Reinforcing submission (Full Version)

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slavemaia -> Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 4:11:45 PM)

i've read alot of posts here and it seems to me that resistance and reactance to submission are pretty common. i myself suffer from it at times and am looking for things that help to reinforce and deepen my submission and my slavery. What, if anything, do you do to reinforce your submission internally? What does your Dominant or Owner do or demand that reinforces it?




Ericus1 -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 4:26:41 PM)

The little things are the most important.

1.  When i enter Mistress' home, i kneel to her immediately.  Doesn't matter if i did just work 10 hours out at a construction site.  Kneeling on all 4's, looking at the floor. 

2.  Inspections.  Feeling like meat or an animal helps remind one of their place.

3.  Refering to her as "Mistress."  She calls me "slave."  At home, slave is my name.


just some things that mean alot to me.

ericus




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 4:33:16 PM)

I find the best thing is time and experience together.  Working through the bumps life brings you tends to do all the work- no encouragement needed.

But some people employ mantras and rituals together.

And, as always, don't expect to feel a feeling in the same way all the time.  Let yourself be annoyed- it can make the good times better.




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 5:13:27 PM)

Master doesn't demand anything from other than my obedience. In 12 years I have never had to be reminded of my submission. It has always been there. My obedience to my Master is what continues the flow of our relationship.  He doesn't have to demand anything from me.  I know where I belong.  Life happens and there and up and downs in any relationship of any kind.




OsideGirl -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 5:32:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I find the best thing is time and experience together.  Working through the bumps life brings you tends to do all the work- no encouragement needed.
  I agree with this. D/s goes against many of the "red tapes" we were raised with. You don't erase 20 years (28 in my case) of "A lady never does xxxxx" with a moment of D/s. Most of my resistance was due to coming to terms with the fact that I could be a submissive pain slut and still be a good human being.




Einzelganger -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 5:54:47 PM)

In my former relationship, I had a specific name that was given to me when we were in private, or whispered in my ear when she wanted to ensure absolute obedience for a seemingly (in my eyes at the time) strange request in public.  Hearing that name instantly brought out my submissive side.  If she walked in the door and I was in the back room, and she said, "Hi, I'm home!" and I came out and kneeled...in front of her and her boss, well, that would raise questions about her in her workplace.  That way, the name she called me by determined wether she wanted my vanilla side or my submissive side at the time.  I absolutely loved it, too. *smiles*

-Einzelgänger

P.S.  I just realized this says "(in reply to OsideGirl)", but I hadn't really aimed this one at anyone in particular.




slaveish -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 6:48:14 PM)

Master is a very soft-spoken man but when he has to remind me of my place he speaks very strongly, reminding me that I am owned, that I am his property, and I that will follow orders. He also reminds me that he has a crop that sounds really cool when it smacks the bottoms of my feet.




charismagirrl -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 7:08:54 PM)

i ride on the reactance rollercoaster on and off (THANKFULLY i've been MOSTLY off for about a month whew!)

What's helped me is a bunch of stuff that i am consciously doing to help...
When i feel like i'm losing my 'center" i'll ask my Daddy for some slavey tasks to do ( something beyond what is normal in our home)
So here is the stuff that has been helping me
1.Peeing in my bowl once a day (per Daddy)
2.Whacking myself with this one toy called "the Nasty" 5x each day (per Daddy)
3.Kneeling in front of our contract and reading it daily. (self motivated)
4.Watching "the Secretary" (self motivated) (It's odd but watching the interactions btw them eases me alot)
5.DOING SLAVE ACTIONS- ( Daddy's concept in general but,self motivated)(by this i mean, making most of what i do relate to my Daddy and his care)
6. Sitting by my Daddy's feet (self motivated) (this helps me ALOT)
7. Using small utensils (i know it sounds odd but using a small fork to eat with makes me get in a smaller,safer place mentally)
8. Self training things (butt plug and stiletto heels mostly) (self motivated)

i could go on, but this stuff in part or in full has really helped me a ton








MissPriss88 -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 7:15:32 PM)

I'm rather new to this world, and face some of the same problems you write of here. I find that including time for building head space in the morning when I go through my daily routine helps me to keep my submission with me throughout the day. It's like waking up to eat breakfast just to jump start your metabolism. As I go through shower, hair, etc. I remind myself of what I truly think I want in life, in try to build my proper frame of mind from there.

