RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (Full Version)

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PsyVamp -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 3:47:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo

I agree with this. Physical attraction is the final clinch on weather we want to move forward or not. They don’t have to be the most handsome of folk but there has to be visual chemistry to a degree.

It doesn’t worry me if there isn’t a picture on a profile. I just accept that some people need to be more private than others and so long as they can send you a facial shot by messenger or email, then that’s fine.

I honestly don’t believe that all these pictures are genuine anyway. .......
Until I see someone in the flesh then I don’t take a great deal of notice of a picture.


I have a picture on my profile.  It was taken by someone who knows how to take pictures and not by me.  If it were taken by me, you'd see mirror smudges and flashs (or not all my face would be in the photo) [;)].
Of course it is one of my better pictures, (taken after a long weekend without much sleep believe it or not) but I have asked people that I met if it is a fair representation of me and they said yes.

I like an introductory email to tell me about a person, who they are and why they contacted me.  If any dominant will do then I expect them to say that too; a little honesty goes a long way.  I would rather see who it is I'm talking to, especially if they are quite a distance from me. 

I am not looking for glamour types, they are nice but some of them are too stuck up and think they can get anything they want on looks alone.  Sorry, I need a personality and some brains in there, add a bit of humor and common sense never hurts.

Psy




Mellissande -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 4:08:23 AM)

Psy, I just wanted to say I love your signature.


On the subject though, I think that When people look for pics and do not talk to someone when they refuse to show a pic, it is The Dishonesty that turns people off... "If you won't show me what you look like than you must have something to hide" not necessarily that you are ugly or fat, Just that you are being dishonest by omission... You can lie about anything on the net, but when you are too ashamed to show your face, it just kind of makes people not trust you...

On the other hand you have people who consider themselves fat, ugly, Plain... They may not like the way they look, but they have their pics up. I am not good looking by any stretch, but I have a photo. Two in fact. You can see who you are speaking with, I'd like to do the same... Especially if the conversation moves to telephone, or Meeting. I like to be able to see in my mind the person I am talking to... As do most people... But this is just my humble opinion...

Blessed Be,
Mel




asubmissiveheart -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 4:09:04 AM)

Many in the world are superficial, you can't change them, its best
not to seek them out.
You really can't change people much on a message board stella.




HutchGarahl -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 4:46:45 AM)

quote:

I agree with this. Physical attraction is the final clinch on weather we want to move forward or not. They don’t have to be the most handsome of folk but there has to be visual chemistry to a degree.

 
I guess i'm just an oddball then. I don't agree with this at all. Physical attraction has nothing to do with wether I choose to move on or not. It's how a person carries themself, their personality, humor, charactor....who they are on the inside. I've been with some people...who to a lot of others would look like a dogs backside. The girl I am currently with...by no means is she a supermodel....she's a bit on the heavy side, most of her teeth are missing and kind of looks old for her age. Her real beauty is within her. She's a wonderful, caring person.




PrincessEllie -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 5:42:35 AM)

Appearence isn't nearly as important to me as other factors like intelligence, humor, and their opinions, but it is something that I like to know about. I'm a picky girl, I'll admit it. With me, I either find you attractive or I don't, and if a base attraction isn't there then I really cannot imagine going farther with that person. Vanilla people date those that attract them mentally as well as some physically, I don't see why I have to be any different. Kneeling before a person and trying to submit to them when they make me make this [:'(] face whenever I look at them is one of those things I want to avoid.

But I'm also not really holding out for a male model. I just want someone who attracts me in a way that makes me want to submit to them. I want to want my Dom to want me. If that made any sense...




MissOchistic -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 6:45:33 AM)

I don't mind no pic, and will respond to pictureless profiles. I understand why some people don't want their real, unobscured face attached to their Collarme profile.

However, were i to meet someone in person, i would insist on a photograph first. Or if i started getting closer to them and talking more frequently, i would start to be concerned if they refused to send me any pictures or show me what they looked like.




