and lifestyle events).  At age 21 *some* are still out drinking and getting drunk and hitting on people in bars.  At 51 people become tired of this and finally search our their actual needs.

I've never minded an age difference when I'm at a dungeon or fetish club because I don't go there to pick up people, I go to engage in BDSM or to learn from others.

For the record...I personally would not attend a kink function where drinking alcohol was an active part of the fun.  We can't always avoid being someplace that serves but promoting drinking and kinky play scares me.  Yes I know I don't have to drink, but I'd rather not see someone else do something stupid like get drunk and attempt fire play.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 4:10:12 AM   
Copulo


Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		The thing about fet and BDSM clubs is they cater for people into fetish and BDSM and anyone who is adult up can go and not feel intimidated by age.
We get a huge range of ages at our club, from 21 to old age and each night is variable. Sometimes we have a very large young crowd and other nights we get higher numbers of the older crowd and that tends to be based on who the DJ’s are and what sort of music we are playing.
Fet as apposed to BDSM tend to bring out the younger crowd. We have Torture Garden here this coming weekend and it will take around 3000 clubbers that are mainly 18 to 25. It’s much more orientated around fetish dress and hard house music rather than BDSM and so attracts a lot of vanilla clubbers too but they do still have dungeons. The problem for the more serious players is they don’t want to play in a dungeon that is probably being overlooked and grimaced at by vanilla people.



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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 4:23:02 AM   
Copulo


Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple


For the record...I personally would not attend a kink function where drinking alcohol was an active part of the fun.  We can't always avoid being someplace that serves but promoting drinking and kinky play scares me.  Yes I know I don't have to drink, but I'd rather not see someone else do something stupid like get drunk and attempt fire play.


Drinking and how much is drunk can be a catch 22 for a promoter.
The reason so many BDSM clubs struggle to keep their heads above water is because the bar take is always low. Like you say, players should not drink and most of them don’t or at least if they do its in moderation.
We also cant take as many customers because of the large amount of dungeon furniture taking up floor space so that in turn pushes our door price profits down.

If someone was to come to me and say Im not sure weather I want to open a BDSM club or a vanilla club I would answer, well do you want to be rich or continually struggle?

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 5:03:55 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		its already been said but it really depends on your area

the places I've gone to have been all ages... in fact there were a great deal of younger folk

I think it has a lot to do with the core crowd & the promoter. The promoter will put in place the entertainment that caters to the core crowd. I've found music selection to be a huge factor in this. If the DJ that is hired plays nothing but Enya & Enigma styles of music.... you are going to have a crowd that is 40 & over. If you play hard hitting music with a raunchy edge such as Angelspit or Rammstein... then the younger crowd tend to show up.

The older crowd tends to be the ones that will spend money.

So what does a promoter want?

A house that spends money. They really don't care what the age group is & they will keep their core crowd happy but I've seen venues completely die simply because of the music that was played.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 6:20:36 AM   
HellsMichelle


Posts: 63
Joined: 2/24/2006
From: HOUSTON TEXAS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pauliestl

If I want to be witht eh older crowd I go to the munches and other meetings.  If I want to be with the younger crowd I go to the goth/ fetish night at the dance club...


quote:

ORIGINAL: pauliestl

If I want to be witht eh older crowd I go to the munches and other meetings.  If I want to be with the younger crowd I go to the goth/ fetish night at the dance club...


Also for a younger crowd try looking up "The Next Generation" groups. They are designed specifically 18-35 with chapters popping up in many places. We had one form here the year I turned 36!

It folded though. As the leadership aged it had to drop out of the position. Well, with the leadership consisting of  people who had not learned from the established groups' elders how to groom other members to fill the void, it left them no one to fill their boots. In the end they had no leaders to continue the group. It was sad.

In our community, the formation of this group caused a big stir. Overall the already established groups didn't really support the seperatism of it, while I thought it was a much needed resource - and there were other supporters out of the age range too. I have seen too many great people in that age range show up at meetings only to be disappointed of the BDSM community's average age [and shape]. TNG's leadership also encouraged cross pollentation to the existing groups, while those same groups did not return the favor. I am not sure if it is the same in your area or in others, but it is worth checking out.

If there is not one, and if you are the right age, you might consider opening a chapter~

lv M

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 8:27:09 AM   
pauliestl


Posts: 18
Joined: 5/2/2007
Status: offline 		They tried getting a TNG here in ST Louis, I got on the e-mail list and never recieved any e-mails, I went to the website a few months later and it was perpetually under construction.  Also my partner is 39 and I am 35 she is not allowed due to age restrictions and this would be my last year.  I think part of the problem is the younger generations are not joiners, a problem that is facing all kinds of organizations. 

