Can dom/sub work if they are not together

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Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 9:21:37 AM

pleasure284u

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I guess this may be a question which you all know the answer to or which has been debated many times here, so apologies if you find this boring.

I have read a quite a bit about how submissives commit themselves to their dom. The main thrust it seems to me is that they give complete submission mostly in a 24x7 sense. Now I am wondering if the very nature of subsmission means that 24x7 is more appropriate than say occasional, regular sessions where dom and sub get together.

At the bottom of this, I am questioning whether I am kidding myself that I can enjoy d/s relationship even though i cannot offer 24x7.

Your thoughts and comments appreciated.

Mik

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 9:24:33 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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For most, 24/7 live in is idea and preferred.

For some, it is not at all ideal or preferred.

As well, Ds isn't just sessions or weekend kink vacations. A person is more than capable of serving and providing use and help to the dominant even if they do not live together.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 9:31:16 AM

juliaoceania

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It depends on what you mean by 24/7

I do not live with my Daddy yet, but I am his submissive where ever I go, although the plan is that I will eventually move in with him

You can be as much as you and she are willing to be, label yourselves.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 9:32:36 AM

KatyLied

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It depends on the people. I often wonder if I can do 24/7. I've been independent and on my own for 10 years and I'm not eager to have someone dominate me 24/7 (doesn't that sound very un-sub like?). I know for many that is what they want. But I need a lot of solitude and honestly, there are times when I enjoy not answering to anyone. So I'm pretty much conflicted about the entire 24/7 thing, but I would be equally so if I were vanilla, it's the entire sharing of space, time, priorities, etc. I sometimes think if I met the right person I would change my mind, but I'm not so sure about that either.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 10:31:15 AM

littleone35

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Well i don't live with my Master but i belong to him 24/7 just because i don't live with him dose not mean i am not always his sub. So i believe you don't have to live together to be in a 24/7

Matt's littleone

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 10:33:22 AM

KatyLied

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When I hear 24/7, I think of people who are residing together, sharing a residence.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 10:58:53 AM

SimplyMichael

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To me, living together creates a very different dynamic than when one doesn't. It is vastly harder and yet deeply rewarding, there is nothing like waking up next to your partner and not having to remember that you are leaving in a day or two. Dominating and submitting takes on a very different flavor when you live with someone that requires real communication skills, the ability to be vulnerable and revealing of your deepest issues and concerns otherwise the relationship will stagnate.

Doing it distance has its own pluses and minuses. On some levels you get to know a part of a person that isn't as easy to know when you are together, but it also is easier to pretend that things are better than they really are which is why long distance relationships always seem so deep till they don't.

That said, there is much that you can do. You can improve yourself in ways pleasing to your partner. You can work on things that make her life easier. You can work on things together, like a shared garden, or projects like fixing up a boat and learning to sail. With technology what it is, taking pictures and sending them is a fun way to stay connected, with anything from the palm of your hand full of cum to a cute shot of a squirrel or a cat sitting in a sun filled window.

Read books together, or read her to sleep, find a way to make yourself useful to her. I pick out movies to go see together, we have even watched TV shows we TIVOed together. If the connection is special enough you just make it work.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 12:04:19 PM

SirMIkeSD

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Can you explain what you mean by not being able to offer 7x24? Can you offer only play time or part time visits, it would help to understand exactly what you can offer.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 12:30:37 PM

pleasure284u

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Thanks for the comments above

To clarify,

I was wondering if this relationship can work even if the two people involved do not live together and share their lives 24x7. I accept what SimplyMichael says in that if they do live together it can be a very different feeling and different relationship.

I understand the point that there are some 24x7 relationships where the couple do not necessarily live together. I think i was wondering more along the lines of what KatyLied talked about ... being d/s when together, but not and independant when apart.

What i've gathered so far is that there's no straight answer ... it depends on the people, but it is possible to enjoy a d/s relationship even if not together 24x7, which is encouraging.

Mike

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 1:24:11 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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Not even can or wants 24/7. Many people think 24/7 included living together. It doesn't necessarily work that way. Many relationships the couples or family live separately. Sometimes they live in different states. It can and has worked for those that want it to. If everyone is on the same page then it will work.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 5/17/2007 1:25:09 PM >

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 8:03:26 PM

adoracat

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i agree with juliaoceana....i belong to Sir no matter where i am.

we dont live together....we dont even live in the same city. but i know if i need him, he's a phone message away. i've lived 24/7 and i really liked that...but its just not going to happen with Sir.

so i treasure every minute i get to spend in his presence, and save those memories to get me through to the next time we meet.

kitten, who hates that reality, but is glad for the time she gets.

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 8:06:24 PM

minnetar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasure284u

Thanks for the comments above

To clarify,

I was wondering if this relationship can work even if the two people involved do not live together and share their lives 24x7. I accept what SimplyMichael says in that if they do live together it can be a very different feeling and different relationship.

I understand the point that there are some 24x7 relationships where the couple do not necessarily live together. I think i was wondering more along the lines of what KatyLied talked about ... being d/s when together, but not and independant when apart.

What i've gathered so far is that there's no straight answer ... it depends on the people, but it is possible to enjoy a d/s relationship even if not together 24x7, which is encouraging.

Mike

Mike,
the first thing that ran through my head when i read this is that you are married. Is that why you can't commit to 24/7?

minnetar

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RE: Can dom/sub work if they are not together - 5/17/2007 8:09:05 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasure

Thanks for the comments above

To clarify,

What I've gathered so far is that there's no straight answer ... it depends on the people, but it is possible to enjoy a d/s relationship even if not together 24x7, which is encouraging.

Mike

Yes it can happen but you and yours can make it work if you really want to. Don't give up!

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