The Wannabe? (Full Version)

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Copulo -> The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 2:15:51 AM)

How would you define a ‘wannabe’?

To me the word is an abbreviation of someone who ‘wants to be’ and if you want to be then you must be desiring to do what you want to do. The fact that you have or have not found a partner is irrelevant. Not having a partner does not make your desires go away!!! but just means you have not yet struck gold and just because you have not struck gold should you be labelled as a ‘wannabe’? after all the label holds very negative connotations and implies one is not real.
I know dominants that are very new to this but absolutely fantastic and I know dominants that have been doing this for years that are absolutely crap at it.
I know dominants that really would prefer to be submissive but for some reason advertise themselves as dominants. They can’t be wannabes because they actually don’t want to be!

So what exactly does this word mean?



slavejali -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 2:24:44 AM)

Wannabe = wanna be but never will?



LadyEllen -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 2:34:52 AM)

I think its meant to refer to those who emulate something without actually wanting to do whatever it is, out of a perception that whatever it is, is cool or otherwise socially advantageous for them. I dont think its fair to label someone a wannabe just because they lack experience or are fearful of doing whatever it is, as long as they are genuine about their feelings; and a lack of genuineness is usually easy to pick up on.

What springs to mind most readily is teenagers who, desperately trying to fit in with their peers, attempt to look the part of a goth or whatever, but dont really feel the same vibe that motivates the rest to identify as such.

E



Copulo -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 2:43:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen


What springs to mind most readily is teenagers who, desperately trying to fit in with their peers, attempt to look the part of a goth or whatever, but dont really feel the same vibe that motivates the rest to identify as such.

E


Ah yes, I can get my head round this kind of description. Kind of like an alter ego. I suppose then a wannabe could be a 45 year old female that puts a profile up saying she is 25?



Mellissande -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 2:57:44 AM)

wannabe. A.K.A Poser... Someone who looks or acts the part of something that they themselves have no passion or calling for



johntom571 -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 3:04:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo

Ah yes, I can get my head round this kind of description. Kind of like an alter ego. I suppose then a wannabe could be a 45 year old female that puts a profile up saying she is 25?


yeah, something like that.  My personal definition would include a sub putting up a profile where she claims to be looking for someone, but who won't return messages;

or someone from "Ontario", who is looking for a "local" Dom, but who won't specify where she is located in Ontario.

IOW, the sort of thing that makes you shake your head and say "WTF????"

JohnTom



LadyPact -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 3:09:41 AM)

I think of wannabe's as those who strictly are more fantasy based.  Not especially those who lack r/t experience because they have never had the opportunity, but those who will never gain r/t experience because they don't persue genuine opportunity.  It's like that fine line between can't and won't.  Don't misunderstand the definition of this.  I'm not talking about the cyber relationship types.  I mean more the ones who have no intention of following through.
 
Also in the catagory, I would put in those who will do r/t, but do so recklessly.  The type who figure all it takes is a good aim with a whip.  No real concern for what they are doing on other levels. 
 
To round it off, I'll agree with what else was said about if it is just something they do, but not who they are.  They can go through the motions, but it isn't what makes them tick.  The same spark isn't there.



subsfaith -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 3:46:27 AM)

I wannabe a professional footballer.  I promise that if a Premier Division club offers me a spot, I will train my heart out.   I will practice relentlessly.  I will show commitment and desire.  I will work harder than anyone else on the team.

Sadly, at the end of the day I am crap at football, I will never be good enough to even make a local side, let alone a professional standard.

To me a wannabe represents someone who will never be able to achieve the standard that they fantasize about. 

Faith
:: smiles ::



Politesub53 -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 3:59:02 AM)

If we are talking online, especially chat rooms, then to me a wannabe is the guy who calls himself Master, as he thinks it will help him get sex. Or the woman who calls herself Domme to get a guy to lavish cash on her.
Outside of BDSM a wannabe is just that, wants to be but wont ever, for whatever the reason.

I have to say im a little stunned at how many people here are called wannabe`s or fakes just because someone doesnt get a reply to a message, or hold the same viewpoint.
How can we expect society as a whole to accept the community, when we ourselves are judgemental ?  And yes i have been guilty of this when talking to others as well.

That said, im admin on a sports forum and its just the same there.
[;)]



asubmissiveheart -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:07:07 AM)

I don't use that term unless someone tells me they "wannabe".
I have no way of knowing what anyone really wants to be.
Usually if someone wants to be, they are working towards being
that.
I assume if they are not working to be something, they do not want
to really be it.
So why would I call someone a wannabe, that really does not want to be?



Copulo -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:09:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsfaith


To me a wannabe represents someone who will never be able to achieve the standard that they fantasize about. 

Faith
:: smiles ::



I like that definition, its really good



Copulo -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:10:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

So why would I call someone a wannabe, that really does not want to be?


Exactly!



asubmissiveheart -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:22:12 AM)

That is why I never use the term.
If it is clear they do not want to be, calling them a wannabe
means nothing.



IrishMist -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:29:18 AM)

I don't define such a person. Who am I to say that another person is not what they appear to be?



MadRabbit -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:35:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo

How would you define a ‘wannabe’?


Its a person that someone else doesnt like or doesnt fall into their perspective or standards of what a dominant or Master should be so they label them as Wannabe to pass judgement over them while wearing their high hats on top of their high throne.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Copulo
So what exactly does this word mean?


Its how the BDSM community, online and real time, expels people from the herd.

I can guarentee there is at least a handful of people lurking on this website who view me as a Wannabe.

Just like there is several posters I could label as a Wannabe because they dont fall into my perspective and standards of what a dominant is.

Like all things that are subject to opinion, it comes down to perspective so we are all wannabes to someone else and all real to another.

So when people label someone as a Wannabe either in public or threw whispers behind covered mouths, they are simply trying to get rid of them because they dont want that person to be around.

See also : Predator and Fake



sadomasokisti -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:42:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I think its meant to refer to those who emulate something without actually wanting to do whatever it is, out of a perception that whatever it is, is cool or otherwise socially advantageous for them. I dont think its fair to label someone a wannabe just because they lack experience or are fearful of doing whatever it is, as long as they are genuine about their feelings; and a lack of genuineness is usually easy to pick up on.

What springs to mind most readily is teenagers who, desperately trying to fit in with their peers, attempt to look the part of a goth or whatever, but dont really feel the same vibe that motivates the rest to identify as such.

E


Right on.
In my view wannabe has noting to do with experience or lack of it.  Simply people who are trying to be more than they really are. 



pinksugarsub -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:46:39 AM)

i guess it has two meanings that are completely opposite: as a P/person new to BDSM who wants to learn & gain experience; and as a fake who clothes H/himself or H/herself in BDSM lingo, etc with no intention of doing anything other than annoying P/pl.



Lashra -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:47:11 AM)

I define "wannabe" as: someone who tries to convince themselves or others that they are something that they are not.

Your quite right about many submissives trying to pass themselves off as Dominants (and vice versa), I think it has to do with the fact that some view submission as being weak. Which, I know is incorrect. Everyone should feel that they can be true to their own nature without negative side glances from others in the community.

~Lashra



darkinshadows -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 4:56:18 AM)

Reposted -
 
Someones wannabe is someone elses can be.
People use it as a detrimental word when someone does not live up to their own expectations.
 
Peace



windchymes -> RE: The Wannabe? (5/18/2007 5:00:22 AM)

It has changed context in BDSM world as the ultimate (or near-ultimate) insult toward those on the outside by those who consider themselves to be on the inside.



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