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Najakcharmer -> RE: Women on this site wanting money (6/21/2007 1:14:45 PM)
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ORIGINAL: JamieTgPa
The BDSM community already suffers enough prejudice and misunderstanding from those in the "vanilla world". I personally feel it brings disrespect upon the community when women are "selling" an intimate experience of a sexual-erotic nature that should really be a personal exchange between two people who care for each other. The fact that it borders on prostitution (especially in the minds of Vanilla types) does not help our community become more accepted.
I see no difference between that point of view and a Fundamentalist Christian who considers everyone who has premarital sex, let alone kinky sex, a bad person and a social pariah. You have the right to judge for yourself what you choose to do with your life, but if you pass judgement on what other people should do in their personal lives, you become no different from the Fundies who hate gay people, transgendered people, kinky people and everyone else who doesn't conform to their personal morality.
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Ironically ProDommes sometimes are activists who seemingly try to encourage Vanilla acceptance of the local BDSM community, while simultaneously performing its most objectionable behaviour (in the Vanilla opinion).
Ironically, gay people are sometimes activists who do a lot for their community in terms of public education and acceptance, while simultaneously performing the objectionable act of having actual gay sex. Vanillas are uncomfortable with the idea of anyone having gay sex, so gay people who want to be good little activists really shouldn't have any. They should be celibate and never do anything that would be against straight vanilla morality. And while we're at it, let's just stop having any kind of kinky or S&M sex, because that offends the vanillas too. Heaven forbid we do anything contrary to traditional social roles or gender roles that might offend anybody, so cross dressing and transgenderism is definitely Right Out if you want to be a good little BDSM community member. Oh wait, that wouldn't actually leave much of a BDSM community, so I guess we should all just stop existing. I knew breath control play was good for something.
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My feelings about this are strong enough that I even refrain from casual socializing with women I know who are ProDommes. Unfortunately that sometimes works against me because they are often socially connected in the community.
Well, that's your choice. My own choice would be to refrain from socializing with you also, not because I am a pro domme (I'm not), but because I respect everyone's choices about their own sexuality and lifestyle regardless of how "popular" those choices are in mainstream society. People who are too judgemental to respect other people's personal choices and lifestyles are really not much fun to be around. If I wanted judgementalism, negativity and moral condemnation in my life I'd join a Fundie church. As it is, I prefer to spend my social time with my brothers and sisters in the BDSM community who are respectful and supportive of the diversity that is who we are.
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