RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (Full Version)

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Aileen68 -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 12:37:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
So I went back to my swamp, put up my signs, and was a terrifying ogre once more.

Shrekergy


It ain't easy being green.

Kermit.



lanie38 -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:02:02 PM)

Lying by omission does not make you honest. If there's deceipt involved it's cheating.

But you also need to take responsibility for your own life. Be aware, be smart and let your expectations be known. Noone's a mind reader.

~lanie



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:21:30 PM)

I am gonna pull a forest gump stupid is as stupid does. if you can not be loyal fuck you.  thats all i got to say about that



ThudBaby -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:23:58 PM)

For the most part, I think cheating originates with unmet needs.  Now, in defense of the person who gets cheated on, they don't always know they aren't meeting their partner's needs because to know your partner has to communicate that to you.  Anyway, my take on the situation is that because most of us are taught that relationships (particularly marriages) are a lifelong commitment, we accept that...sometimes to our detriment.  I think if more people had a "evolution" attitude about relationships, more relationships would last longer.  Relationships are a fluid thing to me and should be navigated accordingly.

To echo several previous posters, I don't agree with cheating - not because of the infidelity itself but because it is deceitful and dishonest.  Immense trust is necessary for WIITWD and if you can't be honest with someone you've been involved with X number of years, why should I believe you are honest with me?

I'll be honest, I have cheated in previous vanilla relationships in order to get my needs meet.  Lying made it hard to look at myself.  So I fixed that by finding a Master instead of a boyfriend.  So far, its worked smashingly.  =)



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:34:58 PM)

so in other words to fix a problem  you create a bigger problem that is pretty much faulty logic  lol



ThudBaby -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:37:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

so in other words to fix a problem  you create a bigger problem that is pretty much faulty logic  lol

You'll have to be more specific if you'd like a response.



Celeste43 -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:52:03 PM)

I knew a man years ago whose wife had MS and had been confined to bed for some years with round the clock nurses. He was devoted to her, and rushed back if the next shift didn't arrive. All his clients understood that. And so did his girlfriend who honored him for it and also knew that just because his wife was slowly and painfully dying it did not also follow that he didn't need physical affection and some healthy physical romps in the hay.

I knew another who helped support his girl friend for 30 years, helped put her kids through college, paid for expensive dental work that went on for months when she sure wasn't capable of sex and who went home to his wife every night about eight.

If you're still friends with your spouse, even if it is obvious that you will never again have an intimate relationship with them, then why can't that be enough? Why must you destroy a home, cause financial difficulties, ruin your ums chances of making a successful marriage?

This is typical behavior in the French of the upper classes, or used to be. Marriage was for family, for property, for social reasons. Discrete lovers allowed both to fill other needs without blaming the spouse for being the same person they were when they wed.



BitaTruble -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 4:55:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName
It simply continues to amaze me how very many men I get writing to me, in one type of committed vanilla relationship or other, who feel the need to justify the fact that they are cheating on their wives/girlfriends. I got this when I was subbing and I'm getting it even more now that I am topping. It's just amazing to me...I guess I'm hoping to figure out why this amazes me so. Can anyone else relate to this at all?


I don't get it either, MNN. It's not just people who, themselves, cheat .. what really blows me away is because they do it, they assume that I'm going to cheat with them! WTF??? I've never cheated on anyone. I'm like a dog, loyal and faithful and if you have me, you have all of me including my fidelity. There just isn't a fuck in the universe that is worth the cost of selling out my personal integrity. To my mind, that's not cheap sex.. it's about as expensive a price as you can pay for 60 mins of rutting and sweating.

Celeste



ThudBaby -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 5:01:23 PM)

The reason I find these circumstances acceptable is because it is an unspoken agreement.  A friend of the family had MS and her husband had a similar arrangement.  They didn't talk about it, but she knew and accepted it because she thought he deserved that.  Same thing with the French thing - the cultural acceptance of discreet lovers (very similar to the fluid concept I think more people in the American culture should embrace) negates the infidelity IMO.



proudsub -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 5:39:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

*shrug* If they are cheating, it means there are just as many women out there willing to engage in it as well.

We're very afraid in life, afraid to be honest, afraid to lose something.  So we learn to hide.  We convince ourselves it's better in the end.

It isn't.  But fear is powerful.


Well said LA, that was my case, fortunately it ended happily when i finally did communicate with Hubby.[:)]



Sinergy -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 8:41:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
So I went back to my swamp, put up my signs, and was a terrifying ogre once more.

Shrekergy


It ain't easy being green.

Kermit.


Are you saying not being green is easy?

Sinergy



RRafe -> RE: Yet Another Rant About Infidelity (9/28/2007 8:46:21 PM)

Cheating is a bitch for everyone.

It's comes from wanting what you can't have.

And needing to have what you really don't want.

I'd rather be free.



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