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losttreasure -> RE: The typical Dom (5/17/2007 12:04:03 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stella40
This is part of my rearch for a fictional character, so please don't flame me.
In your experience how closely does the profile outlined in the link below resemble the profile of a typical Dom?
http://www.hss.caltech.edu/~mcafee/Bin/sb.html
lol... Honestly... and some people here think I don't have a sense of humor.
It's kinda scary, but I've actually talked to one or two "dominants" that might have possessed the majority of these traits. Then again, I didn't consider them dominants... more like sociopaths. [;)]
Stella, while I don't believe there is any one behavior model for a "typical" dom, I do think this list identifies several characteristics that a number of dominants proudly boast.
Looking at the list, here is what I do recognize :
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming ... seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Who here has never seen the statements such as "slaves have no rights" or "slaves are for their owner's use"? And the idea that dominants dominate and some occasionally humiliate their submissives is fairly common and well accepted.
The big difference is sociopaths tend to treat all others from this view, where most dominants limit their domination to those few they have entered into a consensual relationship with.
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
lol... Does anyone know a dominant who doesn't feel they are entitled to certain things as "their right"? Any person, for that matter?
Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities.
I can't go along with the pathological lying thing, but this sentence struck me as applicable to some dominants I've seen. I've frequently heard boasts of some truly extraordinary abilities to train and control.
Incapacity for Love.
It's not necessarily "incapacity", and a bit of a stretch, but there are dominants who are adament about not being emotionally invested in their submissive. It is neither their desire or preference.
Living on the edge ... physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
I don't know about the gambling, but I've seen plenty of dominants who express an active interest in maintaining their freedom to associate with as many sexual partners as they desire. There is also an oft proclaimed desire to push boundaries and a readiness to physically punish for undesired behavior.
Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish....
I'm not sure that they believe it themselves so much as wanting their submissives to believe that they are all-powerful and all-knowing. These are often the ones who will claim they know you better than you know yourself and who will assure you that they know what is best for you.
Of course, who hasn't seen post after post of advice here in the forums where an OP has been advised that whatever the Dom wants or desires should be what rules. It's not surprising that some "dominants" develop a feeling of entitlement for their every wish.
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future...
This statement brought to mind those dominants who move from one submissive to the next, promising each that it is "forever".
Authoritarian
Name a dominant who doesn't favor complete obedience or subjection. [:D]
Okay, I'm sure there will be those who are quick to state they don't. My statement is a bit of hyperbole.
...seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
I'm not agreeing with the "tyrannical behavior" part, but aren't these some of the reasons for belonging to sites like CM and joining local communities?
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
And how many dominants here are looking for a slave? [;)]
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Again, a harsh and judgmental adjective, but aside from that it's not unusual for dominants to claim a desire to control everything about their submissive from what they wear to when they are allowed to use the restroom.
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
And how often do we hear that some dominants desire for their submissive to be enamored with them, regardless of their own feelings toward the sub?
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
lol... What would WIIWD be without consent?
I'm going to reitterate here that I'm not saying all dominants possess these traits, or that these characteristics are unique to dominants. The fact of the matter is, it makes no difference if a dominant possesses one, two or a handful of these individual characteristics. It does not make them wrong, nor does it mean they are a sociopath.
I just think it's rather amusing, but more from a bad stereotype of view... like those who think of all submissives as being emotionally needy, insecure and otherwise damaged goods.
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