Not too much but I hope it helps.

~allurette.




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 7:22:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissPriss88

I'm rather new to this world, and face some of the same problems you write of here. I find that including time for building head space in the morning when I go through my daily routine helps me to keep my submission with me throughout the day. It's like waking up to eat breakfast just to jump start your metabolism. As I go through shower, hair, etc. I remind myself of what I truly think I want in life, in try to build my proper frame of mind from there.

Not too much but I hope it helps.

~allurette.


Good for you! It is nice to see someone that knows what she truly wants. It is a hard thing to find nowadays. Good luck to you!




HeavansKeeper -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/17/2007 11:45:27 PM)

My Pet's submission is reinforced by her importance to "us." I told her a Dom is a shephard, and a sub is a sheep.  Without a sheep, a shephard is just a man.  Every since then, she has only aimed to please me, and by proxy, better serve us.  There are, of course, little things.  Any time she is presented with something, or wishes to present something, she kneels.  As her Master, I remember every teaching I've given her.  I notice every time she doesn't mess up.  Every successful application of my schooling weighs the same to me as if she grovelled and pledged her submission all over again.




Pezzle -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 12:05:25 AM)

I am still coming to terms with my submission. I tend to act up out of a natural silly/goofyness I have and sometimes it is very badly misplaced. Little behaviors and things are very very important in this dynamic, at least to me. For instance if I get "uppity" so to speak, he will grab me by the hair or the chin and look me in the eyes with this glare he has and ask me "To whom are you speaking again?" or something of that nature. Things like that... those really reinforce submission.

Some of the rituals he has in place in our 'semi contract' are interesting too. He is effectively eliminating two words from my bedroom (well it'd be weird to hear someone refuse to use the words 'why' and 'no' in a school or work situation!) vocabulary, impulse words they are. When he punishes me for uttering one of the two words, it enforces submission. Not so much that it's so important to not use those words -- I can use another word or phrase that means the exact same thing -- but he wants to enforce that very real psychological leash he has on me.

When I am thinking to myself, however, I have no mantra that enforces my submission. All I have to do is think of Him.

So yes... depending on your dynamic in particular, the little specific things remind us of our submission.




MissOchistic -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 12:52:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: charismagirrl


4.Watching "the Secretary" (self motivated) (It's odd but watching the interactions btw them eases me alot)








I love "Secretary". I've always thought her strike at the end was the most romatic, beautiful and downright sexy things I have ever seen.

That movie actually played a pretty decent part in helping me come out with this side of me.




slavejali -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 2:57:40 AM)

Personally I think at some point (for a slave) its really up to the Master/Mistress to enforce submission without that your just free floating. Now ok I can hear people now saying, thats the lazy way out or why should slave have to be reminded of her position but let me explain what I mean...

When you surrender to someone, you don't lose your intelligence, you don't lose your creativity, you don't lose your ability to solve problems, you don't really lose anything that are intricate parts of your personality, the good and the not so good parts of you are still there just the same as before..what you give up is your "choice' to be in control....so the effect of that (for me anyways)..is that you free float in the relationship and as an effect of that the only thing that can be done is to be taken, controlled and directed..without that you just keep free floating kinda waiting for some direction..if the lack of being taken and control continues you can either keep free floating or start taking back the control that you know that you are capable of anyways and the whole D/s dynamic goes out the window..thats just a natural progression to not being controlled.

I think sometimes, people think too much, .....instead of just relaxing and enjoying being with the person they are with, they start second guessing themselves, they start picking every little error in themselves...when it all comes down to it...a submissive or a slaves job is to just relax and allow themselves to be taken, dominated and controlled in whichever whichway their Master/Mistresses chooses.

