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Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 6:46:15 PM

sincityprincess

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My boyfriend/dom used to be involved in the swinger lifestyle (referred to as "the lifestyle" by those who are in it) and we have been pursuing the D/s lifestyle for over a year (hmm also referred to as "the lifestyle" by those who are in it).

I understand having to be careful about mixing the two because certain aspects of BDSM get blurry when crossed with sex...but let's face it--it's not like the two things don't go together! You are just not supposed to fuck at a BDSM Play Party and most of the time Spanking/Whipping etc. isn't supposed to go with Swingers parties....

But surely there are BDSM folks into swinging?? Or swingers into BDSM? Where are they and how do we find them????????

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 6:55:09 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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They exist, but rarely. BDSMers are weird about sex the same way swingers are weird about authority transfer.

I'm not sure what's near you, but events like Dark Odyssey and Leather Retreat on the East Coast are extremely sex and swing friendly.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_566255/mpage_1/key_swinging/tm.htm#566423
Mixed functions...Ds and swinging?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_236085/mpage_1/key_swinging/tm.htm#236570
1 femdom to another: swing clubs?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_32045/mpage_1/key_swinging/tm.htm#32045
Swinging and the scene

http://www.collarchat.com/m_294186/mpage_1/key_swinging/tm.htm#294186
Swinging parties and you

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 6:55:25 PM

mp072004

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Sure, there are swingers into BDSM and BDSMers who swing. I don't know of a formally arranged "overlap" network, though.

There are also poly and otherwise non-monogamous people who do BDSM--quite a lot, at least among my circle of acquaintances. If that's something that attracts you, you might look into that overlap area as well.

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 7:13:34 PM

mstrjx

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My first exposure to the Lifestyle was with a large (very large) group that met at a suburban hotel/motel on a Saturday every month or every-other-month. The afternoon would have demonstrations/discussion (usually 2 or 3 or more breakout groups with a choice of what to go see), followed by a play party on Saturday night in the 'ballroom'. Very pan-sexual, pan-interest.

But that group was spawned by members who were also in a swingers group that would frequent the same hotel a different Saturday (or maybe it was the 'other' of the 'every other month'). The two didn't get together, but one begot the other.

Jeff

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 8:12:17 PM

charismagirrl

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There is definitely a correlation in some relationships. Daddy and i have gone to a swing place and plan to go more. He was involved with it before i knew him and so he's taking it slow with me. It seems logical in alot of ways to me, because the two things go together in the relationship i'm in (M/s and sex i mean) and alot of the things we have interest in fall nicely into the swinger arena.

i'm a little weird about it only because i don't know how semi vanillas would appreciate hearing me call him Daddy etc. in a sex situation...ultimately i don't care but it's still a bit odd in some ways.

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 9:17:02 PM

minnetar

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i have been involved in both. i think they are entirely two different worlds though and am much happier in a D/s lifestyle. Most folks i know involved in both lifestyles keep them separate. Most folks i know who believe in swinging don't have a clue about D/s.

minnetar

< Message edited by minnetar -- 5/16/2007 9:18:03 PM >

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/16/2007 10:25:37 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

But surely there are BDSM folks into swinging?? Or swingers into BDSM? Where are they and how do we find them????????

There used to be a club in LA, primarily for swingers, but with a small 'dungeon' play room. We used to go because it had great DJ's and fun events. The people were very friendly .We are in the "soft swingers" category. We met some people who became friends. Some nights we turned some couples to, what we referred to as the "dark side" (lol). After awhile I used to carry extra clothes pins and clamps to share. It's closed now unfortunately.

Clubs are a good place. Go to a swingers club and, if they have an area which can be used as a dungeon play room, use it. Take your toy bag and you'll find people who have an interest. There is more 'cross-over' than you would think. Just like any other casual meeting, set your limits. Swingers, like BDSM people, respect the "no means no" concept.

Have fun!

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/17/2007 1:47:54 AM

MissOchistic

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I am assuming you mean swinging and scening with the other partner, or else this wouldn't be an issue...finding plain old swingers is only a trip to MySpace away.

If it's that...that would scare me immensely O.O Well...i guess a Dom/me might have an easy time of it, but as a sub, i wouldn't want to be trusted with a stranger in a PE. Might i suggest starting out with some other couples who want to switch partners who your Dom trusts totally, and feels would be safe with you?

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RE: Mixing lifestyles - 5/17/2007 3:04:29 AM

LadyPact

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We're around, and there are probably more of us than you think. For some, it's not especially a mix, per se, but from My experience, it's easier to find the BDSM lifestylers within the swinging lifestyle rather than the other way around. Some of us are easier to spot through the other types of sites. You just have to look for the clues.

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