RE: Whats its worth? (Full Version)

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sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/18/2007 7:42:24 AM)

I agree with all the responses and see most do want a conversation. And there are times to be quiet. Wonder why some haven't figured that out? Which I am glad I do have that kind of relationship with my Master.



Kinkypupper -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/18/2007 7:56:16 AM)

Most definately, alto some may thing my slave is not a "true" slave one of my list of "requirements" was to find a person who could challenge me.
Having a lively discussion about politics and religion is a good growth thing for both of us.
I am secure enough in our relationship that I encourage her outwardness toward others.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/18/2007 8:09:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW
I agree with all the responses and see most do want a conversation. And there are times to be quiet. Wonder why some haven't figured that out? Which I am glad I do have that kind of relationship with my Master.

Fear & insecurity & constant desire to divvy everything into little boxes

Subs are terrified that to submit means they will lose who they are, and they divide what a "sub" is into what she does/how she acts and it's all very horrible stereotypical stuff rather than reality.  So they buy into those imaged, get scared and realize they need to STRONG INTELLIGENT women.

Doms do it also, but it's more just buying into the image and wanting to project it.  I had a dom friend today say that he didn't feel it was domly to get naked.  Sigh.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/18/2007 9:41:11 AM)

I wouldn't have a woman who I couldn't sit silently and listen to.  As for being undomly, everything I do is domly, even rimming and I LOVE getting naked at a party.  To me, being willing to do things others won't because their label shackles them to an image is quite liberating.



NakedGirlScout -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/18/2007 9:44:06 AM)

My master prefers a slave who can mostly sit quietly and keep him company without the need for conversation. However, he got the exact opposite... hahahaha! *still learning to zzzzzip it*



Icarius -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/22/2007 5:22:50 AM)

Intellect is vital, but sometimes, as the saying goes, silence is golden. It all depends on the day and my mood.



RavenMuse -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/22/2007 6:29:02 AM)

The art of conversation is a valued skill (One of the disciplines taught to geisha!) and definatly enjoyed. Last weekend included a seven hour phonecall with My girl LOL communication plays a BIG part in our dynamic wether we are together or apart.

When I need her to, she IS capable of sitting quietly by My side. Though that is sometimes more difficult for her, she's a feisty lass *g* but none the less she CAN do so if I require it of her.



MissHarlet -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/22/2007 6:53:03 AM)

I require a person .. a whole person for a submissive, so of course I want intelligent conversation as well as some feistiness at times.  Haveing said that I must also say ..a submissive that cant sit quietly at the appropriate times doesnt last long either.  It's all part of the whole for me.



jaunty1 -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/22/2007 7:44:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

Do you as a Dom appreciate a sub or slave that can carry on a conversation?  Do you enjoy a sub or slave that can carry out her point of view on a subject or no? Or do you wish for someone that sits quietly by your side?

All of the above.
 
melissa does not speak unless spoken to, yet, she is quite capable of carrying a conversation and getting her point across.
 
Live well
 
Alex



earthycouple -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/22/2007 9:31:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

There is a difference between a women who can hold an intriqueing and interesting conversation and a women who just goes "chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp"

The first one I like a lot. The second will drive me up the wall.


too funny....*chirps as I head out the door*



Masque66 -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/22/2007 10:01:41 PM)

Of course I would want to be able to have a conversation with my sub.  If I wanted something silent and dumb...well I already have a dog.

An m/s relationship specifically requires as much communication as possible.  You won't spend your whole life in the dungeon, I want her to be a good conversationalist.  She may be my sub but I'd expect her to have opinions of her own.



eyesopened -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/23/2007 2:22:23 AM)

i was taught the art of conversation was to ask polite open-ended questions in order to get the other person to talk and then listen with interest, to not offer opinions unless specifically asked and then to limit responses to only enough words to express a thought or opinion.  in my own experience, speaking more than a couple of sentences in reply and the Man automatically hears "chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp"    On the other hand i've had some who say "gee, you're so quiet i thought the phone went dead"   Always best to know the speaking and conversation style of other person.  i communicate MUCH better in person than on the phone or in email. 



lateralist1 -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/23/2007 3:43:54 AM)

I like men who hang on to my every word lol.
I can talk for England.
Problem is that most of them get very bored very quickly.
If I do give them an opportunity to say something then I expect it to be very interesting and relevant.
It's a choice for them.
Of course it's easy to shut me up.
A hard cock to play with usually does it anytime.



SirDominic -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/23/2007 5:54:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

Absolutely 100%. Who wants a mindless drone? Get a pet rock...


Gee, and I didn't even know pet rocks were into BDSM. lol.

Seriously, I know Masters who believe slaves, as once was with children, should be seen, not heard. Should reply only when directly questioned. It seems to work for these couples, so I assume the slave is comfortable in her role.

Like most here have suggested, I would find that boring and overdominating, but that is my personal choice. Especially as my slave is a newbie, I encourage her to talk to me, to ask questions, to be active in learning her place in our relationship. More importantly, I have had to teach her that honest communication is very important to me, whether she thinks it is something I want to hear or not. One of the first things I taught her was she wouldn't be judged no matter what she said (as long as it was said in a respectful manner, of course). It was very difficult for her to believe that is what I really wanted, but has come to learn that I do mean it.

Many subs are afraid to say what they really mean or want because they so want to please their Master; to not disappoint them. I have found it necessary more than once to teach them that with me, at least, that is not what I want.

Beyond the M/s roles, we spend a lot of time just talking, about anything and everything. she is an intelligent woman, with strong opinions and well thought out ones as well. We enjoy the give and take, the laughing, the joy of conversing purely for the fun of it.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



Elorin -> RE: Whats its worth? (5/23/2007 6:27:35 AM)

Ability to carry on an intelligent conversation is one of the requisites for a relationship with me, D/s or otherwise. I expect submissives to be able to have a differing opinion and explain why without them feeling "unsubmissive" for doing so or for defending their point of view.

That doesn't mean I don't value a sub who can sit quietly in a variety of situations. I just want them to have the ability to chime in, and the willingness to speak up.

~E



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