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ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout



I love being told what to do, to serve, even to the point of being micromanaged. I find I am much more relaxed than when I need to tell myself what to do, and I hate having responsibility. But I have never felt or wanted to feel as if I had no control. I obey because it feels good to obey and because it makes the other person happy. But there is no sense whatsoever of any kind of surrender inside of me. I could just as easily decide I didn't feel like obeying anymore, and it wouldn't bother me. Not that I would break my word if I had agreed to obey someone, but that's what it is, a kind of verbal contract that I honor. I am not devastated or even too upset if I disappoint my dom, although I genuinely want to make my partner happy and would work hard to do that. Other submissives I speak to talk to me of being totally devastated with so much as a frown from their dom.

Anyone else feel they are submissive because it feels good and not because they have somehow lost any control to their dominant? Is there a label for this kind of submission? Just curious because I'd like to connect with like-minded people so I don't feel so totally alien.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


I interpret your 'ability' to be able to withdraw your obedience at any time as being 'self-preservation'.  If anything goes wrong in the relationship, you know how to take care of yourself.  You might not see it in just those terms, but what you are saying is that you do have the ability to distance yourself if you have to.  To ignore self-preservation is rather vapid.

You say you dislike having responsibility.  In the sense of being a slave rather than being a submissive, this would still fall in line.  The more you submit, the more the 'owner' takes on as responsibility.  At that point, without having to concern them self with 'self', all that is left to 'do' is to serve and obey.  Simplistic?  Perhaps, but I don't see the difference between the two as being much more complicated than that.  A submissive (one that has one or more areas in their life in which they 'can't' or 'won't' submit) has to be protective of their 'areas' and be responsible for themselves in that way.  A slave is freed from that.

You imply that you are in a position to be compared to other sub/slaves.  One of the earliest truths I have found in the Lifestyle is that, given the opportunity, subs and slaves are a competitive lot (just as d-types are, given the same opportunity).  Any chance to show that they are 'more' or 'better' is a way to glorify their Dom or Owner, and themselves in so doing.  Whether this is valid or not, or despite there being some measuring stick for submission, this fact remains.

We all need to find our 'place' and be comfortable with that.  Whatever you are, whoever you believe yourself to be, and 'where' on the sub/slave scale you think you are, is ultimately a matter of yours and your partner, and nobody else.  It needn't be any more complicated than that.  If your presence in the public arena is getting uncomfortable, then withdraw from that for a while.  Your relationship is still yours to 'grow' and to enjoy.

Hope this helps.

Jeff

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I am comparing to slaves or subs who talk to me (or whom I just happen to see talking) about a feeling of not being "able" to disobey, not being "able" to disagree with and defy their owners/doms.