Copulo -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 7:02:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

quote:

I agree with this. Physical attraction is the final clinch on weather we want to move forward or not. They don’t have to be the most handsome of folk but there has to be visual chemistry to a degree.

 
I guess i'm just an oddball then. I don't agree with this at all. Physical attraction has nothing to do with wether I choose to move on or not. It's how a person carries themself, their personality, humor, charactor....who they are on the inside. I've been with some people...who to a lot of others would look like a dogs backside. The girl I am currently with...by no means is she a supermodel....she's a bit on the heavy side, most of her teeth are missing and kind of looks old for her age. Her real beauty is within her. She's a wonderful, caring person.


And that is your prerogative!

I would not go out with a beautiful guy because of his looks. I have had my share of the good looking ones but if it is based on looks alone then I will be bored within 5 minutes.

Intelligence, a good conversationalist, a confident and amusing person are some of the dynamics I look for (if I were  looking) but I have to like the look of him too. At the  end of the day beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I may perceive to be good-looking, you may perceive to be ugly but if I looked at a guy and thought, ‘oh dear his looks are not that good’ then I could never feel sexual attraction to him and if I can’t feel that then there is no point going any further.




Copulo -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 7:03:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie

. Kneeling before a person and trying to submit to them when they make me make this [:'(] face whenever I look at them is one of those things I want to avoid.




PMSL.................... exactly how I think too!




Copulo -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 7:10:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

Psy, I just wanted to say I love your signature.


On the subject though, I think that When people look for pics and do not talk to someone when they refuse to show a pic, it is The Dishonesty that turns people off... "If you won't show me what you look like than you must have something to hide" not necessarily that you are ugly or fat, Just that you are being dishonest by omission... You can lie about anything on the net, but when you are too ashamed to show your face, it just kind of makes people not trust you...

On the other hand you have people who consider themselves fat, ugly, Plain... They may not like the way they look, but they have their pics up. I am not good looking by any stretch, but I have a photo. Two in fact. You can see who you are speaking with, I'd like to do the same... Especially if the conversation moves to telephone, or Meeting. I like to be able to see in my mind the person I am talking to... As do most people... But this is just my humble opinion...

Blessed Be,
Mel


But the thing is Mellisande, if you see a picture up how do you know its actually a picture of them? It could be a picture of them 10 years ago or it could be a picture of there son or daughter!!
Many people do not put a picture up because it is too big a risk regarding work or personal life and we should respect that but the one thing it certainly doesn’t do is make them any less real.
I met my guy on here 4 years ago. He didn’t have a picture up. Once we got chatting he sent me one via yahoo. I could of missed out on him if I had decided not to answer profiles without pictures.




darkinshadows -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 7:11:36 AM)

When I read this post, my first thought was to remember puellas 'I have fucked Lots of Pretty girls...' thread.
 
But knowing what you want, is not superficial in the slightest.  Settling is probably one of the worst things anyone can do.  People have personal preference - be that dark hair/blue eyes/over 6'/age range/asthetics/switchwanted - the list goes on.  One persons 'ugly' is another persons beautiful - be that inside or out.
 
The one reason I wouldn't spend time with someone who does not show their face on the net or be honest about their identity is simply because I don't have the time, nor the inclination, to lie or hold back information.  If a person requires to be private and hidden, then that is their choice.  I just do not want to be a part of all that and feel as though I must be careful of what I say just in case I let slip that I saw them or was with someone at a BDSM event.  It is just better all around that we would not be a part of the same circle.
 
Yes - beauty, symbols and outfits do change over time, but so does the personality and the 'inside' of a person as well and so many people forget that.  So do jobs, income and mental health, which is why so many relationships fail when people aren't prepared for the bad times as well as the fantastic ones.
 
Peace and Rapture




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: No pic no reply? What do you really look for in others? (5/18/2007 7:23:57 AM)

Yup, I demand it all, no settling.

Of course, I have no idea how on earth I got so lucky to GET it this early in my life- but I did.




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