If a submissive or slave finds themselves not relaxing in their submission within individual situations, a very simple remedy for that...."ask yourself what the hell your doing in that type of relationship?" You're either gonna realise its what you really want deep down inside and it will be enough to modify your behaviour...or...the reverse and the relationship is doomed (well the M/S part of it anyways).

Mostly in life, we only ever do happily what we really want to do...things we don't like we do begrudgingly..sometimes we just gotta remind ourselves what it is that really makes us happy.

I probably didnt answer your topic very well, but those are the thoughts that came to mind while reading it.

I just wanted to add:

This might be a good example of what I was talking about. In the past few weeks we (master and I ahve been really incredibly busy), all I have been able to think about is everything that needs to be done, I have been rushing here there and everywhere totally focused on the project at hand using all my intelligence, creativity and everything else in my bag of tricks, I was getting the job done. So anyways the other day Master walks into the new business premises and makes an announcement "jali wont be in tomorrow", he takes me outside and says "I want you at home tomorrow ALL day, you're not doing anything to do with getting this place set up tomorrow, we are having dinner cooked on time and everything in the house organised do you understand?"..I said "yes Master". I free float...Master takes control..I dont think very much about my submission, my slavery or anything else...thats the way it is.

Like its all very natural...there are times I might even disagree with him totally caught up in my own line of thinking and im gonna keep going along that way until he takes control of me...thats his job and his position in the relationship. I've already agreed to the relationship, already surrendered, I know its what I want and how I like to live....what else is there left to do but relax, be yourself and let your Master take control..however his style may be.




nonu -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 2:58:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemaia

i've read alot of posts here and it seems to me that resistance and reactance to submission are pretty common. i myself suffer from it at times and am looking for things that help to reinforce and deepen my submission and my slavery. What, if anything, do you do to reinforce your submission internally? What does your Dominant or Owner do or demand that reinforces it?


Resistance or reactance to submission may creep in once in a while. In my case, it happens rather rarely, only when i'm 'really' bogged down with work or under pressure regarding something from my vanilla life. Nonetheless, it DOES happen.

And when it does, what i usually do is find myself a quiet corner, sit down and think deeply about how different my life would become, if my Queen were to suddenly lose interest in me, or worse, find someone better and more subservient (i know that amounts to 'insecurity', but then submissives don't really have much of their own, do they? They depend to a large extent on their Dominants even for their daily dose of the feeling of well-being!)

So, when i realise how miserable i'd be without Her, the slut in me wakes up again, and i make the most of the next given opportunity, to give myself in totality to Her.

Similarly, when my Queen wants to reinforce, or as in my case, 'escalate' my submissiveness towards Her, She keeps me physically away from Her for long periods. During such periods, i'm not permitted to touch myself sexually, nor do i get to meet Her or talk to Her for very long. In the brief conversations that we do have, i'm allowed to tell Her how much more i crave to serve Her and devote my existence to Her, and She then decides how many more days of such 'fasting' i need to be subjected to.

Thus, by simply keeping me on a leash long enough to keep me physically away from Her, She induces a heightened level of submissiveness and servitude in me.




bandit25 -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 3:05:16 AM)

Although I agree, for the most part, with Keeper, I dislike the Shephard/sheep analogy.  Of course, I am one of those who don't particularly believe in "blind obedience".  As jali said, subs don't lose their ability to think, their creativity, their problem solving skills, etc. and the image of a sub as a sheep leads me to think of a "lamb to the slaughter". 




littleone35 -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 10:45:47 AM)

(fast reply)

I don't need to be reminded very often but all it takes is a certain look from Master and (well i call it) His domely tone of voice.  Oh of course a reminder he is wearing the strap ;o).

Matt's littleone




agirl -> RE: Reinforcing submission (5/18/2007 11:25:59 AM)

I don't do anything to reinforce it, though I'm certainly resistant to submitting at times. Nothing changes the fact that I'm owned. When I hate having to do something, the simple fact that I still have to, pretty much says it all.

M holds the reins and he can feel any resistance, chaffing or slack; sometimes he'll give them a good yank, sometimes he'll adjust them, sometimes he'll give me my head..... but those reins are always there.

agirl








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