(in reply to HellsMichelle)
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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 8:45:42 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Running and frequenting a club requires a certain level of financial involvement, perhaps many younger people are putting their money elsewhere.

< Message edited by Alumbrado -- 5/17/2007 8:47:42 AM >

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 8:52:55 AM   
Copulo


Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
We only have to look around the many fet/BDSM clubs in London to see there is a new pop culture. Now that’s fine up to a point and the point is that some of the most renowned mentors are not part of these groups because of age restrictions.

When I look at people such as Fakir Masafar who is 70 odd and still suspending himself on hooks!! or even people like Midori, I know with absolute certainty that I can gain so much knowledge from them.

Someone recently pulled me up in my own club and pointed out this old guy. “not being funny” she said “but letting old men like him in is surely not good for business” I turned to her and said “ that man is one of my most admired mentors. He is one of the safest, sanest and respected Doms in the whole of the UK. She just shrugged her shoulders and obviously thought ‘so what’!!!

Whilst I totally understand a young Dom wanting to go to a club in the hope of finding a young submissive and visa versa, we have to take on board that if we really want to safely learn the art of good and deep physical play then we need to be able to turn to someone who knows there stuff.

< Message edited by Copulo -- 5/17/2007 8:54:12 AM >

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 12:02:42 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah.  Most of the people in the scene are much older.  I'm guessing because they didn't have as many places to find information as I did.  Some people say the internet 'ruined' the scene, but I'm pretty grateful for it as I probably wouldn't have discovered any of this until I was already married.  Also, the time commitment to a group can be consuming, especially if you are going to school and working.  If you are into playing, implements can be pretty expensive as well.  Anyway, I belong to a TNG group.  It's pretty awesome.


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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 4:38:53 PM   
Aliya


Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkymrfox

Does anyone know why most fetish clubs (and maybe the fetish scene as a whole for all i know) is mainly filled with older people?

Don't get me wrong i'm not ageist its just odd when you go to a club and most people are two decades older than yourself.



I noticed that different clubs attract mostly different age groups here in my city.

One has a younger 20 and 30 something bunch who love the music loud and wanna dance as much as they want to play.  My kind of scene.

The older more well established group go to a couple of other clubs more often, where their is more focus the fet/BDSM than the music and dancing.

I think it depends what one is in the mood for I guess.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 4:57:05 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

One has a younger 20 and 30 something bunch who love the music loud and wanna dance as much as they want to play.  My kind of scene.

The older more well established group go to a couple of other clubs more often, where their is more focus the fet/BDSM than the music and dancing.

I think it depends what one is in the mood for I guess.
Bingo, and pretty much sums up what happens at one club in particular in LA.

Management wanted to generate some business at a pro-domme facility. On Saturday night they have a very low cover charge. They serve high priced drinks and play loud music.

The younger crowd has a drink or two, compares costumes, dances, and has a great time, but generally don't play in the playrooms.

The older crowd hangs out a bit, listens to some music and plays, often drawing quite a number of spectators from the younger crowd.

The result, management makes some money. People get to use some great play space for a small fee, and pretty much everyone is relatively happy. Not much mixing between the groups. Exceptions on both sides regarding play, but generally those over 35-40 only come there to use the play space. 

I should add another group, lurkers, mostly male, mostly on the older side of 30 hanging around in the shadows.

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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 5:04:59 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

Because this is a lifestyle and when you hit a certain age (for a lot of people) we have no one we want to impress so we do what WE want (dungeons and lifestyle events).  At age 21 *some* are still out drinking and getting drunk and hitting on people in bars.  At 51 people become tired of this and finally search our their actual needs.

I've never minded an age difference when I'm at a dungeon or fetish club because I don't go there to pick up people, I go to engage in BDSM or to learn from others.

For the record...I personally would not attend a kink function where drinking alcohol was an active part of the fun.  We can't always avoid being someplace that serves but promoting drinking and kinky play scares me.  Yes I know I don't have to drink, but I'd rather not see someone else do something stupid like get drunk and attempt fire play.


The tops and dominants performing services are not allowed to drink. You buy the VIP pass to be flogged, have wax dripped on you and such. In order to be one of the "tops" you have to work for the club.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: Age of club patrons..... - 5/17/2007 6:07:27 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		When it was possible for me to attend either, i always picked the munch (although the clubs were fun in their own way).  i felt honored to meet those who were there, and had a whole lot more fun talking to people who were dressed, polite and rather gentle soles rather than the half/whole nekkid folks at the clubs. 

But..that was probably just me..lol.

cheers
jimini

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